I will start out by saying I have problems getting to know new people and it can take a few meetings for me to really warm up to anyone. So this may be just me being oversensitive. Dad is as anti-social as I am. Mom is an extrovert. So if I am being oversensitive, please let me know.
Mom and dad like to plan family vacations when they can. Usually once a year unless money is tight. Mom has a habit of inviting people along without asking for anyone for their opinion. Dad had a talk with her and she seemed to have gotten better. Before now she only invited people that I was comfortable with (mostly family and one old family friend). I believe my sister was as well. I don't know about dad. So, for me, there was annoyance that someone was "barging in" on family time, but no discomfort in their presence.
The topic just came up to plan our family vacation trip again this year. My parents are planning on renting a cabin we've rented before and liked. 2 bedrooms 1 queen bed and 2 twin beds. 1 bathroom and 1 combined living/kitchen/dining room. It is small. The appeal is in the nearby hiking, scenery, fishing, boating, etc. combined with the price.
While talking about it with my sister my mother invited her to bring her boyfriend along. They've been together just over a year. Mom, Dad, and I have met him once. I'm peeved that our planned family vacation has suddenly expanded to include him, for a couple of different reasons.
- The biggest one is that I don't know him and we'd be living in pretty close quarters for a week. Someone is going to be sleeping in the common space.
- I also feel "he isn't family, why is he coming on a family vacation?". I admit that it is probably churlish and childish, but they are not engaged, and, as previously stated, we don't know him. (note: last I heard sis is adamant that IF they get engaged it wont be for another year or two)
- Neither they (sister&bf) nor I could afford to rent another cabin nearby on our own (they're still in college and I am underemployed).
And since my parents are paying for the cabin, I'm not sure if it would be polite to get them to look at larger, more expensive cabins so that everyone can have a bedroom. Basically it comes down to "as things stand, I don't want to go, but don't know what to say". This would actually be the first time that someone was backing out of a family vacation.
How do I approach this topic without being rude? I'm more or less self-employed, so work schedules couldn't be an excuse as we all know I can move just about anything around to whenever. I've already said that I'd go and have discussed it with them. They are going to know that I'm backing out because I don't want to be there. I'm also worried that what I say will come across like a little kid throwing a fit. "But mommy
I don't want
him to come! Waaahhhh