Author Topic: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?  (Read 6328 times)

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GSNW

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A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« on: May 02, 2013, 06:44:31 PM »
I was listening to my local radio morning show this morning on the way to work. 

The female host (Mercedes) mentioned this as a "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook, and naturally I was curious about what everyone here thinks.  Mercedes says that posting pictures of a bride and groom on FB is an etiquette issue, and the "rule" is that NO ONE in attendance at the wedding should post pictures of the B/G until the B/G have posted pictures themselves... and then, it's open season.

I've never thought about this myself, but I'm not a person who posts photos of every event I'm at.  On one hand, I can see the B/G wanting to "debut" the photos of their wedding themselves.  On the other hand, it seems a little SS to mandate that people to hang on to their photos ("Me and BrideKaty at her wedding this weekend!") until B/G decide it's time to put them out there (if ever, since not everyone does that). 

What do you guys think?


CakeEater

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2013, 07:09:01 PM »
That wouldn't bother me as a bride. I'd be excited to see people's photos.

I think not posting photos that are very unflattering is a more important rule.

Surianne

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2013, 07:22:12 PM »
I think it's best to ask the bride and groom before posting photos of their wedding. 

Slartibartfast

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2013, 10:47:52 PM »
I had better things to do between my wedding day and my honeymoon than to spend them worrying about getting credit for Facebook photos.

Hmmmmm

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2013, 11:20:21 PM »
I was listening to my local radio morning show this morning on the way to work. 

The female host (Mercedes) mentioned this as a "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook, and naturally I was curious about what everyone here thinks.  Mercedes says that posting pictures of a bride and groom on FB is an etiquette issue, and the "rule" is that NO ONE in attendance at the wedding should post pictures of the B/G until the B/G have posted pictures themselves... and then, it's open season.

I've never thought about this myself, but I'm not a person who posts photos of every event I'm at.  On one hand, I can see the B/G wanting to "debut" the photos of their wedding themselves.  On the other hand, it seems a little SS to mandate that people to hang on to their photos ("Me and BrideKaty at her wedding this weekend!") until B/G decide it's time to put them out there (if ever, since not everyone does that). 

What do you guys think?

There was a discussion about this a year ago. I agree with her rule but the majority thought that guests shouldn't be restricted.

I can't find the discussion now.

MariaE

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2013, 03:07:02 AM »
At my sister's wedding, somebody posted photos from their cell phone immediately following the service, because they were so excited they just had to squee :)

I don't think it's a problem as long as it's informal photos you've taken yourself. If you've somehow gotten hold of the formal wedding photos, then it's a completely different matter.
 
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Katana_Geldar

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2013, 03:52:58 AM »
We didn't mind as we wanted to see them, and it was three months until our professional ones arrived.

lady_disdain

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2013, 09:41:01 AM »
I wouldn't share pictures of the ceremony, first dance or anything that is specific to the happy couple. I wouldn't think twice before sharing photos of the guests dancing or greeting the couple - in other words, photos that are centered on me and my friends at that wedding.

earthgirl

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2013, 10:25:07 AM »
At my sister's wedding, somebody posted photos from their cell phone immediately following the service, because they were so excited they just had to squee :)

I don't think it's a problem as long as it's informal photos you've taken yourself. If you've somehow gotten hold of the formal wedding photos, then it's a completely different matter.

I agree.  DH and I left for our honeymoon only a matter of hours after the wedding.  We were excited to see some informal pictures from our friends up on facebook almost immediately.  Since we were on a cruise and had to pay an arm and a leg for internet service, we stayed off of facebook entirely but checked our email once in the middle of the week.  Our professional photographer was super fast and had already sent us a link to all the formal photos, with editing, so we forwarded that link to our close family members.  By the time we got home, I was really annoyed to find that SIL had posted the link to our professional pics on facebook for everyone to see -- while it's not that I didn't want them to be shared, they weren't hers to share. 


jmarvellous

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2013, 10:59:19 AM »
My wedding is in 2 weeks, and I wouldn't dream of dictating how my guests treat it on social media. They are sharing their experiences, not dictating mine.

That said, I might feel different if they post a photo with a caption like, "Omgosh, look at the world's ugliest bride at the stupidest wedding ever!" But I do not plan to invite anyone like that!

Lynn2000

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2013, 11:14:26 AM »
To me, this seems like one of those things where if a bride or someone says, "You, don't do this!" I would roll my eyes and think them very dictatorial. But if I read from a neutral third party that "the advice is to not..." I would think, hmm, that's a good idea, I'll try to remember that.

Unless you are making people sign confidentiality agreements or something like that, I just don't think you can ask people not to post pictures of an event you've invited them to, that they took themselves. Personally I'm not ready to make that the standard. I think it's nice to wait until the HC post their own pictures, or to get permission from the HC first, but I don't think it's necessary.
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lady_disdain

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2013, 11:30:00 AM »
Unless you are making people sign confidentiality agreements or something like that, I just don't think you can ask people not to post pictures of an event you've invited them to, that they took themselves.

Oooh, I can just see the small print on the invitation: "by accepting this invitation, you thereby agree to provide one wedding gift of at least $60 dolar vaue (cash preferred); to refrain from announcing any engagement, wedding date, pregnancy or equivalent milestone from this moment until 2 weeks after the wedding; to refrain from posting wedding pictures online before the HC does it."

Judah

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2013, 11:35:44 AM »
I think the only "Cardinal Rule" on Facebook is that there really are no hard and fast rules on Facebook that are different than our usual rules for getting along with people in the real world.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
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Lynn2000

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2013, 11:58:11 AM »
Unless you are making people sign confidentiality agreements or something like that, I just don't think you can ask people not to post pictures of an event you've invited them to, that they took themselves.

Oooh, I can just see the small print on the invitation: "by accepting this invitation, you thereby agree to provide one wedding gift of at least $60 dolar vaue (cash preferred); to refrain from announcing any engagement, wedding date, pregnancy or equivalent milestone from this moment until 2 weeks after the wedding; to refrain from posting wedding pictures online before the HC does it."

Ha! Actually I can imagine some situations where more extreme measures might be warranted, but they wouldn't apply to the vast majority of HCs. Like if someone is a celebrity who's made a deal to sell their wedding photos exclusively to People magazine--probably lowers their street value if Aunt Matilda posts pictures of the dress and cake on Facebook that evening. If we aren't at that level, then I don't think the HC can really say anything.
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Cz. Burrito

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2013, 12:17:37 PM »
I agree with the rule, unless you know for sure that the Bride and Groom don't mind.  I wouldn't want to bother them to ask, so I would just not post photos until they had posted some themselves unless I know that they are the sort to not mind.  A lot of people probably wouldn't mind candids being posted, but I wouldn't want to unnecessarily step on toes over a photo on Facebook.