Author Topic: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?  (Read 17700 times)

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MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #150 on: April 28, 2013, 05:24:12 AM »
Considering the huge number of threads we have about tipping on this site - many of which are created by people in the US - it would seem like it's not just confusing to foreigners.
 
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JoieGirl7

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #151 on: April 28, 2013, 05:42:45 AM »
Considering the huge number of threads we have about tipping on this site - many of which are created by people in the US - it would seem like it's not just confusing to foreigners.

And yet, millions of people manage to successfully navigate it just fine every day.

MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #152 on: April 28, 2013, 05:45:31 AM »
Audrey, you and I are never going to see eye to eye on this, so let's just leave it at that and move on.
 
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JoieGirl7

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #153 on: April 28, 2013, 06:10:57 AM »
Audrey, you and I are never going to see eye to eye on this, so let's just leave it at that and move on.

It's not a matter of seeing eye to eye.  You don't even live here so why would think that its OK for you to so boldly state that we should do this or that.

It's one thing if you don't understand how another country's custom works or why.  But, it's over the line to pretty much insist that they should do them differently or really even to offer suggestions on how.

perpetua

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #154 on: April 28, 2013, 06:12:58 AM »
Audrey, you and I are never going to see eye to eye on this, so let's just leave it at that and move on.

It's not a matter of seeing eye to eye.  You don't even live here so why would think that its OK for you to so boldly state that we should do this or that.

It's one thing if you don't understand how another country's custom works or why.  But, it's over the line to pretty much insist that they should do them differently or really even to offer suggestions on how.

Well, it seems to be OK for the Americans on this forum to suggest that several UK customs are rude. I don't see the difference.


CakeEater

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #155 on: April 28, 2013, 07:27:10 AM »
If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

I have heard this argument several times and it's always puzzled me, because it simply isn't my experience. I've been to many restaurants in tipping and non-tipping countries both, and have seen no real difference in the level of service I receive in the different countries. But tipping affect the cynical side of me. If I receive good service in a non-tipping country I think, "Wow, excellent service. Cool!" If I receive good service in a tipping country I think, "Hmmm... Angling for a better tip there, aren't you?"

It's not the norm to tip where I live, and that's definitely what I prefer (restaurants aside, I felt terribly condesending tipping the bell boy, which I know is completely irrational), but "when in Rome...", so I never stifle people of a tip when abroad - and I err on the side of caution which has resulted in a UK waiter coming up to ask me if I really meant to tip him that much ;)

What's wrong with working hard to make more money?

Yeah, I wondered that too.

To me, it seems that it's not just hard work that earns more tips, but also friendliness that counts towards the total. So it feels like I'm paying for someone to be nice to me.

In our non-tipping culture, I look at the prices, know how much I'm going to be paying at the end, and then relax, not having to analyse the waiter's performance and provide a monetary ranking at the end of the meal.

Unfortunately, tipping is being suggested more and more here. I don't like it, and don't tip as a matter of principle.

I would tip in the US - don't worry!

LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #156 on: April 28, 2013, 08:15:45 AM »
Fair enough. Guess it's just a difference in thought-process then :) I, personally, am being cynical when I think that way. I would rather think that somebody goes the extra mile because of pride in their job than because they hope it'll earn them extra money. But neither is rude, neither is offensive, neither is wrong.
[/quote]

Ours is a capitalist society in which money is usually the main motivator, and this is tied in with pride in one's work. Someone who does not take pride in her work doesn't get the promotion, tip or pay raise she wants.

MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #157 on: April 28, 2013, 08:17:13 AM »
To me, it seems that it's not just hard work that earns more tips, but also friendliness that counts towards the total. So it feels like I'm paying for someone to be nice to me.

In our non-tipping culture, I look at the prices, know how much I'm going to be paying at the end, and then relax, not having to analyse the waiter's performance and provide a monetary ranking at the end of the meal.

Unfortunately, tipping is being suggested more and more here. I don't like it, and don't tip as a matter of principle.

I would tip in the US - don't worry!

That's it, exactly! Especially the bolded. Thanks, CakeEater :) I'll just give a giant POD to your entire post.
 
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LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #158 on: April 28, 2013, 08:27:21 AM »
If they were paid minimum wage, the quality of servers would go down.

