General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Trifecta of etiquette blunders from boss regarding wedding

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EMuir:
My partner's boss (manager of the whole dept) is really trying for some kind of prize for failing at etiquette I think.

The manager is getting married soon. 

The manager invited all female staff to her wedding shower.

Then she invited all staff, but not their partners/significant others, to her wedding.

Just in case you had to miss these special events, she has also set up a pot luck lunch at the workplace to celebrate her marriage.

Inappropriate much? Wow. Am I right in thinking these are horrible abuses of her power?

Chivewarrior:
...well, the shower is just plain terrible etiquette. It would have been fine for the employees to throw one on their own if they decided they wanted to, but her inviting one is definitely abuse of power.

Inviting to the wedding I think would have been okay if there had been a clear statement of "it's not mandatory" accompanied by inviting the SOs of anyone who's in a social unit with them-- but that's more "rude for ignoring social unit rules" than "abuse of power" unless there's reason to think she'll hold not attending against her employees later.

Not really seeing how a potluck lunch is any more of an abuse of power than any other work potluck function, unless you're expected to bring gifts or the office is of the "we don't have potlucks ever" culture.

DottyG:
I don't get the impression that she's throwing the shower for herself, just inviting the female staff to it.  Which is not unheard of.  If she feels like the staff (and it's usually female for a shower, so I don't think there's an issue of no men being invited) is close enough to her that she wants to invite them, I don't see that as a major gaffe.  Minor, at the very least.  But I'm not even sure about that.

LEMon:
Not too impressed by the non-inviting SO's.  But, she got one detail right - she only invited people to the shower who were invited to the wedding.  I do feel she should not have set up her own potluck to celebrate herself, and the invite to the shower should have come from the hostess, not her.

The question is probably how much pressure your partner is feeling to give her gifts or attend her events.  I can see a gregarious boss thinking, "come have fun," and I can see another thinking, "gifts."  One is thinking of you, the other of herself.

Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: LEMon on May 09, 2013, 07:49:15 PM ---Not too impressed by the non-inviting SO's.  But, she got one detail right - she only invited people to the shower who were invited to the wedding.  I do feel she should not have set up her own potluck to celebrate herself, and the invite to the shower should have come from the hostess, not her.

The question is probably how much pressure your partner is feeling to give her gifts or attend her events.  I can see a gregarious boss thinking, "come have fun," and I can see another thinking, "gifts."  One is thinking of you, the other of herself.

--- End quote ---

I mostly agree.  I'd have to know more before I passed judgment.

Is this boss usually greedy?  Is she close with most of the staff and that's why she invited them? 

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