Author Topic: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?  (Read 17525 times)

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kareng57

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #105 on: April 27, 2013, 04:41:46 PM »
I may end up in e hell for this, but I have been given the wrong bill in a restaurant and I have paid for it. But that was because the food was terrible and the servers were bothering us every five minutes. DH and I were on our second date and we could barely complete a conversation sentence when someone would come up and ask us if our meal was all right.

Well, you knowingly skipped out on part of your bill so ehell worthy and also criminal. Valid options would have included complaining to management, reflecting service issues in the tip, posting reviews, never returning. Theft - not so much.

I was a little confused about this - Katana_Geldar, did you mean you were given someone else's bill which was less than what your bill would have been?
We only tip here for exceptional service as servers get a liveable minimum wage. There's no way I was giving them extra money. The food was actually that disgusting that I wanted to send it back to the kitchen and not pay for it at all. They were lucky to get what they got.

DH actually said at the time that he usually would have said something. But our experience was so bad...


The server was not responsible for the quality of the food.

SiotehCat

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #106 on: April 27, 2013, 04:44:20 PM »
I may end up in e hell for this, but I have been given the wrong bill in a restaurant and I have paid for it. But that was because the food was terrible and the servers were bothering us every five minutes. DH and I were on our second date and we could barely complete a conversation sentence when someone would come up and ask us if our meal was all right.

Well, you knowingly skipped out on part of your bill so ehell worthy and also criminal. Valid options would have included complaining to management, reflecting service issues in the tip, posting reviews, never returning. Theft - not so much.

I was a little confused about this - Katana_Geldar, did you mean you were given someone else's bill which was less than what your bill would have been?
We only tip here for exceptional service as servers get a liveable minimum wage. There's no way I was giving them extra money. The food was actually that disgusting that I wanted to send it back to the kitchen and not pay for it at all. They were lucky to get what they got.

DH actually said at the time that he usually would have said something. But our experience was so bad...

I am still confused. Did you pay your bill or not?

reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #107 on: April 27, 2013, 04:56:28 PM »
I always tip with carry out.

And I also tip on the full amount on bills - ie, including the tax.

Quote
Income taxes are automatically taken out of their checks

On what amount? (That's a curiosity question - not a snarky one. I'm really asking what numbers they use to determine it.)

The thing about carry out is that sometimes the order isn't what you asked for (orders get mixed up) or the food quality just is not good.  Unlike eating inside, you don't find this out until later when you actually open up the bag.

Case in point:  A companion and I went into a very high end respaurent and decided to get our food to go.  He left a very generous tip.  When we got home (the other side of town) we opened our bag and discovered they hadn't put any meat on either of the sandwiches.  We were not pleased.


Katana_Geldar

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #108 on: April 27, 2013, 04:58:55 PM »
I may end up in e hell for this, but I have been given the wrong bill in a restaurant and I have paid for it. But that was because the food was terrible and the servers were bothering us every five minutes. DH and I were on our second date and we could barely complete a conversation sentence when someone would come up and ask us if our meal was all right.

Well, you knowingly skipped out on part of your bill so ehell worthy and also criminal. Valid options would have included complaining to management, reflecting service issues in the tip, posting reviews, never returning. Theft - not so much.

I was a little confused about this - Katana_Geldar, did you mean you were given someone else's bill which was less than what your bill would have been?
We only tip here for exceptional service as servers get a liveable minimum wage. There's no way I was giving them extra money. The food was actually that disgusting that I wanted to send it back to the kitchen and not pay for it at all. They were lucky to get what they got.

DH actually said at the time that he usually would have said something. But our experience was so bad...


The server was not responsible for the quality of the food.

No, but they were for the bad service. Bringing us the wrong bill was just a crowner. So we paid it, which was less, and left.

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #109 on: April 27, 2013, 05:25:20 PM »
Yeah, knowingly paying less than you owed because you didn't think the quality was good and you didn't care to talk to management is far worse than an etiquette breach.

