Author Topic: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?  (Read 6946 times)

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hobish

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #45 on: May 14, 2013, 07:13:32 PM »
I went to a wedding last summer where the couple had inserts with the programs asking guests not to post any pictures from the wedding to social media for privacy reasons. This bothered me more than I expected because it left me feeling that I couldn't even post pictures just of my girlfriend and I together without violating the spirit of the request. I understand why they asked it - they don't have social media presences anymore and wanted to control how much is out there and possibly public about themselves - but it could have been worded much better, in my opinion.

I'm not a big photo person. I seldom post photos on public media unless someone makes a specific request. So when I read your post, it sounds to me that you feel your desire to be able to post photos of you attending an event hosted by some one else should trump the hosts desire to have no photos of an event they hosted be in social media.

I've read this sentiment many times. One poster here in another thread said they would refuse to attend an event if they were told they couldn't post photos.

No, actually, I felt like my desire to post a nice picture of myself and my girlfriend dressed nicely, with no reference to the event itself, was overridden by the happy couple's desire to keep their event off social media. Could I have posted that? Probably, but I felt that would still be going against their request that no photos period be posted.

I think they have the right to make this request.
>sigh< Yet another reason to elope. If i want to invite my friends to come share in a special day with me, while i feed and entertain them, then I come off as some kind of witch because i don't want pictures of it posted on the internet?  >:(

Is there a way to put that in the invitation?
If you absolutely must post pictures on social media, and will feel put out and think bad thoughts at me if requested not to, please do send regrets. Ta.

That would really tick me off. You want to post pretty pictures of yourself? Host your own event and do as you please.



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Saki_Fiz

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #46 on: May 14, 2013, 09:18:54 PM »
I always thought it was best to get permission before posting a picture of someone else online. Whether it's at their wedding or anything else.

This is where I land on the subject.  I always ask, and my good friends know to ask me each time.  If you aren't a good enough friend to know to ask, then I'll probably refuse to take photos with you.

ETA: And yes, I would have been extremely irritated if people had posted photos of my wedding on Facebook. It would be like if they posted them on a giant billboard on a major highway without my permission.  I don't really want tons of strangers seeing my photos.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2013, 09:27:33 PM by Saki_Fiz »

thedudeabides

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #47 on: May 18, 2013, 10:51:56 AM »
I went to a wedding last summer where the couple had inserts with the programs asking guests not to post any pictures from the wedding to social media for privacy reasons. This bothered me more than I expected because it left me feeling that I couldn't even post pictures just of my girlfriend and I together without violating the spirit of the request. I understand why they asked it - they don't have social media presences anymore and wanted to control how much is out there and possibly public about themselves - but it could have been worded much better, in my opinion.

I'm not a big photo person. I seldom post photos on public media unless someone makes a specific request. So when I read your post, it sounds to me that you feel your desire to be able to post photos of you attending an event hosted by some one else should trump the hosts desire to have no photos of an event they hosted be in social media.

I've read this sentiment many times. One poster here in another thread said they would refuse to attend an event if they were told they couldn't post photos.

No, actually, I felt like my desire to post a nice picture of myself and my girlfriend dressed nicely, with no reference to the event itself, was overridden by the happy couple's desire to keep their event off social media. Could I have posted that? Probably, but I felt that would still be going against their request that no photos period be posted.

I think they have the right to make this request.
>sigh< Yet another reason to elope. If i want to invite my friends to come share in a special day with me, while i feed and entertain them, then I come off as some kind of witch because i don't want pictures of it posted on the internet?  >:(

Is there a way to put that in the invitation?
If you absolutely must post pictures on social media, and will feel put out and think bad thoughts at me if requested not to, please do send regrets. Ta.

That would really tick me off. You want to post pretty pictures of yourself? Host your own event and do as you please.

Please show me where I said that they didn't have the right to make the request.  I think it's perfectly reasonable to control your own social media presence.  But leaving your guests to wonder if they can take pictures of themselves, with nothing indicating they were at your event is not polite.  Just say, "Please, no photos of the ceremony or identifying photos from the reception."

And per the italicized, sure that's your right to put something like that in your invitation.  If you want to look like a drama llama.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2013, 10:56:00 AM by thedudeabides »

Twik

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #48 on: May 18, 2013, 11:03:44 AM »
And per the italicized, sure that's your right to put something like that in your invitation.  If you want to look like a drama llama.

Pod.

Here's what I think is the best, in fact the only, way to prevent your wedding photos from showin up on someone else's Facebook - Find out how many of your friends and relatives have Facebook accounts. Do not invite any of them to your wedding.

Other than this, you cannot control it, and you will be much happier if you do not even try. Your wedding is not a Broadway production under copyright, and people will share photos of it. If they're not saying nasty things about it, why worry?
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perpetua

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #49 on: May 18, 2013, 11:15:04 AM »
ETA: And yes, I would have been extremely irritated if people had posted photos of my wedding on Facebook. It would be like if they posted them on a giant billboard on a major highway without my permission.  I don't really want tons of strangers seeing my photos.

Well, they're not 'your' photos if you didn't take them.

General now, not directed at you: I think you can have those feelings about photos from your wedding that you are in, but photos of people *at* your wedding in which you don't appear? No. Not yours to dictate what to do with, IMO, especially if you didn't even take them.

hobish

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #50 on: May 20, 2013, 02:24:57 PM »

Whoa, you two - is the name calling really neccessary??  :o
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amylouky

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #51 on: May 23, 2013, 01:16:36 PM »
Well.. I'm of the opinion that you should get permission from people who are in photos to post them, period.. not just weddings.  So, yes, I think it is rude to post pictures of the wedding ceremony and even parts of the reception before the happy couple has a chance to. Now.. pictures of you and your sweetie dancing at the reception? I think that's fine. But pictures of the ceremony, cake-cutting, first dance, toasts, etc. should be up to the bride and groom to post.
It may sound silly, but I think a big reason for this is that the first pictures posted get the most attention. So, if I post a picture of my sister's wedding, I know our mutual friends are going to "like" it and comment on it, and all the fanfare. If enough people do this, by the time my sister gets a chance to post hers, it's just not as special, and a lot of people would probably figure they'd already commented on my pics, so wouldn't bother. So I think I'd be robbing my sister of her limelight.
Also wanted to point out that the OP actually referred to pics of the bride and groom themselves, not of some of the situations that have been brought up in this thread. I think it's reasonable.

Quote
The female host (Mercedes) mentioned this as a "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook, and naturally I was curious about what everyone here thinks.  Mercedes says that posting pictures of a bride and groom on FB is an etiquette issue, and the "rule" is that NO ONE in attendance at the wedding should post pictures of the B/G until the B/G have posted pictures themselves... and then, it's open season.


« Last Edit: May 23, 2013, 01:19:03 PM by amylouky »

MrsJWine

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Re: A "Cardinal Rule" of Facebook?
« Reply #52 on: May 23, 2013, 05:29:01 PM »
Yeah, there's definitely a difference to me between a picture AT the wedding or reception and a picture OF the wedding or reception. I think pictures at the wedding are completely fine to post, especially if it just looks like a snapshot of people at an unidentifiable party. I think, say, pictures of the kiss at the altar would be a bit presumptuous to post on Facebook without knowing how the couple felt about it.


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