Thanks guys for all your opinions and advice. I really needed this because it's been driving me nuts and I have found myself questioning "Is it me?!". There could have been many things she could have done to make this easier- She could have won me over if she would just have picked up the phone and had a mature conversation with me. I did play it "dumb" with my text back, because honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about. I even asked her to cite specifics so I could understand her point of view. She never did and just kept giving rude, vague answers. I also told her that since she is going to be my SIL, I would hope that she would give me the benefit of the doubt and ASK me, rather than believe rumors from others or whatever ideas she created in her own head.
My brother's fiance is also trying to take him for his money. I know this, and I can see this. I know their finances is none of my business, but when she showed me the mini-mansion she wants him to buy, my mouth practically dropped on the floor! They make no where enough to afford that. Again, it is none of my business and my brother is a big boy that needs to grow a pair. It's just that I gathered that she is VERY materialistic, so I'm sure this drama isn't just the MOH by herself. I did talk to my brother- I told him 98% of the story because he looked like he had his tail between his legs, and I've never seen my bro like this. He apologized for her behavior, but I told him that she needs to be a big girl and talk to me directly.
The shower is this Sunday, so I think I'm just going to see what the "vibes" are once I get there and then make my decision about remaining in the bridal party. I'm NOT going to the b-party, but I am going to wait until after the shower to tell SIL, so there won't be any drama this weekend. Lord, I'm going to have to bring my flask!
Passive-agressive behavior, especially over technology drives me bat-sh*t crazy!!