Author Topic: What gets your goat?  (Read 4850 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #30 on: May 03, 2013, 01:01:54 PM »
Anyone who scoffs at others for their weight.   As a short woman with a smallish frame and not many curves, I've been on the receiving end of "You're too thin to be attractive! Men like REAL women with curves!"  Even after 3 kids, I still have slim hips and a small chest.   When I get that I shrug and say either "Real women come in all sizes" or "I'm real enough for my husband."

The naughty snarky part of me would love to make a point of looking around my body and then saying "Hm, I don't see an air valve so I must be a real woman."  >:D

But on the other hand it also ticked me off in the past (don't hear it as much where I live now) when the extremely slender and fit sort would snort or scoff in looking at someone with a stockier, curvy build and insist that person is overweight and needs to diet.   I guess people aren't as image conscious in this town as they were where I used to live.  Thankfully!

My good friend in middle and high school was a tall girl with a stocky build.  Not overweight, but more often than not she wore boys clothes because she couldn't find much in the jr. section of stores that would fit her.   My mother would say "She's chubby"  >:(   I'd say "No, she's just big boned."  To which I'd get a very condescending reply of "Big boned is a nice way of saying someone's fat, dear.  It's an excuse people use when they don't want to do anything about their weight."

 >:( >:( >:( >:( 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

diesel_darlin

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #31 on: May 03, 2013, 01:12:28 PM »
When people tell me to "chill out". Might as well pour gasoline on a brush fire.  >:(
Don't worry your little head about that. >:D

Them's fightin'words.   ;)
>:D

It's even more provocative when they say, "Don't worry your pretty little head about that, Little Lady." :o

Yep, DD, they might as well pour gasoline on a brush fire.  One of my favorite David Bowie songs is "Putting Out Fire With Gasoline."


 ;D ;D ;D ;D

cicero

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #32 on: May 03, 2013, 01:24:53 PM »
a) People who say "you don't mind, do you" *while* doing that thing that you are supposed to not mind. Like, a former co worker used to take things off people's plates while saying "you don't mind if i take a bite of this do you" while she is already taking the food.

b) people who ask you a question and then say "are you sure?". um, yes, I'm sure. if you don't trust me then don't ask me. If I say that the correct term is "comprises X" or "consists of", believe me - i know what i'm talking about (English is my first language, I have a degree in english linguistics plus i'm weird about these things).

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siamesecat2965

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #33 on: May 03, 2013, 03:16:19 PM »
Anyone who scoffs at others for their weight.   As a short woman with a smallish frame and not many curves, I've been on the receiving end of "You're too thin to be attractive! Men like REAL women with curves!"  Even after 3 kids, I still have slim hips and a small chest.   When I get that I shrug and say either "Real women come in all sizes" or "I'm real enough for my husband."

The naughty snarky part of me would love to make a point of looking around my body and then saying "Hm, I don't see an air valve so I must be a real woman."  >:D

But on the other hand it also ticked me off in the past (don't hear it as much where I live now) when the extremely slender and fit sort would snort or scoff in looking at someone with a stockier, curvy build and insist that person is overweight and needs to diet.   I guess people aren't as image conscious in this town as they were where I used to live.  Thankfully!

My good friend in middle and high school was a tall girl with a stocky build.  Not overweight, but more often than not she wore boys clothes because she couldn't find much in the jr. section of stores that would fit her.   My mother would say "She's chubby"  >:(   I'd say "No, she's just big boned."  To which I'd get a very condescending reply of "Big boned is a nice way of saying someone's fat, dear.  It's an excuse people use when they don't want to do anything about their weight."

 >:( >:( >:( >:(

Grrr. While she didn't scoff, I have a friend, who I've posted about before, that has many ideas about many things, many of them wrong.  I just joined WW at work, since I am fat, and need to lose weight. I'm 5' 5" and the healthy "range" for that is 120-150. I can say with certainty, I haven't weight anywhere NEAR the low end since I was about 12. And I was not heavy until after college.

I never have been, and nver will be anything less than a size 12. Its just not the way I'm built.  I am a bit stocky, and a bit of a late bloomer, so when I was in my ďbestĒ shape, I was about 130-135, and a size 12. Iím big boned and a former swimmer, which means I have shoulders like a linebacker. I also know at 47 I will never look like I did at 18, and Iím fine with that.  Iím aiming for somewhere in the 150ish range, but Iím not obsessing over the actual number. 

My friend however, said this to me.  I was like ok, right, as you lose weight your bones ďdisappearĒ ok sure, if you say so (her comment in quotes below) I'm also not sure where her shoulders went either, but I've learned to leave well enough alone with her sometimes as it just makes me want to bang my head against the wall!

"When I lost all of this weight the large shoulders and bones disappeared - it was all the excess weight I was carrying and didnít even realize it"

Emmy

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #34 on: May 03, 2013, 10:16:07 PM »
I can relate to Bijou's complaint.  Feeling ignored or invisible is one of the biggest things that gets my goat.  I hate when I am with DH and somebody only acknowledges him. 

I also hear you on the pregnancy complaints.  My mom's friend who came to Easter dinner made several comments on how I looked HUGE for being 5.5 months pregnant, joked about it being twins, ect.  I am right on track with weight gain, but even if I wasn't it, it is still unkind to say these things to a pregnant woman.


