Poll

What to do if a relationship breaks up before a wedding, and you've already RSVPd for a guest?

Change my RSVP to one person, and apologize to my friend the bride.
40 (46.5%)
Change my RSVP to one person, apologize to my friend the bride, and offer to cover the cost of my date if she'd already given numbers to the caterer.
28 (32.6%)
Keep my RSVP to two people, and ask a friend to be my date (incurring cost of travel).
15 (17.4%)
Other (suggest idea in comments, please!)
3 (3.5%)

Total Members Voted: 86

Author Topic: s/o uninviting wedding date -- RSVP with a date, then losing the date  (Read 3287 times)

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WillyNilly

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I say you just call the bride or groom and change your RSVP to "1".

While break-ups suck and its hard to think it at the time, remember, for every couple that breaks up between RSVP-time and party, there's probably also a single person who RSVP'd 1 but started dating someone (or who's casual dating relationship becomes more serious). So its always a possibility that the B&G have someone they can extend a last minute invite to anyway "oh Mary how wonderful you and Bill are still going strong! Hey we've had a few cancellations, did you want to change your RSVP to 2? We'd be delighted to have him."

betty

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I think you can just change your rsvp to one, or bring a different plus one if you prefer.

I wouldn't mention the cost of the meal: if the catering numbers are already set, it's a sunk cost. The bride is out the cost of the meal whether the ex-boyfriend eats it or not. (And she pays the same amount even if some people don't eat everything: it's not like she'd go around saying, "Eat your vegetables! We paid for those!")


DavidH

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If the invitation was for Surianne and Guest (unnamed), then I think you are fine to bring someone else if you want to, but not obliged to.  If you choose not to, I'd call the bride as soon as you make that decision to tell her that circumstances have changed and you won't be bringing a guest.  You can go into the reason, but aren't obliged to.  I don't think you need to offer to pay for the meal since the bride isn't incurring any extra cost by the person cancelling.

If the invitation was for Surianne and a named guest, then I wouldn't assume that you could bring someone else if the named guest for any reason (including a break up) couldn't go.  It would, to me, be only slightly different than if a couple got divorced, I wouldn't assume that if one half of the couple backed out, the other could automatically bring someone else.  In this case, I'd call, and inform the bride of the change in plans.

azleaneo

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Comedy option is to go by yourself and take a plate home!

(Don't really do this, just let the bride know that you're going solo)

Surianne

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Comedy option is to go by yourself and take a plate home!

(Don't really do this, just let the bride know that you're going solo)

Mmmm...I do love leftovers!!  (The food at that particular wedding wound up being AMAZING)