Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

You Must Reproduce for Your Country!!!

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Yvaine:
I don't spend much time reporting things to management, but this is a case where I would. Store employees should not be spouting racist garbage at customers!  :o

nuit93:

--- Quote from: Yvaine on May 01, 2013, 08:21:34 PM ---I don't spend much time reporting things to management, but this is a case where I would. Store employees should not be spouting racist garbage at customers!  :o

--- End quote ---

I would too.

Otherwise, my only response would be to completely Godwin the conversation ("you know who ELSE said women should reproduce for their country?").

mrkitty:

--- Quote from: Yvaine on May 01, 2013, 08:21:34 PM ---I don't spend much time reporting things to management, but this is a case where I would. Store employees should not be spouting racist garbage at customers!  :o

--- End quote ---

This. So much this.

You know how safety trumps etiquette? I think this is similar - sometimes, things are just so out of line it can rise to an occasion of "this is not to be tolerated at all". This is one of those things, for me....I would definitely speak to the manager or contact headquarters. This could really affect their business....and, it could be indicative of a racist/discriminatory attitude on the part of the clerk that needs to be addressed.

But I also think this is a very valid etiquette issue...because how do you fend off obnoxious inquiries/statements like this when normal means fail?

Midnight Kitty:

--- Quote from: hobish on May 01, 2013, 06:51:41 PM ---Hey, nice to meet another happily childfree person who can't have kids without fertility treatments or whatever. I am in the same boat. :)
--- End quote ---
I'm there with ya :-*

I, too, have found that replying "It just never happened for us" with a slight quiver usually prompts people to change the subject for fear I'll start crying.  Although I wanted children when I was younger, I'm perfectly content with the way this part of my life worked out.  When I wanted children, I did not know I would be caring for a half blind disabled husband.  Eventually the hormones ease up and the sight of cute babies doesn't cause me to say "I want one of those!"

nuit93:

--- Quote from: Janice on May 01, 2013, 06:21:06 PM ---My flabber is well and truly gasted. I had a strange and bizarre interaction at a local store the other day. The lady who I was dealing with was in her 60's, which is relevant to the story....

BG: I don't have kids, nor do I want them. Occasionally I'm asked in passing if I have kids, I say "no", and if pressed, will simply say that I can't have them, which usually repels rude and nosy questions and is still etiquette friendly. I find that especially with older women like the lady in this story, they'll accept "I can't have children" at face value without question, but get ridiculously offended if I tell them the real reason, which is that I've never wanted kids enough to go down the fertility treatment road. I'm not interested in discussing my reproductive equipment with strangers or casual acquaintances, so this option works fine for me, as most people assume it's a painful subject and are polite enough not to pry.

Most of the time, anyway. Until "Store Lady".

Me: Enters store, brings purchase to counter.

Store Lady: **small talk, weather, blabbetty blah** So, how many kids do you have?

Me: No kids. I have 3 nephews though (this usually distracts them)

Store Lady: What??? No kids??? Why not??

Me: (thinking "oh no, it's the Childbearing Evangelist, better shut this down") I can't have them.

Store Lady: Well, you know not enough Orange people are having kids and all the Other Colors are! You'll see when you get older! This is a big problem! You should be doing something or there will be no more Orange people.

Me:  :o That's an interesting assumption. Well, I can't have kids, so I'm off the hook.

Store Lady: I just don't know what's wrong with all the girls today. There was never any of this infertility when *I* was younger. Why, my mother had 5 kids! Everyone had kids! You should have 3 kids...2 to replace the parents and one for the country. That's the RIGHT thing to do!

Me:  :o :o :o :o. Um. Thankyouhaveanicedaybye!!!! (flees store, never to return)

I've experienced people who think it's their duty to convince me to have a kid before, and even the nasty "THEY are out-reproducing US" attitude (so weird), but this is the first time I've been told that it's my duty to my country to clone myself!

--- End quote ---

I'd add to that: how would she know your S/O is Orange also?  He could be Blue.

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