Author Topic: A stranger bought me flowers... but it wasn't cute or romantic!  (Read 8417 times)

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EllenS

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Re: A stranger bought me flowers... but it wasn't cute or romantic!
« Reply #30 on: July 02, 2013, 02:51:07 PM »
Compassion is always a choice, and a beautiful choice - as long as it is true compassion, rather than some manipulated response.  I think the whole point of compassion, as WillyNilly spoke of, is that it is NOT an obligation.

If you feel threatened/pressured/obliged/like you "are supposed to" give someone your time/attention/some slack, then that is not compassion.  Compassion comes from a person who feels safe, whole, and intentional.

The more experienced you are at reading your own cues and warning signs about a situation, the more confident you can be in your choices to enforce a boundary or give someone a little leeway.

Teacup

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Re: A stranger bought me flowers... but it wasn't cute or romantic!
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2013, 02:16:05 AM »
I love love love Mental Magpie's response of "That is inappropriate" said in a firm tone.  We know here at Ehell that to call out rudeness is in itself a rude act, but where safety is concerned, some of the rules have to go out the window.

If need be, you can escalate ("Let go of me!", call for help, ect.) but this option does give the perpetrator the opportunity to take back the action and perhaps redeem him/herself. 

That being said, were this an empty street and not a bar with other patrons around, I would definitely skip straight to the yelling part.