Author Topic: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess  (Read 5741 times)

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BeagleMommy

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2013, 02:30:22 PM »
An 8-year-old is smart enough to know that it is wrong to put food into clothing pockets.  These children should have been told by all and sundry that their behavior was inappropriate and they were to stop immediately.  This should have been done BEFORE the giant mess occurred.

This was chaos.  Pure and simple.  If I were hosting another event I would not invite the parents of these brats and I would tell them why.  Politely of course.

Amanita

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2013, 02:49:29 PM »
Yeah, my parents would have killed me if I had done anything like that as a kid, because they taught me better. I can't believe somebody didn't step in and say something before things got that out of hand. And yes, I'll second that the kids and those "parents" need to be uninvited to the upcoming event, like yesterday.

Venus193

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2013, 02:52:01 PM »
No way would behavior like that be tolerated in my family.  My mother and her generation would have been on the warpath.

*inviteseller

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2013, 04:24:13 PM »
I would call each offending family and tell them their children are uninvited from the party and if they show up at the party with them, they will be turned away.  I know a couple with kids like this...they can't figure out why they don't get invited anywhere.

Bluenomi

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2013, 08:16:57 PM »
I can't believe people who don't bother to parent their children! I wouldn't be inviting them anywhere again and making it very clear why

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2013, 08:42:36 PM »
I also wonder why people didn't speak up during the behaviour.

Because far too many people have the idea that if the parent is allowing it there is nothing to be done. Honestly, if a child is doing this type of stuff - I would tell the kids to knock off and if the parents don't like it, tough. You don't get two chances to assault someone.

Agreed.  If a child is getting in my space, bothering me, or messing with my stuff, I absolutely reserve the right to tell the child to leave me or my stuff alone and go away.  If the child's parent or guardian doesn't like the idea of me telling the child off, then they should have been more proactive in keeping the child under control.

I come from a large family with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins (75 people at Christmas dinner is the norm for us) and when I was a kid, if I misbehaved, I received the correction from whoever caught me. Whether it was my parents or an aunt or uncle or grandparent, if an adult told me to knock it off, I knocked it off.
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kherbert05

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2013, 09:36:50 PM »
I think that the households with the misbehaving kids should not be invited. If they were invited before the funeral they should be told they are not welcome.  Or that if they show up with the kids the restaurant will turn them away. (I think the restaurant should ban those households for life) If they cut off the family really what is the loss. (My parents cut off or severely limited contact with certain badly behaved branches of the family. I'm thankful that they protected us - especially hearing stories some of you all have to tell.
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delabela

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2013, 11:53:05 PM »
However, the kids running wild and damaging the restaurant is not acceptable.  The older children
are often the leaders and, if they're allowed to do it,  the younger ones will follow.  Once it starts, wild behavior will escalate until it reaches the level in the OP.  Parents have to step in at the first instance and quell the rebellion.   

I totally agree with this - especially if it was later in the evening and the kids were getting a little loopy.  Groups of kiddos can sometimes bring out the crazy in all of them.

I also have to say that the expectations for the kids may have been off - if this was this a late meal after a day of having to deal with highly emotional people, then the parents should have anticipated that the kids might need to be someplace they could blow off steam rather than out at a restaurant. 

Iris

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2013, 02:43:45 AM »
This story seems a bit off to me. It seems really unlikely to have a whole generation of horrors when the preceding generation is aware of the problems and presumably taught the (now) parents better. I mean my brother sometimes makes parenting decisions I disagree with but the basic principles instilled by our mother are still there.

However, assuming the story to be true, I would hold the anniversary party and disinvite the entire offending families. After all, they cost their hosts a substantial amount of money for cleaning and repairs and then refused to pay. Why would you have people like that back?
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*inviteseller

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #24 on: May 09, 2013, 10:28:16 AM »
This story seems a bit off to me. It seems really unlikely to have a whole generation of horrors when the preceding generation is aware of the problems and presumably taught the (now) parents better. I mean my brother sometimes makes parenting decisions I disagree with but the basic principles instilled by our mother are still there.

However, assuming the story to be true, I would hold the anniversary party and disinvite the entire offending families. After all, they cost their hosts a substantial amount of money for cleaning and repairs and then refused to pay. Why would you have people like that back?