I have heard this argument several times and it's always puzzled me, because it simply isn't my experience. I've been to many restaurants in tipping and non-tipping countries both, and have seen no real difference in the level of service I receive in the different countries. But tipping affect the cynical side of me. If I receive good service in a non-tipping country I think, "Wow, excellent service. Cool!" If I receive good service in a tipping country I think, "Hmmm... Angling for a better tip there, aren't you?"

It's not the norm to tip where I live, and that's definitely what I prefer (restaurants aside, I felt terribly condesending tipping the bell boy, which I know is completely irrational), but "when in Rome...", so I never stifle people of a tip when abroad - and I err on the side of caution which has resulted in a UK waiter coming up to ask me if I really meant to tip him that much ;)

What's wrong with working hard to make more money?

Yeah, I wondered that too.

To me, it seems that it's not just hard work that earns more tips, but also friendliness that counts towards the total. So it feels like I'm paying for someone to be nice to me.

In our non-tipping culture, I look at the prices, know how much I'm going to be paying at the end, and then relax, not having to analyse the waiter's performance and provide a monetary ranking at the end of the meal.

Unfortunately, tipping is being suggested more and more here. I don't like it, and don't tip as a matter of principle.

I would tip in the US - don't worry!

I don't know anyone whose experience in a restaurant is diminished by trying to analyze a server's job or calculating a tip during the meal if the server is doing a good job. In fact, a smooth experience usually indicates the server is doing a good job, and will be rewarded accordingly.

A dinner that is interrupted by the wrong food being delivered, the late delivery of the right food, the lack of refilling a drink, etc., however, usually means that the customer doesn't get to relax much, and probably tips accordingly.


LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #159 on: April 28, 2013, 08:36:00 AM »
No one is paid to be nice to someone in the restaurant situation. Servers are tipped according to the job they perform. A server can be nice to a customer, but if he doesn't do a good job, he won't be tipped as much as he would have if he had done a good job.

LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #160 on: April 28, 2013, 08:45:01 AM »
Audrey, you and I are never going to see eye to eye on this, so let's just leave it at that and move on.

It's not a matter of seeing eye to eye.  You don't even live here so why would think that its OK for you to so boldly state that we should do this or that.

It's one thing if you don't understand how another country's custom works or why.  But, it's over the line to pretty much insist that they should do them differently or really even to offer suggestions on how.

Well, it seems to be OK for the Americans on this forum to suggest that several UK customs are rude. I don't see the difference.

Which customs are those?

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #161 on: April 28, 2013, 09:17:12 AM »
As far as paying people to be nice to you - of course you do, whether it is through tipping or some other system.  I mean, look at disney World, friendliness is a huge part of the experience they sell.  They train their staff to be friendy because that's what brings people back and gets people in the mood to open their wallets.  Hotel reviews ask if the staff was friendly. Given a choice between a store with friendly staff and a store with staff that is rather standoffish, most people will take their money to the friendly store. There are all sorts of ways that we pay non-tipped people to be friendly/nice to us.  Maybe we don't stop and consider that we are doing it but the businesses sure do.

MsMarjorie

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #162 on: April 28, 2013, 09:22:40 AM »


Well, it seems to be OK for the Americans on this forum to suggest that several UK customs are rude. I don't see the difference.

Which customs are those?

Don't mean to derail the thread, but a few that come to mind are;
Hosting ones own birthday birthday party
Having friends attending the party pay their own way
Having a wedding breakfast for one set of guests and then having a larger party in the evening for different guests

MsMarjorie

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #163 on: April 28, 2013, 09:32:13 AM »
One other thing I have always wanted to know about tipping.  Do the waitstaff want diners to be in & out of the restaurant quickly so that they have more of a chance to get tips or is it alright to spend an evening dining at the restaurant?

Venus193

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #164 on: April 28, 2013, 09:37:41 AM »
I resent the idea that this is the subject of a joke.

I've lived in New York City my entire life and -- considering this is probably the restaurant capital of the world -- have never witnessed anything like this.

As to switching to higher wages without tips, I would definitely pity the generation of waitstaff who would have to make this adjustment.

As I said in another thread, I always tip in cash.  I don't trust restaurant managers to pay the tips specifically to the waitperson when the tip is put on a credit card.