Piratelvr1121

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #35 on: May 04, 2013, 12:16:17 AM »
"You should mend fences with your parents because my mother/father died and oh I miss them so muuuuch!  How will you feel if they die and you haven't had a chance to make things right?"

 ::) I had to grit my teeth upon hearing this from a cousin who lost his mother about 2 years ago.  Makes me thankful for people who do have good relationships with their families but do understand that toxic relationships aren't worth holding onto.

Or more fun: "You should mend fences because you have another baby!" Nope.  Not when it took me awhile to detox my older two of their influence.  I might have finally just now gotten through to my middle child that he's not fat, 3 years after we moved.

As time goes on I get the impression that the majority of the extended family thinks my parents can do no wrong.  My brother's not so deluded, neither is my youngest aunt/godmother but everyone else just can't seem to fathom why I don't want to have anything to do with my parents. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

TylerBelle

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #36 on: May 04, 2013, 12:44:04 AM »
As I am speaking with someone as we're standing together, for that person to either bend at the waist (to get more at my eye level I guess), or at the worst, squat down to look up at me. Grrrr... I don't know if it's so we'll be like speaking more eye to eye, or perhaps it's for the other person's comfort, but it makes me feel like a three-year old getting something explained to them. If it's for comfort, let's go sit down and talk there.

I got I suppose a little PA once when I squatted down as well after someone did so with me. They didn't say anything about it and we just ended up sitting on the floor ::). What's funny is it seems the taller the person, the less this has happened.
Always be on the lookout for wonder. --E.B. White

Octavia

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #37 on: May 04, 2013, 04:41:07 AM »
Being micromanaged at work  >:(
"I never explain anything." ~Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins

scotcat60

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #38 on: May 04, 2013, 10:55:05 AM »
I never have been, and nver will be anything less than a size 12.

You lucky girl.  I know that sizes are different in the Uk to those of the US, but where I am in the former country, a size 12 is slim, and I wish I was that.

Thipu1

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #39 on: May 04, 2013, 11:03:46 AM »
Size 12 in the US is a perfectly respectable size for an adult woman.   :)

Yarnspinner

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #40 on: May 04, 2013, 11:13:30 AM »
You and I are having a conversation...you are telling me a story (or maybe I am telling you a story)with an important point to it and...someone from your church/book club/swim meet walks up and in between us and you totally drop me and our conversation and start talking with this person as if nothing was going on and as if I wasn't there.  After five minutes of waiting for you to finish up and make your point to me OR to at least say to me "Excuse me, Lily, this is X from Y and we need to discuss something fast, I will get right back to you..." and nothing happens except the two of you carry on chatting.....I walk away.

And when you are finished with the conversation you do not say "Sorry about that, let me finish what I was telling you....." and instead walk off to do something else.

Yeah, that really, really makes me grind my teeth.

Kariachi

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #41 on: May 04, 2013, 12:33:25 PM »
You and I are having a conversation...you are telling me a story (or maybe I am telling you a story)with an important point to it and...someone from your church/book club/swim meet walks up and in between us and you totally drop me and our conversation and start talking with this person as if nothing was going on and as if I wasn't there.  After five minutes of waiting for you to finish up and make your point to me OR to at least say to me "Excuse me, Lily, this is X from Y and we need to discuss something fast, I will get right back to you..." and nothing happens except the two of you carry on chatting.....I walk away.

And when you are finished with the conversation you do not say "Sorry about that, let me finish what I was telling you....." and instead walk off to do something else.

Yeah, that really, really makes me grind my teeth.

Heck, something like that played into me leaving my ex. A subtle hint, if your long-distance partner has asked that you give them your attention while you're on the phone instead of using that time to do everything else in the world*, maybe calling them, talking for fifteen minutes, then leaving them sitting on the line while you discuss the next day's plans with your friends for upwards of a half hour isn't a good idea. Worse, they knew she had me on the line! She was sitting there, staying the night at a friend's, phone at her ear, discussing plans with them and ignoring me.  :'(


*We didn't talk on the phone much, and normally she'd be half listening to me while she played a game, or surfed the web, or joked around with her roommates. We'd get in about forty minutes of talking and another two hours of me sitting there listening to her go about her day. Yes, I was young and stupid. Still young, hoping the stupid has cleared up some.
"Heh. Forgive our manners, little creature ó that we may well kill and eat you is no excuse for rudeness."

AmethystAnne

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #42 on: May 04, 2013, 09:05:06 PM »
At home: DH leaving a tiny bit of milk in the container and putting it back in the 'frig.

At work: someone taking the last 2 food-handler gloves and putting the empty box back on the shelfe, instead of throwing the empty box away and going to the stock room for a new box. Or using the last 12 inches of the paper towel, leaving the next person with wet hands and having nothing come out of the dispenser when pushing down the handle.

Garden Goblin

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #43 on: May 06, 2013, 05:32:13 PM »
When I have my headphones on, am reading a book, and have fully closed body language and somebody comes over to talk to/flirt with me and gets mad when I don't want to talk/be receptive to their flirting.

And then folks thinking I'm the bad guy because I didn't want to talk and getting the"would it have killed you to be 'nice'"?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What gets your goat?
« Reply #44 on: May 07, 2013, 06:51:02 AM »
When I'm on the phone with someone, DH is home and the kids insist on coming to me with questions.  ::)  They say it's because "Dad will say no" to which I say "Why do you think I'll say any different, especially when you're interrupting?"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata