Author Topic: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.  (Read 7075 times)

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DottyG

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2013, 01:44:03 AM »
Quote
While you might have been frustrated by having to wait, depending on where you live and current traffic rules, you were in the wrong where I live.  You should never follow directly behind someone making a turn through opposing traffic.  It is very dangerous to do so as you may not see a rapidly approaching vehicle and risk getting T-boned.

You should also leave enough space and time as not to hit someone or get stuck in a lane in case a vehicle stops suddenly.  You have no way of knowing why a car stops suddenly.  There very well could have been someone that ran out in front of his car and by going around like that, you could have accidentally killed someone.  I've seen a car, bicyclist and a pedestrian hit in similar incidents.

I realize the OP has acknowledged she made a mistake. But I have to say that her story does give me chills. What she did was very dangerous, and I'm glad she was ok. I really do hope you're able to see the above posts as they're intended, I'm sure - to caution you that this really was a serious mistake. Please be careful and don't do it again. Wait for other cars to completely clear the entrance before you start turning.

And I agree with the others that he should not have confronted you in the store. In a way, he was taking a chance that you weren't someone that would escalate things because he did that. Almost a reverse "don't engage the crazy." You're not crazy. But he took a chance on that and was lucky you weren't.  Some people would have gotten angry and possibly done something back.


Slartibartfast

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2013, 03:39:10 AM »
I will say, the "don't follow too closely" also depends a lot on where you live.  In some larger cities, NOT following the car ahead of you would result in you getting rear-ended from the driver behind you who assumed all three of you would be able to make the turn  :-\  You should always try to ensure you won't get stuck sitting in an intersection, of course, but in heavy traffic there's always a risk of that happening - and departing from the driving style the other people on the road expect can mean putting yourself in danger as well.

Curious Cat

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2013, 07:48:36 AM »
I do think you were wrong in this case.  You also probably made the clerk quite uncomfortable by involving him/her in your fight.  Since you were a customer, s/he likely couldn't disagree with you outright -- but I think the answer was very diplomatic!

I agree - that poor cashier was really caught between a Rick and a hard place

Deetee

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2013, 07:56:53 AM »
If it was not turning into a parking lot then following closely would be prudent thing to do. If the driver in front is turning onto a road and you have a good view that there are no obstructions that I'd the only thing to do if you don't want to get honked at.
This was tricky as it looked like it would be a clear shot. I couldn't say I wouldn't make the same mistake. I actually think that first driver should find another entrance if at all possible as his actions were also dangerous.

ashleyw34

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2013, 08:01:53 AM »
I had another driver confront me yesterday and I know it feels ... unpleasant. Hope you are feeling better OP.

Zilla

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2013, 09:00:51 AM »
I live in a hilly area and used to smaller cars (with gas prices now, they are numerous) stopping to get on the hilly portion slowly.  As you acknowledged, you were in the wrong to follow him so closely unless the light was a green arrow. (which is wasn't since you were worried about oncoming cars)  But what he did was worse.  He shouldn't have confronted you like that.




gen xer

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2013, 10:50:41 AM »

That guy was a total jerk for confronting OP especially when he had some fault in the matter.  Yes I know you have to slow down so the undercarriage of the car doesn't scrape on the ground ( a most awful sound ) but you don't grind to a near halt when there are cars following you trying to make the turn.

Sometimes you're put in a predicament where you are forced to make a split second decision without the luxury of any time to consider the options.  I probably would have done the same thing rather than be a sitting duck as oncoming traffic bore down.

Like I said before I am really careful now about making sure I can clear the intersection or turn since I have been in the same situation ( very sweat inducing ) but the first driver bears some responsibility for impeding traffic the way he did and to confront the OP was extremely rude.

Bookgirl

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2013, 01:50:47 PM »
I was confronted by another driver last year and it stills makes me feel all funny.  He drove past me in a parking lot and I turned left into the parking spot he had just driven past.  He stopped his truck, got out and started yelling at me that he was going to back into the spot I had just pulled into and I should have known that!  It was very disconcerting and in the moment, you really don't know how to handle it.  I saw him and his wife in the store a little later and quickly ducked down another isle. 

I'm sorry he did that to you OP! 
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2013, 02:45:38 PM »
In my city, we see what the OP did often. If your trying to cross a 4 lane street in heavy traffic you take advantage of an opening. And the general expectation is that the first driver will continue moving forward, not stop. Sort of like an escalator. You don't expect the person in front of you to stop when then get off to decide which way to turn. You expect them to realize other people are getting off behind them and they need to get out of the way.

But every few years, I need to have a problem to remind me not everyone follows the general guidelines. Last month I was entering a large parking center. Once you enter, you can go straight, right or left. The woman in front of me turned left into the center and then stopped and started looking around and I could tell she was trying to decide which way to go. Thankfully, no one was approaching in the right hand lane since my bumper was hanging out in the street. But I was irritated she thought the best time to decide which way to go was once she was blocking the entrance.

