bah12 - This woman was the OP's fathers step child in the marriage previous to the one he had with OP's mother. The closest you can call a family tie is she is the step sister of OP's half sibling. They didn't grow up in the same house or even have interactions, other than 3 times in OP's life. For the woman in the OP, she is reaching reallyreally far. They have absolutely no relationship to even try to call each other sisters. OP chats with this person on FB and is ok with that level of intimacy but this woman is trying to push something that truthfully is NOT there, never was there, and never will be there. The attempting to get her involved in the genealogy is kind of weird as they have absolutely no genetic connection, and if one were making a family tree, neither of you would include the other because there is no connection. The only concession I'm willing to give to this woman's delusion of family is she really loved and admired your father because he obviously stepped up when her own father didn't, but that doesn't give her the right to push and be mad that you didn't invite her to your wedding.
I am confused on where the anger (perceived by me) is coming from. I already stated that the OP is fine to feel the way she does and doesn't have to have a relationship
with this woman if she doesn't desire.
Trying to give her some perspective on where this woman is coming from is just that...perspective. One doesn't have to be biologically and genetically connected to someone to be considered family. Her father considered her family without this connection and clearly this woman feels that it is tie enough for her to want that same connection with the OP. The OP (or anyone else) doesn't need to be angry because someone is reaching out. The OP, from what I can tell, never said "I don't want you to be my sister, leave me alone", she's just ignoring all references to it. So, she can continue to ignore (my advice) or just come out and say "go away." But, I don't think this woman was wrong for trying.
Also, it doesn't seem that the "(non) sister" is pushing to be invited to the wedding at all. The OPs mom said that she was hurt that she wasn't invited. It's neither rude to be hurt, nor, IMO, is it rude to tell someone that she is hurt. She's not getting an invited to the wedding. As long as she accepts that without pushing the OP or talking to more relatives about why she's not invited, then she's good.
Again, like I said at least twice before, the OP is fine to stay distant. I just think she should try to not to worry about whether or not this woman refers to her as a sister to people the OP doesn't know. It's not worth the energy to be bothered and ticked off about that.
As for the bolded, I believe she is the half-sibling of the OPs half-sibling. She and the OP's half-sibling share a mother, while the OP and her half-sibling, share a father. That is the biological connection. The other connection is that the OP and this woman (along with their shared half-sibling) also share a father...just that she's not biologically related to him where the OP is. And while I (stating again) think that the OP can have a relationship
with whomever she chooses for whatever reason she has, I do think it's kind of cruel for anyone to argue that this woman has no right to even try a relationship
, or is delusional in thinking there could be one, simply because there is no biological tie. All the while, the OP has a relationship
with the other biologically related children in the family. Can you not understand how that might be hurtful...especially to someone who has already been rejected by her own biological father?
OP, I'm curious...does Betty also keep a familial relationship
with the child from your father's first marriage? Your other half-sibling?