Author Topic: Must I B My Own B?  (Read 5284 times)

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Waterlight

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2013, 01:57:51 AM »
I'm a recovering alcoholic (11 years sober as of this post!) and I've found sometimes at BYOB parties the only way I can be sure there's something there for me to drink is if I bring it myself.

Depending on the party, I might bring pop, a homemade punch (cranberry juice + ginger ale + lime slices), or some kind of sparkling cider (apple or pear).
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WillyNilly

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2013, 10:37:51 AM »
In my circle, we're all in our late 30's to early 50's, most hovering at 38-40.  We have a problem (I was literally just talking about this yesterday with a friend while discussing plans for a Memorial Day party) - those of us that host, and there's really only a handful of us, have an over abundance of liquor. Good liquor. And usually at parties tons of beer. And very few sodas and mixers.

This happens because the folks who don't host (small apartments, intimidated of hosting, etc) tend to over compensate by always bringing a big bottle of premium liquor or a case of beer. And then leaving it. And this cycle has been going on for years. Sure everyone drinks some. And they encourage others to drink some. But we're not 20 anymore - we can't even as a group of 25 people drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels, 2 bottles of Sky, a magnum of Cap't Morgans and a quart of Johnny Black, along with 3 cases of beer... plus the 20 assorted bottles left over from the previous parties.

So in my circle, bringing mixers is very much welcome and would not be seen as cheap in the least. Especially something novel or fancy - a big bunch of mint, some simple syrup and several limes - YUM mojitos! Blood orange juice - oooh fancy screwdrivers! Pomegrante juice and lime syrup, coconut milk and pineapple juice, etc.

I once brought a jug of pre-mixed banana juice, tangerine juice and strawberry-banana V8 Splash, and a jar of maraschino cherries - people loved it. They mixed it with vodka, they mixed it with rum, they mixed it with gin, and some people jut drank it with ice and no alcohol; it was fruity and unexpected and ridiculously easy. I literally bought a quart of Looza banana juice and a 16 ounce of each the V8 and the tangerine, and just poured them all together into a half gallon pitcher. Cost less then $10, took less then 2 minutes, and was a huge hit.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2013, 10:39:59 AM by WillyNilly »

NyaChan

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2013, 10:47:10 AM »
My sister was always a hit at her med school parties because she would bring a mix of simple syrup, blueberries, mint, and lime juice.  She'd drink hers with ginger ale (doesn't drink alcohol), and everyone else would add rum or vodka.  In my group, we usually say - I am serving [insert drinks], if you have something else you prefer, please feel free to bring it.  Usually people just stick to what is being served or bring a bottle of wine/six-pack for themselves (will share on request).  I would not find it odd if they brought a drink only for themselves, but I would find it odd if they brought nothing and then drank what others brought. 

Basically, if you are drinking alcohol, bring enough for yourself and don't worry about buying a large amount for everyone.  But don't show up empty-handed and then drink what others brought.

Bijou

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2013, 10:08:48 PM »
I have never heard of BYOB to mean anything except to bring your own booze.  A host should be providing pop, water  and other beverages.

This is my experience as well. I was really surprised by guihong's post, because I couldn't understand how she got that from BYOB.... Until I realized her B was for Bottle, not for Booze ;)
My B is for bottle as well.  We all knew, though, that your bottle could contain anything, from booze to soda to fruit juice, to tea to water.  Sort of sounds like it means B is for Beverage?
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Sharnita

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2013, 10:24:52 PM »
One thing we've discussed in other threads is that some people want or even need diet pop with no caffine, regular pop with no caffine, diet pop with caffine, regular pop with caffine, soft drinks that are sweet but not pop, soft drinks that aren't sweet at all ... I can see why a host would encourage people to bring their own drink, regardless of what the choice might be.

Rohanna

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2013, 10:54:27 PM »
I think maybe BYOB is being confused with potluck? I would expect to bring alcohol (or non-alcoholic drinks if I was fussy/had restrictions) but be provided with water and usually some kind of pop. I've told guests to bring their own protein to a BBQ if they couldn't eat what was served (I'm happy to provide for vegetarians/vegans but many are very specific about type/brand of substitute and I can't/won't buy 4 different packs of hotdogs that I won't eat later) but wouldn't expect someone to bring a side to share unless they'd asked me beforehand.
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LadyR

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #21 on: May 06, 2013, 04:19:22 AM »
In my circle, we're all in our late 30's to early 50's, most hovering at 38-40.  We have a problem (I was literally just talking about this yesterday with a friend while discussing plans for a Memorial Day party) - those of us that host, and there's really only a handful of us, have an over abundance of liquor. Good liquor. And usually at parties tons of beer. And very few sodas and mixers.

This happens because the folks who don't host (small apartments, intimidated of hosting, etc) tend to over compensate by always bringing a big bottle of premium liquor or a case of beer. And then leaving it. And this cycle has been going on for years. Sure everyone drinks some. And they encourage others to drink some. But we're not 20 anymore - we can't even as a group of 25 people drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels, 2 bottles of Sky, a magnum of Cap't Morgans and a quart of Johnny Black, along with 3 cases of beer... plus the 20 assorted bottles left over from the previous parties.

So in my circle, bringing mixers is very much welcome and would not be seen as cheap in the least. Especially something novel or fancy - a big bunch of mint, some simple syrup and several limes - YUM mojitos! Blood orange juice - oooh fancy screwdrivers! Pomegrante juice and lime syrup, coconut milk and pineapple juice, etc.

