Author Topic: Dear Prudie on tattoos  (Read 6042 times)

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LadyDyani

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #30 on: May 09, 2013, 01:06:44 PM »
I like Dan Savage's take on it - that every question is hypothetical except to one person.  Yes, that means sometimes he doesn't answer the specific question asked, but often he's addressing something bigger (a mindset that caused the question to be asked in the first place, an unasked question that's more important than the asked one, etc).  People in the comments section often jump on him for not including a specific aspect of an answer, but really, he just doesn't have the time or the space to fully evaluate everyone's situation.

(He also writes a lot more interesting of a column than Emily does, but a lot of that's due to the NSFW subject matter!)

Dan Savage is great.  I never miss a column, though I am about 9 episodes behind on the podcast.  He also has fun highlighting Prudie's column and pointing out where she was wrong.  I also get the SLLOTD on my phone.  :-)

As for the tattoo issue.  I didn't tell my parents when I got my tattoo, but they did see it afterwards.  Hard to miss if I wear a sleeveless shirt. Being over a foot wide, they'd have to be blind to miss it.  And no, my dad didn't like it, but I don't live my life according to my dad's wishes.  (If I did, I'm fairly certain hubby and I wouldn't have children.)  I got my tattoo because I wanted it, and it has meaning for me.  My parent's wants didn't enter into the decision.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

Allyson

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2013, 01:49:46 PM »
Also, her jumping in to say she doesn't approve of tattoos because Reasons is...not new information. I feel like here, sure, we might say 'instead of figuring out how best to do X, you should do Y instead' because we feel like, maybe the OP has genuinely not considered that point of view. But it's highly unlikely the letter-writer hasn't heard the opinion 'some people hate tattoos and think it will look stupid when you get old' before. It's not helpful, because it's not giving the LW a new perspective. It's just stating one side of a controversy.

It just rings to me of all those people who act as though they're being really unique and transgressive by having 'old fashioned' or 'traditional' values. It's not as though not liking tattoos is a shocking, uncommon thing.

aiki

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2013, 06:14:44 PM »
"You may not believe it, but if everything goes right, you will eventually be as old as your parents. Imagine Mom or Dad with a turtle on their clavicle or barbed wire around their biceps."

I've seen my dad every day of my life with paratrooper tats. Amazingly, it has neither dampened my respect for him nor made him a terrible person. It is not an embarrassment, it's part of who he is.

Her advice bites.

When I read her rather immature and thoughtless "Old people with tats are gross" opinion, I immediately thought of this project: http://www.kylecassidy.com/warpaint/index.html .
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

LadyDyani

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #33 on: May 09, 2013, 08:10:19 PM »
When I read her rather immature and thoughtless "Old people with tats are gross" opinion, I immediately thought of this project: http://www.kylecassidy.com/warpaint/index.html .

Thank you for the link aiki, that is fascinating.  I may buy the book for hubby.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

LadyL

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #34 on: May 09, 2013, 09:02:03 PM »
"You may not believe it, but if everything goes right, you will eventually be as old as your parents. Imagine Mom or Dad with a turtle on their clavicle or barbed wire around their biceps."

I've seen my dad every day of my life with paratrooper tats. Amazingly, it has neither dampened my respect for him nor made him a terrible person. It is not an embarrassment, it's part of who he is.

Her advice bites.

When I read her rather immature and thoughtless "Old people with tats are gross" opinion, I immediately thought of this project: http://www.kylecassidy.com/warpaint/index.html .

I love the guy who looks to be in his 70s-80s with his medals tattooed over his heart. Anyone who thinks that's just "wrinkly and gross" is ignoring the meaning tattoos can have for people.

Thipu1

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #35 on: May 10, 2013, 07:35:45 PM »
"You may not believe it, but if everything goes right, you will eventually be as old as your parents. Imagine Mom or Dad with a turtle on their clavicle or barbed wire around their biceps."

I've seen my dad every day of my life with paratrooper tats. Amazingly, it has neither dampened my respect for him nor made him a terrible person. It is not an embarrassment, it's part of who he is.

Her advice bites.

Amen, Winterlight.

Like attitudes about many things, attitudes about tattoos are generational.  In my parent's generation tattoos were only for sailors.  In my generation, tattoos were pretty much limited to bikers and military people.

Today, it's very different and tattoos are far more common. By the time the letter-writer gets old, wrinkly and using a walker, he'll have plenty of tattooed company.  Children, Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren won't find it at all odd that Grandma has a big butterfly across her shoulders or that Great Grandpa has full sleeves.  That will be seen as just something done in their generation. 

The letter-writer is of age.  If he wants a tattoo, he should get one, or two, or three.  He just has to think about the ink he really wants to live with. 

nolechica

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #36 on: May 11, 2013, 06:27:41 AM »
My parents aren't thrilled with my ink, but I didn't hide it from them. My sister did for a few years though.  My advice on what the LW should do would vary based on location of tat more than whether LW is male or female. Some areas you'd have to go to further effort to hide, especially this time of year.

Calistoga

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #37 on: May 11, 2013, 05:00:26 PM »
I'm just thinking of all the things it used to be "weird" for older people to do- drive themselves places in cars, or wear specific styles of clothing, watch certain shows, listen to certain music... etc. Now it's not even kind of noteworthy if an older lady loves the beatles. Yes, someday that 20 something will be a 60 something... and it will be OK.

It's also rather presumptuous on her part that the LW's parents object to tattoo's because of their age honestly. I'm sure LW parents would love to hear that their opinions are just because they're old fuddy duddies.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #38 on: May 11, 2013, 07:02:11 PM »
I'm just thinking of all the things it used to be "weird" for older people to do- drive themselves places in cars, or wear specific styles of clothing, watch certain shows, listen to certain music... etc. Now it's not even kind of noteworthy if an older lady loves the beatles. Yes, someday that 20 something will be a 60 something... and it will be OK.

DH and I have joked if they ever cart us off o the nursing home, well still be playing D&D.

Thipu1

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Re: Dear Prudie on tattoos
« Reply #39 on: May 11, 2013, 07:18:53 PM »
I'm just thinking of all the things it used to be "weird" for older people to do- drive themselves places in cars, or wear specific styles of clothing, watch certain shows, listen to certain music... etc. Now it's not even kind of noteworthy if an older lady loves the beatles. Yes, someday that 20 something will be a 60 something... and it will be OK.

DH and I have joked if they ever cart us off o the nursing home, well still be playing D&D.

...and you're likely to find enough other D & D players to form a club.

MIL is very traditional.  When we visit her she cautions us to be quiet in the hallways because 'old people do not like loud noises at night'.  I think MIL may be losing her hearing because we can easily
 hear sounds of the Grateful Dead or The Who leaking out from under the closed doors of apartments.