Since I messed up a thread about an upcoming family wedding over in Family and Children, at least one person thought it was about Stonecold because of the way I started out wording things....and since Vorfemme (for it was she) wanted to know if it was Stonecold upping the crazy, I told her I would write about Stoney's latest idea about potty parity for the patrons.
In our crumbling mausoleum of a library there are many bathrooms, but only five are for the public and two of them are disgusting. (The other two, which are in the children's room are not much better, but they are not filthy and falling apart and the drunks don't try to sleep in them.) The fifth bathroom is a unisex handicapped bathroom and it is almost completely inaccessible because it is on the third floor and if the elevators are working (which is often) people are out of luck.
Since we got a large infusion of cash, we had hoped that fixing the bathrooms would be a high priority. For example, we hoped they would make repairs, put in handicapped stalls and possibly put DOORS on the stalls in the women's room. But instead, the board and Stoney are using the money for....well, we don't know what they are using it for, but it never seems to get into the things that would improve the library. (For example---we suddenly became the proud owners of $50,000 worth of someone else's used office furniture and cubby divisions. And half of that was given to several outside groups who have nothing to do with the library except that they are friends of Stonecold.
ANYWAY, we have a patron whom I will call Gladys who is, well, a little bit delusional. A day without a complaint from Gladys is like a day WITH sunshine. Her computer doesn't work (it would have worked if she didn't keep hitting the delete button), the man next to her is watching dirty movies (he wasn't), her work didn't print out (because she forgot to hit the print button before she logged out but somehow that's our fault) and so on.
Gladys decided to use the ladies' restroom for the first time ever in her life recently. She came barreling out screaming about the filth and how her pants were soaked in someone else's urine (they weren't) and how she wanted to talk to the City Librarian about how disgusting it was.
So she was sent upstairs to see Stoney. No one thought anything would happen because if Stonecold is in the building it's a blue moon outside (seriouisly, sometimes she's gone so long we forget what she looks like)...
Well, Gladys was fortunate in finding Stonecold in. Stoney immediately escorted her back downstairs and gave the coworker who sent her up a tongue lashing and said "There are six staff bathrooms and you should have escorted poor Mrs. Kravitz to one of those instead of involving me. You could even have brought her to MY private bathroom. Think next time!"
So now if a patron complains we have to escort them to one of the few private places we have left.
However, Stonecold's comment that we could bring people to her private bathroom (which has a shower and other tiny luxuries) has spurred the following question:
"Gee, do you think we should spread around the idea that Stoney's bathroom is open to the public? I have a list of people I would like to bring in there, whether they want to use the bathroom or not....."