Author Topic: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)  (Read 15159 times)

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readingchick

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #60 on: May 13, 2013, 12:16:14 PM »
Amusing how "sacrifices" that "must be made" don't include not taking vacations where they can't take the animals.

You make an excellent point, Diane AKA Traska.

magicdomino

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #61 on: May 13, 2013, 12:31:16 PM »
I agree with everyone else - the problem of the security of the parents' home can be dealt with much more easily than by disrupting the OP's life. In fact, if there is a risk of home break-ins in the area, an investment in a home security system would be a good idea, since one cannot guarantee the house will always have someone in it. Many burglars prefer to work during the day, when people are out of the house for work or shopping, and neighbors are likely to say, "Hmm, there's a van in the Patterson's driveway - they must be having something delivered."

Not to mention that really bad criminals would not be deterred by the presence of two elderly people. A home security system is a good investment in keeping the parents safe as well.

This.  It sounds like, nice neighborhood or not, your parents are afraid, and their fear has rubbed off on you.  A good home security system can be set up for break-ins, fire, even wellness checks.

Twik is right about many burglaries happening during the daytime, particularly on weekdays.  Most people are at work or running errands.  If there is a possible witness, that person might not think twice about a "salesman" going door to door, or a truck backed up on a driveway.

SoCalVal

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #62 on: May 13, 2013, 02:44:33 PM »
Amusing how "sacrifices" that "must be made" don't include not taking vacations where they can't take the animals.

I thought that, too!



Alpacas

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #63 on: May 13, 2013, 06:52:09 PM »

I'll try to stay out of it, though it won't be easy.


There are some excellent quotes here on the Forum for situations like that

your Mom: We'll be vacationing from [date]to [date] so you need to petsit again
you: That won't be possible.(repeat ad nauseum)
 
your mom: Why? You don't have anything else to do
you: What an interesting assumption. Say how do you get your Orchids to bloom this early? mine still look dreadfull (beandip.beandip.beandip)


Should your parents try to guilt you into petsitting/Housesitting again just remind yourself that your parents don't seem to feel guilty that they're "abandoning" their pets


Sophia

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #64 on: May 13, 2013, 11:44:57 PM »
I am going to do a really dirty trick on you, but I think it is worthwhile.

Quote
I know this goes against everything we had pounded into us since birth, but trust me, it's true: sometimes it's okay to be selfish. When you think about it, a sense of self-preservation is a form of selfishness, yet it is necessary.

(written by you in another thread)

Yes, yes, I am mean and horrible. 

JoyinVirginia

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #65 on: May 14, 2013, 11:49:12 AM »
I'm still confused as to why a detached house is considered so much more dangerous than a duplex or apartment building. Op, I would be interested in any info. Is their neighborhood really crime ridden more than other areas?

artk2002

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #66 on: May 14, 2013, 01:29:35 PM »
I'm still confused as to why a detached house is considered so much more dangerous than a duplex or apartment building. Op, I would be interested in any info. Is their neighborhood really crime ridden more than other areas?

You're trying to apply rationality to what is, at best, an irrational fear. Or at least the magnitude of it is irrational. Certainly it's possible that someone could break in, find nothing of value and then trash the furniture. The chances of a break in in a good neighborhood are not much greater at night (if nobody is home) than during the day (when frequently nobody is home.) The chances of a break in at all in a nice neighborhood aren't that great either. The idea that someone must be in the house while the owners are on vacation, or some disaster will occur, isn't rational. Unfortunately, OP seems to have bought into this same fear.

Can stuff go wrong? Sure. There are no guarantees in life. But living ones life to avoid a .1% possibility (statistic made up, so don't go quoting me) is very unwise.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

bopper

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #67 on: May 16, 2013, 09:36:45 AM »
I think this would be good for the OP to read:
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Being-Taken-for-Granted

You have set a boundary. Yay!  What "Takers" do when shown a boundary is to push it.  So expect your mom to ramp up the guilt.  She is just trying to see how hard she has to push to get the boundary to come down.  But you have to be firm, otherwise she will learn that it takes 5 phone calls, 4 guilts and a "you will never see the pets again!" to get you to change your mind.

My stepmom has a dog.  She chooses vacation spots where they can bring the dog.  Sounds like your mom wants a vacation from the pets!

Winterlight

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #68 on: May 16, 2013, 11:37:34 AM »
Amusing how "sacrifices" that "must be made" don't include not taking vacations where they can't take the animals.

Exactly. The sacrifices all seem to be one-sided- and it isn't the animals actual owner who'll be making them.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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caz

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Re: Between a rock and a hard place (update post 43)
« Reply #69 on: May 17, 2013, 12:55:11 PM »
I am going to do a really dirty trick on you, but I think it is worthwhile.

Quote
I know this goes against everything we had pounded into us since birth, but trust me, it's true: sometimes it's okay to be selfish. When you think about it, a sense of self-preservation is a form of selfishness, yet it is necessary.

(written by you in another thread)

Yes, yes, I am mean and horrible.

Great point, Sophia!  (Not that I think you're mean or horrible :))

If we all treated ourselves like we think others should be treated, we would be happier people.