I got married last October. We honeymooned in the States and I was so glad I brought my laptop with me - every evening I would go onto Facebook and find more wedding photos posted by friends and family which i right-click saved. I had two photographers, who took between them about 900 photos. I got over 600 additional photos from friends and family off Facebook and Flickr.
Sure it made making my albums more work, but ultimately it made them better because now we had candids, and shots from different angles and some had filters applied and stuff the photographers missed.
It never occurred to me to be upset by the photos being posted! In fact I never posted a single wedding photo on Facebook from my wedding. Two reasons - one I didn't bring a camera (and the professional photo links took a week to be sent to us) and two - I think its rude to post about a party I hosted in front of people I didn't invite (isn't that a cardinal rule?)
You didn't post pictures because you didn't want to post about party to people you didn't invite but if all the pictures were tagged with your name then all of your FB friends still saw the pictures.
That is the main
reason why I don't like when people post so many pictures of someone elses event. Why do all of your friends need to see pictures of someone elses event? More importantly why would you presume that everyone on the Bride/Groom's friends list want to see immediate pictures of event they were not invited to? Guest list are hard enough and not everyone chronicles their life statuses as soon as they happen (or keeps FB for just one circle of close friends). I've been to plenty weddings where co-workers/distant families etc did not know about wedding until afterwards when relationship
status changed and/or select pictures posted.
To me the rule should be know your audience. If a couple has hashtags up or openly encourage photos then go for it. But if you are with couple that has been parse with wedding talk on FB then respect that and let them announce their news as they see fit. You can share links to photos (or actual ones) with the couple without FB.
I have family members that refuse to respect my low profile so I no longer take any pictures with them.