I love my mother. I really do. But today the only thing that saved me from sitting there like a lump getting lectured was thinking "What would the Ehellions advise?!"
I am slightly overweight - I have a bit of a belly and a bum. The Good Ethnic Boy likes my rear the way it is
, my doctor isn't concerned about my weight at all, my dietician says that the diet I'm going to have to go on to control my IBS isn't conducive to losing weight anyway, and although I wouldn't mind losing a few inches off my waist I have better things to worry about. I used to be dangerously thin due to a different health issue and quite frankly would rather be this size. I eat healthily for the most part, I don't have any weight-related medical problems, I'm FINE. However, everyone else in my family is skinny... and Mum wants me to lose weight. Has for years.
Normally, if Mum decides that I need the benefit of her wisdom
, I end up saying "Mmm." and "Yeah." and being told off because I'm just saying that and have no intention of doing what she says and she's only saying it for my own good and it's because she loves me and if she didn't love me she wouldn't bother and and and ARGH. There is practically nothing more annoying than being lectured "for your own good"! It's always something where I think my "own good" is best served by doing something other than what she
recommends, but nothing short of total capitulation will satisfy Mum! Bean dipping doesn't work, silence just starts the lecture early, flat refusal makes the lecture worse.
Today - Mother's Day - I drove down to have lunch with Mum and Stepdad. There was a lot of good chat, interesting topics, blah blah, and it got onto how I'm very happy with my new job, Mum's happy that both her daughters are doing well, she talked to Older Sister, oh and Older Sister has lost weight.
*thinking* Last time I saw her I thought she was a bit too thin...
Mum: "She's [weight considerably lower than Mel] now."
Mel: *boggled into speaking without thinking* "What? I'm [weight]!"
Mum: "Yes, and that's too much. You really need to... blah blah blah health blah blah self-restraint blah-blah we eat healthily blah blah Stepdad didn't want to but I kept at him and look at him now blah blah health blah blah YOUR OWN GOOD."
Mel: Oh god. Here we go. Why didn't I just say 'yay' and change the subject?
"I'm happy with my weight. And anyway, my dietician--"
Mum: "But it's not healthy! All you need to do... blah blah cut out sugar blah blah cook from scratch blah blah I worry."
Mel: "I'm concentrating on getting my IBS under control first, the diet for that is going to be tricky enough. Once that's sorted I might--"
Mum: "Well what can you eat with that diet?"
Mel: *brief explanation*
Mum: "Well that's not hard, you can have [thing I can't eat]--"
Mel: "Nope. Can't eat that. Or [other things]."
Mum: "Okay, chicken and fish and rice and [things I can't eat]--"
Mel: "Nope. Can't eat [thing] or [thing] because [explanation]."
Mum: "Oh. Well, you can get recipes off the internet."
Mel: "Yes, and I am doing that, but I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm fine with it."
Mum: "But it's not healthy!"
Mel: MUST DERAIL TRAIN BEFORE IT STARTS AGAIN! Must be polite! Think of Ehell! Polite but blunt and with no wiggle room!
"Mum, my doctor's happy with my weight. My dietician is happy with my weight. I'm happy with my weight. I'm not going to diet."
Mel: "Sorry if I'm a bit grouchy on the subject, but I'm tired of people trying to make me unhappy with myself."
Mum: "But I'm not trying to make you unhappy!"
Mel: "But you are trying to make me change when I don't want to."
Mum: "...Oh. Okay. All right, we won't talk about it."
Mel: "Thank you. So, how about that bean dip?"
It might have been a bit late but I remembered the lessons learned here and we had a lovely visit after all. Thank you, Ehell!
(slight edit to fix grammar!)