Bottlecaps

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #110 on: April 27, 2013, 06:12:59 PM »

The thing about carry out is that sometimes the order isn't what you asked for (orders get mixed up) or the food quality just is not good.  Unlike eating inside, you don't find this out until later when you actually open up the bag.

Case in point:  A companion and I went into a very high end respaurent and decided to get our food to go.  He left a very generous tip.  When we got home (the other side of town) we opened our bag and discovered they hadn't put any meat on either of the sandwiches.  We were not pleased.

That's why I always check the food before I leave the restaurant, or at least the parking lot. That way if there's a mix-up, I can get it corrected while I'm still there. :) (The only reason I do this is because that same thing has happened to me a couple of times, except I didn't know it until I got home, so now I'd rather check while I'm still there and get it corrected, if need be, before I leave the premises.)

Yeah, knowingly paying less than you owed because you didn't think the quality was good and you didn't care to talk to management is far worse than an etiquette breach.

POD. That means that either A) another table got and paid your bill, not noticing the price difference, which was more than what they owed and therefore unfair to them; B) the server had to pay the leftover portion of your bill, which was unfair to him/her, or C) the restaurant ended up just writing it off, which was unfair to the restaurant. Even with bad service, it's never OK to skip out on your check, either in part or in whole.
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reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #111 on: April 27, 2013, 06:23:50 PM »

The thing about carry out is that sometimes the order isn't what you asked for (orders get mixed up) or the food quality just is not good.  Unlike eating inside, you don't find this out until later when you actually open up the bag.

Case in point:  A companion and I went into a very high end respaurent and decided to get our food to go.  He left a very generous tip.  When we got home (the other side of town) we opened our bag and discovered they hadn't put any meat on either of the sandwiches.  We were not pleased.

That's why I always check the food before I leave the restaurant, or at least the parking lot. That way if there's a mix-up, I can get it corrected while I'm still there. :) (The only reason I do this is because that same thing has happened to me a couple of times, except I didn't know it until I got home, so now I'd rather check while I'm still there and get it corrected, if need be, before I leave the premises.)

Yeah, knowingly paying less than you owed because you didn't think the quality was good and you didn't care to talk to management is far worse than an etiquette breach.

POD. That means that either A) another table got and paid your bill, not noticing the price difference, which was more than what they owed and therefore unfair to them; B) the server had to pay the leftover portion of your bill, which was unfair to him/her, or C) the restaurant ended up just writing it off, which was unfair to the restaurant. Even with bad service, it's never OK to skip out on your check, either in part or in whole.

re: bolded

Yes, I learned a long time ago to do that.    Sometimes it can get awkward, especially in a nice restaurant, but it's still a good idea.

I agree about skipping out on the check - whole or part.  People have gotten arrested for that (it's called theft of services).  Talking to the manager was the thing to do.

DottyG

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #112 on: April 27, 2013, 06:24:27 PM »
Yeah, K_G, I have to agree with the others. That's wasn't really fair (or legal) to do. Even if you were dissatisfied.


DottyG

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #113 on: April 27, 2013, 06:26:15 PM »
There is one restaurant that I get take out from that, I swear, always leaves something out of my order. You'd think I'd remember to check the bag before leaving by now, but I keep forgetting to do it at this place. It's infuriating!


MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #114 on: April 27, 2013, 06:29:51 PM »
If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

I have heard this argument several times and it's always puzzled me, because it simply isn't my experience. I've been to many restaurants in tipping and non-tipping countries both, and have seen no real difference in the level of service I receive in the different countries. But tipping affect the cynical side of me. If I receive good service in a non-tipping country I think, "Wow, excellent service. Cool!" If I receive good service in a tipping country I think, "Hmmm... Angling for a better tip there, aren't you?"

It's not the norm to tip where I live, and that's definitely what I prefer (restaurants aside, I felt terribly condesending tipping the bell boy, which I know is completely irrational), but "when in Rome...", so I never stifle people of a tip when abroad - and I err on the side of caution which has resulted in a UK waiter coming up to ask me if I really meant to tip him that much ;)

What's wrong with working hard to make more money?

