Author Topic: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.  (Read 7179 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5459
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #30 on: May 08, 2013, 09:08:22 PM »
There is a very big difference between going around a turning driver on a two lane road with plenty of room on the shoulder then having to make an emergency move in a parking lot because the OP didn't plan well.  She endangered a great deal of people with her move and the what ifs are endless.  Just because she couldn't see something in the way doesn't mean it didn't exist and she would have had no time to react because she was trying to get out of the way herself. 

I will absolutely politely confront someone about their driving behavior when it endangers myself and others.  I've had enough of my friends killed because of the stupidity of others.  He asked her to have some patience and simply said, "Jeeze, you almost clipped me."  He didn't yell at her, he didn't use extreme profanity, he simply asked her to have some patience and to pay more attention.  Not wrong.  If the roles were reversed, I'll bet we'd be congratulating her on having a shiny spine. 

The OP didn't even really think she had made a mistake until it was pointed out to her here.  Now, she'll probably never make the same mistake again.  He made an impact and that's why I speak up.  If me speaking up makes the other driver uncomfortable but a more aware and a safer driver, why is that wrong?  People get away with bad behavior all the time because no one speaks up.

No, the OP quite plainly stated in her un-edited original post that she realized she was wrong.  It didn't have to be pointed out to her here that what she did was not the brightest.


I also don't think people here would be congratulating her for a shiny spine, they'd be telling her she was lucky she hadn't "engaged the crazy".  Further, it is rude to point out when others are being rude and it is rude to scold another adult, which is what this man did.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

gen xer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 545
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #31 on: May 08, 2013, 09:16:53 PM »
 The OP was between a rock and hard place because if she hadn't taken advantage of the break in traffic then the road rage from everyone stuck behind her would have started.  You have to be able to drive with some expectation of reasonable driving behaviour from others.  Expecting someone not to stop where they are impeding traffic is not unreasonable.
 
We are taught we need to drive defensively, be aware, expect the unexpected and to a point that is a good thing....but it is possible to become literally paralyzed with what-ifs.  You go from being a defensive driver to a timid, indecisive driver who are their own special kind of dangerous.  What if someone runs in front?  What if someone turns when they aren't supposed to?  I could go on and on but you get the idea.

Those timid types often think that they are the safe ones and then have the nerve to berate someone?


WillyNilly

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7490
  • Mmmmm, food
    • The World as I Taste It
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #32 on: May 08, 2013, 09:23:12 PM »
The guy didn't "stop" the OP says "Immediately upon entering the parking lot, First car slowed down to a crawl". Even in their verbal exchange she didn't say "why did you stop?" she asked why he "slowed".

Surely the incline of the entrance ramp can be seen. The OP should have looked at where she was turning into before turning, or if she couldn't see it, be ready to expect anything. Just because her car is small and the incline isn't an issue, its really not news larger, lower cars will scrape transitioning from a flat road to a steep incline - the slowing should not have been such a shock.

jaxsue

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10220
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #33 on: May 08, 2013, 09:35:44 PM »
Anybody been to LA recently?  As Slartibartfast pointed out, there are places where multiple cars normally and routinely scoot through openings.  Everybody knows that happens, and the first driver in the chain would never dream of stopping like that.  Their traffic customs terrify me, but they seem to work for the people who live there, and if you drive there, you'd better learn them.  Cut the OP a break.  The first driver should have been watching his mirror and proceeded up the ramp as quickly as he could and kept his snit fit to himself.

I love in NJ, not far from NYC. It's like that here. I am a capable driver (no accidents ot tickets), but if you don't take advantage of openings in traffic you will be yelled at, flipped off, and perhaps rear-ended. When it comes to traffic congestion, I sometimes envy people who live in less-populated places.

JoieGirl7

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7372
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #34 on: May 08, 2013, 10:53:21 PM »
As far as what he did in the traffic, I don't think the guy did anything wrong.  He has the right to slow to a crawl if he doesn't think he will safely get up the ramp otherwise.

He should not have confronted a stranger in the store afterwards.  That was not only rude but stupid.

LifeOnPluto

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6632
    • Blog
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #35 on: May 08, 2013, 11:05:21 PM »
There is a very big difference between going around a turning driver on a two lane road with plenty of room on the shoulder then having to make an emergency move in a parking lot because the OP didn't plan well.  She endangered a great deal of people with her move and the what ifs are endless.  Just because she couldn't see something in the way doesn't mean it didn't exist and she would have had no time to react because she was trying to get out of the way herself. 