The guy was very rude for tracking you down.

DottyG

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #24 on: May 08, 2013, 03:16:20 PM »
Quote
In my city, we see what the OP did often. If your trying to cross a 4 lane street in heavy traffic you take advantage of an opening. And the general expectation is that the first driver will continue moving forward, not stop. Sort of like an escalator. You don't expect the person in front of you to stop when then get off to decide which way to turn. You expect them to realize other people are getting off behind them and they need to get out of the way.

I think the number one rule that every new driver should be taught is "always assume the other drivers around you are complete idiots."  If you drive with the understanding that the person in the other car is going to do something unexpected and possibly dangerous, you can be a more defensive driver.  You need to always be aware of those around you and plan for what you'll do when they do something weird and unexpected.

(As a followup to that, I'm not immune to forgetting my rule as well.  About a week or so ago, I was about to go through a green light.  A car coming the other way decided to turn in front of me (light just turned, but it was red for him).  We almost had an accident.  I should have been thinking ahead and realizing that someone might decide to turn on the red.  And I should have noticed him sooner.  Fortunately, I must have an amazing guardian angel that protected me from hitting him.  I came so close.)
 
 
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 03:19:19 PM by DottyG »

Otterpop

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2013, 03:21:34 PM »
I was confronted by another driver last year and it stills makes me feel all funny.  He drove past me in a parking lot and I turned left into the parking spot he had just driven past.  He stopped his truck, got out and started yelling at me that he was going to back into the spot I had just pulled into and I should have known that!  It was very disconcerting and in the moment, you really don't know how to handle it.  I saw him and his wife in the store a little later and quickly ducked down another isle. 

I'm sorry he did that to you OP!

I had a guy do this just yesterday, he wanted to back into a driveway he'd just passed.  He stopped dead in front of me on a residential street then started backing into me, yelling out the window.  I just backed up then drove by looking astounded.  He pulled up alongside me in traffic a few minutes later (must have just wanted to make a 3 point turn?) still yelling.  I did not look over but pulled out my iPhone, leaned it on the steering wheel with the lens pointing at him.  I was just about to start recording when he took off.  Strangest encounter I've had in a very long time.  I never said a word the entire time, but I was thinking of this thread... :o

peach2play

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2013, 07:54:25 PM »
IMHO the other driver wasn't rude.  He had every right to slow down, you made two unsafe decisions, and then when your bad behavior was called to attention, you tried to make yourself the victim instead of taking responsibility and apologizing to him.  "Sorry but" is not an apology.  You were unsafe, and then rude.  He didn't even cuss you out which shows a lot of restraint on his part.  If you've done something wrong that impacts someone else, you apologize not JADE.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #27 on: May 08, 2013, 07:56:07 PM »
IMHO the other driver wasn't rude.  He had every right to slow down, you made two unsafe decisions, and then when your bad behavior was called to attention, you tried to make yourself the victim instead of taking responsibility and apologizing to him.  "Sorry but" is not an apology.  You were unsafe, and then rude.  He didn't even cuss you out which shows a lot of restraint on his part.  If you've done something wrong that impacts someone else, you apologize not JADE.

Really?  You think it's perfectly polite to approach a complete stranger in a store for that person having driven around you?
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

peach2play

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2013, 08:26:26 PM »
There is a very big difference between going around a turning driver on a two lane road with plenty of room on the shoulder then having to make an emergency move in a parking lot because the OP didn't plan well.  She endangered a great deal of people with her move and the what ifs are endless.  Just because she couldn't see something in the way doesn't mean it didn't exist and she would have had no time to react because she was trying to get out of the way herself. 

I will absolutely politely confront someone about their driving behavior when it endangers myself and others.  I've had enough of my friends killed because of the stupidity of others.  He asked her to have some patience and simply said, "Jeeze, you almost clipped me."  He didn't yell at her, he didn't use extreme profanity, he simply asked her to have some patience and to pay more attention.  Not wrong.  If the roles were reversed, I'll bet we'd be congratulating her on having a shiny spine. 

The OP didn't even really think she had made a mistake until it was pointed out to her here.  Now, she'll probably never make the same mistake again.  He made an impact and that's why I speak up.  If me speaking up makes the other driver uncomfortable but a more aware and a safer driver, why is that wrong?  People get away with bad behavior all the time because no one speaks up.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 08:33:00 PM by peach2play »

White Lotus

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Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2013, 08:40:44 PM »
Anybody been to LA recently?  As Slartibartfast pointed out, there are places where multiple cars normally and routinely scoot through openings.  Everybody knows that happens, and the first driver in the chain would never dream of stopping like that.  Their traffic customs terrify me, but they seem to work for the people who live there, and if you drive there, you'd better learn them.  Cut the OP a break.  The first driver should have been watching his mirror and proceeded up the ramp as quickly as he could and kept his snit fit to himself.