I once brought a jug of pre-mixed banana juice, tangerine juice and strawberry-banana V8 Splash, and a jar of maraschino cherries - people loved it. They mixed it with vodka, they mixed it with rum, they mixed it with gin, and some people jut drank it with ice and no alcohol; it was fruity and unexpected and ridiculously easy. I literally bought a quart of Looza banana juice and a 16 ounce of each the V8 and the tangerine, and just poured them all together into a half gallon pitcher. Cost less then $10, took less then 2 minutes, and was a huge hit.

This is the same in my circle. Unelss they want to drink something in particular, I actively encourage people not to bring their own booze as I have lots of hard liquor on hand. Most of my friends are itne same position and as we are in our 30s, not our early 20s, even at parties very little of it gets consumed and some more is always added.

When we were younger, drank more and poorer,  BYOB parits were more common, but even then the practice was to leave the leftovers and put the, in a box for the next party. That box was well used and well travelled for a while and someone bringing a bottle of mix instead of another bottle wouldn't hve been looked at weirdly, unless they did it every single time.


MariaE

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #22 on: May 06, 2013, 05:07:29 AM »
I have never heard of BYOB to mean anything except to bring your own booze.  A host should be providing pop, water  and other beverages.

This is my experience as well. I was really surprised by guihong's post, because I couldn't understand how she got that from BYOB.... Until I realized her B was for Bottle, not for Booze ;)
My B is for bottle as well.  We all knew, though, that your bottle could contain anything, from booze to soda to fruit juice, to tea to water.  Sort of sounds like it means B is for Beverage?

That's probably the correct "translation" actually. I've only ever encountered it in New Zealand, so my experience is very limited.
 
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bopper

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2013, 09:09:42 AM »
OP:

For you I would bring a dish you could eat since it will be more meat oriented.  Or bring some veggie burgers.
For the beverage, bring something you like to drink...be it soda, mixers, whatever.
If, for this occasion, people OFFER you alcohol then feel free to drink some of it whilst you are sharing what you bring.
I think the other e-hellions are saying not to make a habit of this.

lurkerwisp

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2013, 12:04:25 PM »
The way our circle of friends tends to be is BYOB does mean bring your own booze - the host will usually have coke, iced tea, and water, but if there's something specific you want definitely bring it.  I'm usually the designated driver, so DH and I would bring a mixed 6-pack of beer/hard cider and a bottle of juice or cream soda because I'm avoiding caffeine.

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2013, 01:54:34 PM »
I must have grown up in a whole different world.  To me, BYOB always meant 'bring your own bottle', and 'bottle' could be anything, from water to alcohol.   For the record, I have NEVER brought alcohol to a party, because I never went to those kinds of parties.  I'm not a teetotoler, but I just don't drink at parties (usually because I have to drive home).  It's never been an issue with my friends.

So.  If you're not going to eat, don't worry about bringing food (I wouldn't), but bring something that you'd like to drink.  Anything, even if it's water.
 

BeagleMommy

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2013, 02:53:22 PM »
OP, you could easily bring a bottle of soda, sparkling water, etc.  Since you don't eat meat I think it would be appropriate (especially since the invitation mentioned if you didn't want what was offered to bring something else) to bring veggie burgers or portobello mushrooms.

Rohanna

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2013, 04:43:56 PM »
Yes but there is a big difference between bringing something non-alcoholic because that's what you'd prefer to drink versus bringing something to add other people's alcohol to. I'd find that rather presumptive without a previous discussion on the part of the group (ie- hey, next time do you want me to bring fantastic-homemade-margarita-mix and limes since we're always low?) to have someone start adding my Vodka to their orange juice without at least offering to trade.
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baglady

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2013, 09:29:16 PM »
I've seen BYOB interpreted different ways, depending on the time period and the people involved.

Bring Your Own Booze = We're not providing alcohol but you're welcome to bring your favorite beer/wine/whiskey/rum/whatever.

Bring Your Own Bottle = We'll provide mixers, garnishes, etc.; you just need to bring your favorite liquor.

Bring Your Own Beverage = Bring whatever you and your family prefer to drink -- beer, wine, liquor, soda, lemonade, iced tea, whatever.

All of these carry the message that

(a) the hosts are not in a position to accommodate everyone's drink preferences, so they're giving guests the opportunity to supply what they prefer, and

(b) the key words in BYOB are "Your Own." The guest is free to share the beverage(s) he brings, but nobody will have a problem with him keeping them close by for his own consumption. And if there really is a "glut of alcohol" (or even if there isn't), it's unlikely anyone will have a problem with Mr./Ms. Didn't-Bring-Booze helping him/herself to a beer or glass of wine from the shared stash.

OP, if you would like to have wine at this party but don't want to break the bank or contribute to a glut, could you approach another guest who likes wine about going in together on a bottle?
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Must I B My Own B?
« Reply #29 on: May 07, 2013, 02:32:02 AM »
I have never heard of BYOB to mean anything except to bring your own booze.  A host should be providing pop, water  and other beverages.

Should, but a host who is mostly worried about the food and the booze (and who is planning more wine and beer than liquor which would involve mixers like soda) may not realize there isn't much of a non-alcoholic option until it's too late.  The last party I was at, I ended up drinking a watermelon-flavored juice box (originally destined for the eight-year-old's lunch) because it was the only non-alcoholic beverage in the house.  The host had bought a 2-liter of Sprite, but that was used up quickly as a mixer and there was nothing else available except tap water.  If I had known ahead of time, I would have brought my own 20-oz soda or stopped at a fast food place for a comically oversized cup.