spinoff to kids as a package deal

[Emmy]

Most parents have kids as part of the package which is to be expected.  dating is complicated enough when both partners don't have children, but I'm sure having children complicates things even more because the couple has to consider the childrens' feelings as well as their own.  How much do your kid's opinion of the person you are dating influence your relationship?  Has somebody ended a relationship with you because their kids either didn't like you personally (even if you did nothing wrong) or just didn't like the idea of their parent dating somebody else?  Did you ever break up with somebody who made you happy because of you children?  Would you break up with somebody because your child 'didn't like him/her', but couldn't provide any specific reasons?

[Dragonflymom]

I think my daughter getting along with FH as well as she does definitely influenced my decision to marry him.  That and her drawing a heart with chalk on the driveway and writing "Brian loves Mommy forever" inside it - his face turned bright red, it was so cute.   But he was the only one I dated since my divorce, so I can't really answer the other questions.

[Gambitgirl]

for me it's pretty easy...I don't want kids of my own, nor do I want to be a step-parent. so i do not date men with children. i know it limits the field of men available, especially since i'm in my 30s, but i'm ok with that. and really, what man with children would want to date a woman so firmly against having children or being a parent?  makes things much simpler for me personally, even if it does make finding an eligible man more difficult.

[blarg314]

I think kids definitely need to be considered when a relationship becomes serious. I don't think they should necessarily have immediate veto power, but if the child is in a state where a parent's remarriage and a new person moving into the home would cause serious problems, then I think it's an issue that should be addressed *before* marriage or living together, via family counselling if needed.  In some cases, the needs of the child need to come before the wants of the parent.

[Sirius]

for me it's pretty easy...I don't want kids of my own, nor do I want to be a step-parent. so i do not date men with children. i know it limits the field of men available, especially since i'm in my 30s, but i'm ok with that. and really, what man with children would want to date a woman so firmly against having children or being a parent?  makes things much simpler for me personally, even if it does make finding an eligible man more difficult.

Gambit, I'm with you on this one.  I didn't want children, and I didn't want to be a step-parent.  I dated a couple of men who had children, and had we gotten serious I think the children would have been a dealbreaker.  Yes, it does limit the field.  I was 37 when Mr. Sirius and I met, and one thing that made him appealing was that he was 34 and had never been married and didn't have children.  His reason for not being married was the same as mine:  We felt that we were better off alone and happy than with someone who made us miserable.