It doesn't seem off to me simply because I have had the displeasure of seeing it.  Kids who were raised correctly and had great manners and were a joy to be around.  Then they have kids that are so bad you dread seeing them anywhere in public.  There are too many parents out there now (I see it at school events and with groups my kids have been involved in) who have fully bought into the new theory that saying no to snookywookums will destroy their psyche, to many parents, when confronted with their childs bad behavior shout "Not My Child!!!"  and so many parents who think their kids have rainbows and unicorns coming out of their bums, when in fact they are the most obnoxious self centered brats.  I am considered among the other parents as being the super strict one..why?  Because my DD's are not allowed to run through stores or restaurants  begging and crying for me to buy them things (2 kids and only 1 public meltdown!) , my kids are expected to say please and thank you, they are not allowed to be little bullies but show empathy..ect.  Are my kids perfect?  Oh heck no!  The older one is a boundary pusher, but I am never afraid to send them out in public  and if there is an unacceptable behavior I don't explain it away (boys will be boys is a former friends favorite line when her son was being so obnoxious in public I wanted to crawl away), I correct it quickly and quietly.  These parents in the letter are lazy and rude to think that others wanted their brats inflicted upon them.

GSNW

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #25 on: May 09, 2013, 02:46:07 PM »
This story seems a bit off to me. It seems really unlikely to have a whole generation of horrors when the preceding generation is aware of the problems and presumably taught the (now) parents better. I mean my brother sometimes makes parenting decisions I disagree with but the basic principles instilled by our mother are still there.

However, assuming the story to be true, I would hold the anniversary party and disinvite the entire offending families. After all, they cost their hosts a substantial amount of money for cleaning and repairs and then refused to pay. Why would you have people like that back?

It doesn't seem off to me simply because I have had the displeasure of seeing it.  Kids who were raised correctly and had great manners and were a joy to be around.  Then they have kids that are so bad you dread seeing them anywhere in public.  There are too many parents out there now (I see it at school events and with groups my kids have been involved in) who have fully bought into the new theory that saying no to snookywookums will destroy their psyche, to many parents, when confronted with their childs bad behavior shout "Not My Child!!!"  and so many parents who think their kids have rainbows and unicorns coming out of their bums, when in fact they are the most obnoxious self centered brats.  I am considered among the other parents as being the super strict one..why?  Because my DD's are not allowed to run through stores or restaurants  begging and crying for me to buy them things (2 kids and only 1 public meltdown!) , my kids are expected to say please and thank you, they are not allowed to be little bullies but show empathy..ect.  Are my kids perfect?  Oh heck no!  The older one is a boundary pusher, but I am never afraid to send them out in public  and if there is an unacceptable behavior I don't explain it away (boys will be boys is a former friends favorite line when her son was being so obnoxious in public I wanted to crawl away), I correct it quickly and quietly.  These parents in the letter are lazy and rude to think that others wanted their brats inflicted upon them.

I completely agree.  Parenting is hard work.  I don't necessarily mean the act of bringing a kid in to the world, which is hard work of course, but actively P A R E N T I N G is hard, I can see that, and I'm not even a parent! 

Many parents - too many - take the path of least resistance.  Want to avoid a meltdown?  Give the kid anything they want.  Hard to rein them in and get them under control?  Ignore the behavior, pretend it isn't that bad.  Time-consuming to monitor what they're doing when they're not with you?  Just don't worry about it! 

TootsNYC

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #26 on: May 10, 2013, 05:21:04 PM »
I think those kids were desperate for boundaries.

Honestly, the aggression (poking with forks, smashing a potato into the pocket fabric) is so extreme that there had to be a part of them that was screaming, "Stop me! Set boundaries! Make me feel safe. Make me feel like you're in charge, so I don't have to be!"

I'd be calling the parents of those kids and saying, "I'm sorry to say that I'm rescinding your invitation to the party. I simply cannot host your family given how your children acted. Goodbye."

But I also would not have let as much of it go unchecked. I wouldn't have sat there while someone was crawling under the table.

hyzenthlay

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Re: Annie's Mailbox 5/8/13: Restaurant Mess
« Reply #27 on: May 10, 2013, 06:45:20 PM »
Depending on the timing I'd probably have turned a blind eye to crawling under the table (given it sounds like a private or separate room, 3 to 8 years can get kinda buggy if kept out too long) but the rest of it is actively endangering people or damaging property.

I can't really fathom that the family at large agrees that the behaviors were bad but no one bothered to say anything. Even if the adults without children didn't feel they should step in, many parents have no problem issuing obvious corrections to any children present . . . in part because it gives their own kids bad ideas.

Are all the parents somehow spineless even though the rest of the adults recognize over the top behavior?