I will absolutely politely confront someone about their driving behavior when it endangers myself and others.  I've had enough of my friends killed because of the stupidity of others.  He asked her to have some patience and simply said, "Jeeze, you almost clipped me."  He didn't yell at her, he didn't use extreme profanity, he simply asked her to have some patience and to pay more attention.  Not wrong.  If the roles were reversed, I'll bet we'd be congratulating her on having a shiny spine

The OP didn't even really think she had made a mistake until it was pointed out to her here.  Now, she'll probably never make the same mistake again.  He made an impact and that's why I speak up.  If me speaking up makes the other driver uncomfortable but a more aware and a safer driver, why is that wrong?  People get away with bad behavior all the time because no one speaks up.


If the roles were reversed, I suspect people would be telling the OP that (1) she should try to be more aware of cars behind her; and (b) she was absolutely in the wrong for confronting the driver in the store.

Also, the OP has acknowledged in her first post that she made a mistake. To answer your question as to why "speaking up" is wrong, I think it's because it's not your job to do so. If you have a problem with another person's driving, the correct thing to do it to report it to the appropriate authority (eg the police or sheriff, etc). Also, I don't think most people would be "uncomfortable, but a more aware and safer driver". I think the vast majority of people would be offended over being confronted like that by some random person, and wouldn't change their behaviour at all.

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28613
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #36 on: May 08, 2013, 11:15:11 PM »
I will absolutely politely confront someone about their driving behavior when it endangers myself and others.  I've had enough of my friends killed because of the stupidity of others.  He asked her to have some patience and simply said, "Jeeze, you almost clipped me."  He didn't yell at her, he didn't use extreme profanity, he simply asked her to have some patience and to pay more attention.  Not wrong.  If the roles were reversed, I'll bet we'd be congratulating her on having a shiny spine. 

The OP didn't even really think she had made a mistake until it was pointed out to her here.  Now, she'll probably never make the same mistake again.  He made an impact and that's why I speak up.  If me speaking up makes the other driver uncomfortable but a more aware and a safer driver, why is that wrong?  People get away with bad behavior all the time because no one speaks up.

First of all, there's no way to "politely confront" someone to tell them that they made a mistake. It will *always* turn into a "what the heck were you THINKING?!?!" encounter, which is never polite.

Second, I was once "confronted" by an elderly couple regarding a mistake I'd made (yes, I'd cut them off - in my defense, it was in the middle of a blizzard in a city I'd never driven in, and I had no idea where the lane markers were under six inches of drift.) As they yelled at me, after following me into a parking lot, all I could think of was, "You people are crazy. What if I were armed and unstable, and took offence to your badgering? You'd be in a lot more trouble than being cut off in bad weather."
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

wolfie

  • I don't know what this is so I am putting random words here
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7077
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #37 on: May 09, 2013, 12:02:12 AM »
Anybody been to LA recently?  As Slartibartfast pointed out, there are places where multiple cars normally and routinely scoot through openings.  Everybody knows that happens, and the first driver in the chain would never dream of stopping like that.  Their traffic customs terrify me, but they seem to work for the people who live there, and if you drive there, you'd better learn them.  Cut the OP a break.  The first driver should have been watching his mirror and proceeded up the ramp as quickly as he could and kept his snit fit to himself.

It is my understanding that whn you are driving you are supposed to be watching the people in front of you and let the people behind you take care of themselves. Yes you should be aware of other cars around you, but there is a reason that a rear-end accident is always the fault of the person who does the rear ending.

DottyG

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18204
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #38 on: May 09, 2013, 02:17:26 AM »
Quote
It is my understanding that whn you are driving you are supposed to be watching the people in front of you and let the people behind you take care of themselves. Yes you should be aware of other cars around you, but there is a reason that a rear-end accident is always the fault of the person who does the rear ending.

I agree with this 110%.


cass2591

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 3358
Re: Gulp. Confronted by angry driver in a store.
« Reply #39 on: May 09, 2013, 02:50:47 AM »
This thread has become redundant and therefore locked.
There is no pie in Nighthawks, which is why it's such a desolate image. ~ Happy Stomach

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. ~ Mark Twain

Adopting a pet won't change the world, but it will change the world for that pet.