Yeah, I wondered that too.

Nothing wrong with it. It's just a matter of attitude/motivation. Does a waiter provide good service because they want to provide good service; or does a waiter provide good service because they want a larger tip? (I realize it can be both - I'm just looking at extremes here). In non-tipping countries I can be pretty certain that it's the former; in tipping countries I'd have more reason to think it's the latter. Nothing wrong with the latter - after all, I'm just a paying customer - but it certainly doesn't give me the warm fuzzies either, which it might do in non-tipping countries.

I realize there are servers everywhere who work hard to provide good service because they take pride in their job, and not to make more money, which is why I specifically stated that it was the cynical side of me that thought that way.
 
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DottyG

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #115 on: April 27, 2013, 06:35:55 PM »
Quote
cynical side of me that thought that way.

I think your cynical side is in overdrive. While there are some isolated cases where I might be made to feel like "just a potential tip," that's the exception. I find that servers, at least where I am, seem genuine in their service and make me feel like they're doing their job well because they want to.

If you've been to parts of the US where you've felt like just a tip, I'm saddened. And can assure you that you found the rotten apples in our bunch.


MrsJWine

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #116 on: April 27, 2013, 06:42:09 PM »
If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

I have heard this argument several times and it's always puzzled me, because it simply isn't my experience. I've been to many restaurants in tipping and non-tipping countries both, and have seen no real difference in the level of service I receive in the different countries. But tipping affect the cynical side of me. If I receive good service in a non-tipping country I think, "Wow, excellent service. Cool!" If I receive good service in a tipping country I think, "Hmmm... Angling for a better tip there, aren't you?"

It's not the norm to tip where I live, and that's definitely what I prefer (restaurants aside, I felt terribly condesending tipping the bell boy, which I know is completely irrational), but "when in Rome...", so I never stifle people of a tip when abroad - and I err on the side of caution which has resulted in a UK waiter coming up to ask me if I really meant to tip him that much ;)

What's wrong with working hard to make more money?

Yeah, I wondered that too.

Nothing wrong with it. It's just a matter of attitude/motivation. Does a waiter provide good service because they want to provide good service; or does a waiter provide good service because they want a larger tip? (I realize it can be both - I'm just looking at extremes here). In non-tipping countries I can be pretty certain that it's the former; in tipping countries I'd have more reason to think it's the latter. Nothing wrong with the latter - after all, I'm just a paying customer - but it certainly doesn't give me the warm fuzzies either, which it might do in non-tipping countries.

I realize there are servers everywhere who work hard to provide good service because they take pride in their job, and not to make more money, which is why I specifically stated that it was the cynical side of me that thought that way.

What's wrong with it being both? People work hard because they like their jobs. People work hard because they want promotions. It's not an either/or. Sometimes keeping your eye on the promotion/better tip keeps you from screaming naked out of your workplace because everyone and everything is horrible that day. Sometimes loving your job is what keeps you from being completely beat down by a failure to get promoted or earn good tips. Neither is a bad motivation. Just because good tip/bad tip is a more immediate reward than a promotion is doesn't make it any less noble to work hard with that goal in mind.


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MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #117 on: April 27, 2013, 06:44:39 PM »
Quote
cynical side of me that thought that way.

I think your cynical side is in overdrive. While there are some isolated cases where I might be made to feel like "just a potential tip," that's the exception. I find that servers, at least where I am, seem genuine in their service and make me feel like they're doing their job well because they want to.

If you've been to parts of the US where you've felt like just a tip, I'm saddened. And can assure you that you found the rotten apples in our bunch.

The expectation of a tip makes me feel like "just a tip". Attitudes like "if you don't tip a waiter, you're stealing from them" makes me feel like "just a tip". The minute tipping goes from being a reward for good/great service to being an expectation even at average/expected service, I feel like "just a tip".

