Author Topic: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?  (Read 17519 times)

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LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #165 on: April 28, 2013, 09:49:45 AM »


Well, it seems to be OK for the Americans on this forum to suggest that several UK customs are rude. I don't see the difference.

Which customs are those?

Don't mean to derail the thread, but a few that come to mind are;
Hosting ones own birthday birthday party
Having friends attending the party pay their own way
Having a wedding breakfast for one set of guests and then having a larger party i
In the evening for different guests

With the possible exception of the first one, those would be rude if done in the US, but they're not in the UK. (I have no problem with throwing a party for yourself as long as you pick up the entire tab and do not expect presents.)

LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #166 on: April 28, 2013, 09:53:27 AM »
One other thing I have always wanted to know about tipping.  Do the waitstaff want diners to be in & out of the restaurant quickly so that they have more of a chance to get tips or is it alright to spend an evening dining at the restaurant?

I suppose it depends on the type of restaurant. In a place like Applebee's, I can see the staff wanting a quicker turn-around than at a place such as Canlis in Seattle.

Venus193

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #167 on: April 28, 2013, 10:00:18 AM »
Some places have undisclosed rules about how long patrons are allotted during the busiest hours.  That is for corporate's benefit, not the waitstaff's, although they are probably expected to uphold it.

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #168 on: April 28, 2013, 10:03:53 AM »
One other thing I have always wanted to know about tipping.  Do the waitstaff want diners to be in & out of the restaurant quickly so that they have more of a chance to get tips or is it alright to spend an evening dining at the restaurant?

I suppose it depends on the type of restaurant. In a place like Applebee's, I can see the staff wanting a quicker turn-around than at a place such as Canlis in Seattle.

Of course, the customers also tend to expect a fairly quick in and out in many of those restaurants.  They would tip less if it took too long from seating to taking the orders, taking the orders to first course - right on to taking care of the check.

LeveeWoman

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #169 on: April 28, 2013, 10:09:57 AM »
One other thing I have always wanted to know about tipping.  Do the waitstaff want diners to be in & out of the restaurant quickly so that they have more of a chance to get tips or is it alright to spend an evening dining at the restaurant?

I suppose it depends on the type of restaurant. In a place like Applebee's, I can see the staff wanting a quicker turn-around than at a place such as Canlis in Seattle.

Of course, the customers also tend to expect a fairly quick in and out in many of those restaurants.  They would tip less if it took too long from seating to taking the orders, taking the orders to first course - right on to taking care of the check.

Yep. A lot of it is about the expectations of all parties.

reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #170 on: April 28, 2013, 10:30:56 AM »
[
But, its not a reward!  It's a payment for services rendered.    Servers in countries where tipping is not the custom are also paid for their service, its just hidden in the cost of the food instead of over it.

If tip is "payment for services rendered" then add it to the price of the meal! Or call it "sales tax" or "service tax" or whatever. That would at least imply that it's mandatory. "Tip" (and even more "gratuity") implies "optional" or "voluntary" to me, which obviously isn't the case.

Now you know better.

No. 
MariaE, a tip/gratuity is optional.  There are many people who choose not to go along with it.

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #171 on: April 28, 2013, 10:34:42 AM »
[
But, its not a reward!  It's a payment for services rendered.    Servers in countries where tipping is not the custom are also paid for their service, its just hidden in the cost of the food instead of over it.

If tip is "payment for services rendered" then add it to the price of the meal! Or call it "sales tax" or "service tax" or whatever. That would at least imply that it's mandatory. "Tip" (and even more "gratuity") implies "optional" or "voluntary" to me, which obviously isn't the case.

Now you know better.

No. 
MariaE, a tip/gratuity is optional.  There are many people who choose not to go along with it.

In terms of etiquette and the US the psrt that is optional is how much you tip, whether you come back, whether you go out to eat in the first place.  Of course, everything is optional in some ways.  Saying "please" and "thank you" is certainly optional, as is covering your mouth when you sneeze.  That being said, if you don't exercise those options when society expects it the people around you will reasonably decid that you are an ill mannered, self-serving lout. But I guess that is your option, too.

reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #172 on: April 28, 2013, 10:50:29 AM »
[
But, its not a reward!  It's a payment for services rendered.    Servers in countries where tipping is not the custom are also paid for their service, its just hidden in the cost of the food instead of over it.

If tip is "payment for services rendered" then add it to the price of the meal! Or call it "sales tax" or "service tax" or whatever. That would at least imply that it's mandatory. "Tip" (and even more "gratuity") implies "optional" or "voluntary" to me, which obviously isn't the case.

Now you know better.

