...or why I may not quit my job and move in with my family any time soon. Or Ever.
There are some etiquette questions buried in here. I am going to try and keep it concise, but we all know my mouth runneth over in these cases; I want to get all the pertinent info in, so bear with me...
a) Cousin Cleo is getting married the end of June
b) Her future mother-in-law decided SHE would create and send out the invitations
c) Cousin Cleo's parents, Nefertiri and Tut are paying for everything and no one is keeping them in the information loop
d) Cleo and her future MIL are both, how shall we say, on the flakey side of disorganization.
e) My brother's family (which includes my Dad) moved last year and didn't bother to send out change of address notices for some inexplicable reason.
f) Cleo's MIL, from what I got from my Cousin Tut, decided to send one invite per household and sent my father a save the date card at his old address...back in Autumn of 2012. If she sent one to my brother and his wife and their kids, it never made it. Dad did not receive HIS save the date card until february of this year and it looked as though it had been through a war.
g) Similarly, the wedding invite was sent to the old address and showed up about three weeks late to the new address.
h) No card was ever sent to my brother and his wife.
i) Brother and SIL huffed and puffed and wondered if they were invited at all, but would not call Tut or Nefertiri even after Tut made a comment on email wondering where their acceptance card was.
j) I finally called Tut and asked which was probably bad etiquette, but I couldn't keep answering questions I didn't know the answers to. He was horrified and told me the story I related above about Cleo's future MIL screwing up the invitations. (He told me that several of Cleo's friends and her fiance's friends and relatives on both sides of the family had to be called and told they were invited because MIL apparently lost some of the addresses and didn't have enough invitations to send.
And now we are about two months from the wedding and the return cards were due yesterday and my Dad still hasn't sent his because he can't find it and Brother and SIL haven't responded because they didn't get an invite and SIL is insulted and doesn't think they are invited. So, to resolve the situation, they did what they always do and....called me again because I know so much about what's going on (end sarcasm).
I recited everything I just wrote above, indicated that Tut and Nefertiri had told me a dozen times that they were invited and to for heaven's sake send them and email RIGHT NOW saying they were driving up for the wedding.
At this point SIL reveals that SHE has my father's return card and is going to write that all of them are coming and finished with "I won't be embarrassed because it's not my family and if there's no table for us, we'll just drink all night." My brother started cussing at her and I finally got myself off the phone so they could argue with each other. (There's more going on but that's another story for another time.)
The place which causes me to want to ask a question of the hellions: when I last spoke to him (several weeks ago) Tut said he didn't have a clue if kids were invited as they had been going around on it and it wasn't printed on the invitations. He thought that Cleo didn't want to have children there. But he wasn't sure. (It was at this point he further revealed that , thanks to Cleo's and MIL's lack of foresight, they nearly didn't have a cake or a caterer as they waited so long, all the caterers they wanted were booked for that weekend.)
The question: my SIL and brother were so snarly with each other I decided not to bring up AT ALL the whole question about whether or not children were invited. Should I have mentioned it? I really want to sleep tonight and the outburst this would have brought on (from my SIL who had a chilod free wedding herself) would have made me sick to my stomach.
The other question: should I get in touch with Nefertiri and Tut and let them know that the younger Yarnspinner Cousins are coming to the wedding?
Any thoughts gratefully received. As for me, I was excited about this wedding and was also feeling rather positive about the notion of retiring the end of the year and moving down south to be with the family...and right now, I am remembering why I can only stand being around them for a short while. Maybe I will join a nice convent instead......
Thanks guys, for your always wise suggestions......