Author Topic: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum  (Read 3848 times)

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Redneck Gravy

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2013, 01:25:21 PM »
I can only pod what others have said.

I am sorry Sick Employee is not happy with the gift fund arrangement, rules are rules.   If others want to add to the gift that is another option but the original amount of $30 is set for everyone.   

Unless you want to open a can of political worms, stick to the plan. 

Margo

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2013, 02:05:58 PM »
I agree with the previous posters. It's wholly inappropriate to expect more to spent on one person than on another,out of a joint fund like this.

I would be inclined to have more than one type of gift - say fruit basket OR flowers OR chocolates, and I would not have a problem with having fruit basket OR flowers OR gift card, if that is what everyone agreed was reasonable, but I would avoid having an exception for just one person; it's liable to cause bad feeling with those who were not given special treatment.

SamiHami

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2013, 02:10:00 PM »
I think such arrangements are a terrible idea. Personally I would opt out of and if I felt motivated to, I would send the person a get well card (or birthday card or whatever card). Even though they aren't mandatory they can often feel forced and then there are situations such as the one you describe. It's gone from being a nice gesture to the recipient dictating their own gift and others feeling slighted. To me that is not acceptable.

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cheyne

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #18 on: April 30, 2013, 02:16:45 PM »
How would you be a "sanctamonious female dog" by stating that the gift fund rules are in place and shouldn't be deviated from out of fairness to all?   If everyone contributes the same amount to the fund, why should some people be "more equal" than others?

Daquiri40

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #19 on: May 01, 2013, 10:39:09 AM »
Seriously?  The sick person is going to dictate what get well gift they want?  I don't want a stupid fruit basket - give me roses.  Why don't you  pay my phone bill?  How about you pay my lawn service?

Why does this special snowflake get special treatment?

Lynn2000

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #20 on: May 01, 2013, 12:58:43 PM »
Seriously?  The sick person is going to dictate what get well gift they want?  I don't want a stupid fruit basket - give me roses.  Why don't you  pay my phone bill?  How about you pay my lawn service?

Why does this special snowflake get special treatment?

I think this is where institutionalized "gifting procedures" sometimes break down. I mean, someone could be all SS going, "Fruit is so pedestrian! I want a potted orchid." Or someone could be saying, "You know, I appreciate the thought, but since we know this is happening in advance, I just gotta say, I don't eat fruit. So if you give me a fruit basket, it will go to waste. And I don't want the money [that I've contributed to] to go to waste. So would it be possible to get me something else, like a gift card to my favorite store?"

On some levels that's perfectly reasonable. But then an earlier person, who didn't think to ask, or didn't know about their absence beforehand, is hurt because they don't like fruit either, and would've preferred something else (and why is the hurt person spreading that around?). You could ramp it up to ridiculous levels, really, spending $30 on a cake for someone even though everyone knows they don't eat any of the ingredients in a cake, but darn it, they must have a cake because everyone gets a cake and getting them ice cream instead would be favoritism... Blergh.  :P
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NyaChan

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #21 on: May 01, 2013, 01:04:25 PM »
People knew when they opted into the program what sorts of gifts are given right? So this person has no business signing up and then saying, "well I'd actually prefer..."

Seriously?  The sick person is going to dictate what get well gift they want?  I don't want a stupid fruit basket - give me roses.  Why don't you  pay my phone bill?  How about you pay my lawn service?

Why does this special snowflake get special treatment?

I think this is where institutionalized "gifting procedures" sometimes break down. I mean, someone could be all SS going, "Fruit is so pedestrian! I want a potted orchid." Or someone could be saying, "You know, I appreciate the thought, but since we know this is happening in advance, I just gotta say, I don't eat fruit. So if you give me a fruit basket, it will go to waste. And I don't want the money [that I've contributed to] to go to waste. So would it be possible to get me something else, like a gift card to my favorite store?"

On some levels that's perfectly reasonable. But then an earlier person, who didn't think to ask, or didn't know about their absence beforehand, is hurt because they don't like fruit either, and would've preferred something else (and why is the hurt person spreading that around?). You could ramp it up to ridiculous levels, really, spending $30 on a cake for someone even though everyone knows they don't eat any of the ingredients in a cake, but darn it, they must have a cake because everyone gets a cake and getting them ice cream instead would be favoritism... Blergh.  :P

I think this is spot on in terms of how things start off ok and then morph into a problem.

Sharnita

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2013, 01:28:31 PM »
But people don't know ahead of time if they might have a health problem making them sensitive to scents or food.

bah12

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2013, 01:45:53 PM »
This is exactly why I don't like gift funds at work.  The concept seems nice on the surface, but problems always arise.

For this particular problem, if the normal gift amount is $25, I don't see why that can't be put on a gift card.  I don't think that additional money should be solicited at work, but I also don't think that a fruit basket as a standard gift is always the best either. 


earthgirl

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2013, 02:27:48 PM »
I'm wondering if the sick employee was the one who requested a different kind of present, or if it was just the other employee saying, "Hey, I know she doesn't like fruit, can we do something different?"

Either way, I don't think additional money should be spent on the sick employee, but at least I'd be less inclined to think "special snowflake" if it wasn't a request coming straight from sick employee.

Eeep!

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Re: Keeping it fair - the gift conundrum
« Reply #25 on: May 02, 2013, 07:46:19 PM »
I'm not a real fan of these types of policies either. I get the general idea but it just seems kind of weird to me.  The fact that this is a planned absence makes it seem even weirder. But that is just my personal opinion. ;)

The amount should definitely remain the same.  And I think it would be odd to give a gift card for a specific clothing store because it opens up the whole door to "why wasn't I given the personal attention to give me something I really really want".   So I guess I could see adding a gift card to the mix of gift options, but that still seems a bit off to me because I thought these types of gifts were more so there was a tangible representation of the fact that the office is thinking of you rather than "we are giving you $30 towards something".  But again, that could just me me. 

But definitely should be the same amount!
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