No. 
MariaE, a tip/gratuity is optional.  There are many people who choose not to go along with it.

In terms of etiquette and the US the psrt that is optional is how much you tip, whether you come back, whether you go out to eat in the first place.  Of course, everything is optional in some ways.  Saying "please" and "thank you" is certainly optional, as is covering your mouth when you sneeze.  That being said, if you don't exercise those options when society expects it the people around you will reasonably decid that you are an ill mannered, self-serving lout. But I guess that is your option, too.

Sharnita, I don't think calling me an ill-mannered, self-serving lout (directly or indirectly) was necessary or polite.  I'm not (what you said) and while it's your option to name-call and make a nasty insinuation, I think that's counterproductive.

I never said I don't tip - in fact I've said the opposite more than enough times.

All that aside, (speaking to MariaE) tipping in a restaurant is still optional.
« Last Edit: April 28, 2013, 10:53:02 AM by reflection5 »

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #173 on: April 28, 2013, 10:57:57 AM »
If you are looking for a private conversation, the message option is the best way to go.  And while tipping is indeed, legally optional, this isn't a legal board.  It is pretty clearly established that in the US tipping is part of the social contract that you accept when going out to eat.  If I were in a part of the world where the social contract of entering a home included the expectation that I remove my shoes and, knowing this I agreed to enter a home but refused to remove my shoes, I would be ill mannered.  I might be excercissing an option open but not all options are polite in all places.  So yes, if you enter an establishment knowing the expectation includes tipping for a service, accept that service and then refuse to tip because it is an option open to you then I think you have been ill mannered.

reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #174 on: April 28, 2013, 11:05:02 AM »
Not looking for a private conversation.
Didn't say anything about legalities.

jmarvellous

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #175 on: April 28, 2013, 11:55:10 AM »
To get the thread away from the back-and-forth ...
Someone in my hometown was killed (run over) after she went out to pursue someone who skipped on a check. The chain she worked for made a policy decision to not allow people to chase after a check (or a tip, I presume) any longer for the safety of their employees.

reflection5

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #176 on: April 28, 2013, 12:06:08 PM »
How awful.
Skipping out on a check is stealing/shoplifting.  Leaving without tipping (or leaving after paying what the restaurant deems an insufficient tip) is another matter.

Sharnita

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #177 on: April 28, 2013, 12:07:58 PM »
I believe there was a grocery store where an employee tried to stop shoplifters who made it to the parking lot, only to be run down by the thieves. I think that in general ot is a wise policy for any business not to chase people out to the parking lot for payment but it probanly requires workers to fight their human nature and sense of justice.

Twik

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #178 on: April 28, 2013, 12:15:05 PM »
The expectation of a tip makes me feel like "just a tip". Attitudes like "if you don't tip a waiter, you're stealing from them" makes me feel like "just a tip". The minute tipping goes from being a reward for good/great service to being an expectation even at average/expected service, I feel like "just a tip".

Yes, I'm against the practice of tipping for everything, can you tell? ;)

I would never dream of taking this out on the waiters though. I know what's expected of me, and I'll act accordingly. I don't want to be the one to give Danish tourists a bad rep when abroad :)

Well, I've never attended any commercial establishment where I expected to be "more" than a customer. Yes, some people are friendly and caring, but at the end of the day, they're doing their job, not serving me because they love me.

If there were no tipping, you would still be "just a customer" to those staff. Most of them would treat me well primarily because that is their job, and they would likely lose it if they didn't. And I wouldn't be looking for my validation as a lovable person by how sales staff of any sort treat me.
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MariaE

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Re: do waiters chase you if you don't tip in america?
« Reply #179 on: April 28, 2013, 12:54:07 PM »
The expectation of a tip makes me feel like "just a tip". Attitudes like "if you don't tip a waiter, you're stealing from them" makes me feel like "just a tip". The minute tipping goes from being a reward for good/great service to being an expectation even at average/expected service, I feel like "just a tip".

Yes, I'm against the practice of tipping for everything, can you tell? ;)

I would never dream of taking this out on the waiters though. I know what's expected of me, and I'll act accordingly. I don't want to be the one to give Danish tourists a bad rep when abroad :)

Well, I've never attended any commercial establishment where I expected to be "more" than a customer. Yes, some people are friendly and caring, but at the end of the day, they're doing their job, not serving me because they love me.

If there were no tipping, you would still be "just a customer" to those staff. Most of them would treat me well primarily because that is their job, and they would likely lose it if they didn't. And I wouldn't be looking for my validation as a lovable person by how sales staff of any sort treat me.

You misquoted me. I don't have a problem with being "just a customer". I have a problem with being "just a tip". CakeEater explained it well in her post.
 
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