General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Should I have said something?

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Surianne:
I think you did the right thing in not speaking to her in front of the inmates, definitely.

Since it sounds like you haven't had a problem with this coworker in the past, I personally wouldn't say anything to her this time.  It may have been a one-off, brought on by feeling embarrassed when you corrected her, and she might already be regretting it.  Bringing it up may just make the situation worse.

If it happens again, I like JenJay's wording.  And I don't think you'd be wrong or rude to say something now, if you do want to use her wording--it just wouldn't be my choice.

Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: Surianne on May 10, 2013, 07:00:39 PM ---I think you did the right thing in not speaking to her in front of the inmates, definitely.

Since it sounds like you haven't had a problem with this coworker in the past, I personally wouldn't say anything to her this time.  It may have been a one-off, brought on by feeling embarrassed when you corrected her, and she might already be regretting it.  Bringing it up may just make the situation worse.

If it happens again, I like JenJay's wording.  And I don't think you'd be wrong or rude to say something now, if you do want to use her wording--it just wouldn't be my choice.

--- End quote ---

I didn't correct her, though, I just pointed out something she may not know that may have been helpful.  I mention this because, maybe she DID think I corrected her and, if you think I did, would you please explain how so that I can make sure to not do it again in the future?

TootsNYC:
Tone of voice is your tool, I think. Try to make it a question.
"Do you already know/have you already heard...?"

Also, it's interesting that it seems that she thinks the inmate should have been the one to deal with his concern. Maybe she thinks that you were overstepping in some way--infantilizing the inmate, or becoming the inmate's advocate when it was not appropriate, etc. Esp. because you're a guard--the inmate is not your customer; you're not in customer service.

So look at the situation from that point of view as well.

It may not have been about her; it may have been about you.

Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on May 10, 2013, 08:00:52 PM ---Tone of voice is your tool, I think. Try to make it a question.
"Do you already know/have you already heard...?"

Also, it's interesting that it seems that she thinks the inmate should have been the one to deal with his concern. Maybe she thinks that you were overstepping in some way--infantilizing the inmate, or becoming the inmate's advocate when it was not appropriate, etc. Esp. because you're a guard--the inmate is not your customer; you're not in customer service.

So look at the situation from that point of view as well.

It may not have been about her; it may have been about you.

--- End quote ---

I know I did something to annoy her even if I thought I was being helpful; that's not the issue.  The issue is how she spoke to me in front of inmates.  That's why I wanted to say something along the lines of "If you have a problem with what I did, please tell me, not snap at me in front of inmates."  However, it is interesting to see what she may have been thinking; doesn't make her reaction any good, but it helps me to understand maybe why she felt she needed to act that way.




(Also, this doesn't bother me but I thought you may want to know that calling a corrections/correctional officer a "guard" is incredibly insulting to many, many, many people.)

Surianne:

--- Quote from: Mental Magpie on May 10, 2013, 07:13:45 PM ---I didn't correct her, though, I just pointed out something she may not know that may have been helpful.  I mention this because, maybe she DID think I corrected her and, if you think I did, would you please explain how so that I can make sure to not do it again in the future?

--- End quote ---

Oh, I probably should have phrased that better -- I meant that she felt corrected, rather than that I thought you corrected her.  I actually didn't fully understand what you meant in your OP about the man checking for a week.  (Just reread it -- still not sure, maybe some background I'm lacking, or maybe just tiredness on my part.  Was your coworker supposed to bring him something?)  So I wasn't sure if it would come across to her as helpful or something else. 

Like Toots I was also thinking it was probably a tone of voice thing.  Either that you were taking agency away from the man by putting words in his mouth, or you were correcting her in some way.  I have a couple of coworkers who say things that could be interpreted as being helpful in their mind, but because of their tone of voice, they come across like an attempt to show people up. 

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