Yes, I'm against the practice of tipping for everything, can you tell? ;)

I would never dream of taking this out on the waiters though. I know what's expected of me, and I'll act accordingly. I don't want to be the one to give Danish tourists a bad rep when abroad :)
 
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MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #118 on: April 27, 2013, 06:45:47 PM »
If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

I have heard this argument several times and it's always puzzled me, because it simply isn't my experience. I've been to many restaurants in tipping and non-tipping countries both, and have seen no real difference in the level of service I receive in the different countries. But tipping affect the cynical side of me. If I receive good service in a non-tipping country I think, "Wow, excellent service. Cool!" If I receive good service in a tipping country I think, "Hmmm... Angling for a better tip there, aren't you?"

It's not the norm to tip where I live, and that's definitely what I prefer (restaurants aside, I felt terribly condesending tipping the bell boy, which I know is completely irrational), but "when in Rome...", so I never stifle people of a tip when abroad - and I err on the side of caution which has resulted in a UK waiter coming up to ask me if I really meant to tip him that much ;)

What's wrong with working hard to make more money?

Yeah, I wondered that too.

Nothing wrong with it. It's just a matter of attitude/motivation. Does a waiter provide good service because they want to provide good service; or does a waiter provide good service because they want a larger tip? (I realize it can be both - I'm just looking at extremes here). In non-tipping countries I can be pretty certain that it's the former; in tipping countries I'd have more reason to think it's the latter. Nothing wrong with the latter - after all, I'm just a paying customer - but it certainly doesn't give me the warm fuzzies either, which it might do in non-tipping countries.

I realize there are servers everywhere who work hard to provide good service because they take pride in their job, and not to make more money, which is why I specifically stated that it was the cynical side of me that thought that way.

What's wrong with it being both? People work hard because they like their jobs. People work hard because they want promotions. It's not an either/or. Sometimes keeping your eye on the promotion/better tip keeps you from screaming naked out of your workplace because everyone and everything is horrible that day. Sometimes loving your job is what keeps you from being completely beat down by a failure to get promoted or earn good tips. Neither is a bad motivation. Just because good tip/bad tip is a more immediate reward than a promotion is doesn't make it any less noble to work hard with that goal in mind.

Not sure I understand your question? I specifically said there was nothing wrong with it - twice even :)
 
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Iris

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #119 on: April 27, 2013, 07:34:19 PM »
They are stealing.  They are stealing someone's service and their other tips.  This is the way it is, servers work for tips.

That cocltail you ordered?  Gets tipped out to the bartender whether you tipped or not.  Hosts and hostesses?  They get 3% tipped out.  So, because you ate there, the server has to tip out others on your behalf.  When you don't tip, that money comes out of his other tips.

That is isn't how it is across the board but is in most large restaurants and chains.

And no, servers do not want to work for minumum wage.

If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

Also you might be surprised to know how much a server focuses on a particular customer because that is where his tip is coming from.

So, what give him the right t confront someone?  He is working for them!    If the customer is not going to tip they should e able to give a reason for it that is based on the server's performance, like "we waited half an hour for our apps" or "you never brought us our sides."

Unless someone comes from the moon, they should be aware of how the system works.  Doesn't really matter of one agrees with it or not, it is the reality.

Just because you are not compelled by law to do something does not rescind your obligation to it.  If you don't like the system, then don't dine out in the US.

Just wanted to pop in and say I live in a non-tipping country and the quality of servers is just fine, thank you. I dislike the notion that people only do a good job when they have a direct, immediate benefit from that or punishment for failing to do so. Many people do a good job because they take pride in themselves and their work, because they know they are a valued employee, because they are not stressed out wondering if this rude customer is going to pay them their rightful wage or not, because they value the training and experience they are gaining since they will use it to work at a better restaurant for higher pay, and I'm sure there are other reasons I have missed. I mean, I am a salaried employee, am not interested in promotion at this time, and am also very difficult to fire, but I still work very hard to do a good job simply because, like most people, I get a sense of personal achievement and pride from a job well done for a fair day's pay.
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