General Etiquette > Family and Children

Family wedding invites

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LilacGirl1983:
Not sure if this is the right place...sorry if its not. My husband's cousin is getting married. We just got the invite. We would like to go the only dillima is that its near our due date..its on the 18th and we are due for the new baby on the 13th. The problem is we would like to go if the baby comes early (We would find babysitting for the baby and dd) but how should I reserve? Should I put yea or no? I was not sure what etiquette wise we should do since we want to go but if baby makes his arrival then we wouldn't be able to (causing them to order 2 extra plates) or say no and miss out if the baby comes early. My dd came at 37 weeks so that would be next week if this one does the same.

Shoo:
I think it's a little too close for comfort, myself.  You have no way of knowing when the baby is going to arrive, so it seems like you'd be taking a huge chance by saying you'll go.  I know you hate to miss it, but if the baby is on time or even a little late, you'd have to miss it AND your cousin will have spent money on two dinners. 

Moray:

--- Quote from: LilacGirl1983 on May 13, 2013, 03:12:54 PM ---Not sure if this is the right place...sorry if its not. My husband's cousin is getting married. We just got the invite. We would like to go the only dillima is that its near our due date..its on the 18th and we are due for the new baby on the 13th. The problem is we would like to go if the baby comes early (We would find babysitting for the baby and dd) but how should I reserve? Should I put yea or no? I was not sure what etiquette wise we should do since we want to go but if baby makes his arrival then we wouldn't be able to (causing them to order 2 extra plates) or say no and miss out if the baby comes early. My dd came at 37 weeks so that would be next week if this one does the same.

--- End quote ---

Decline. It's the kindest thing to do. You can schedule a visit to congratulate them either before or after you give birth.

bah12:
Personally, I think you should RSVP "no".  As much as you'd like to go, with a due date just 5 days after the wedding, it doesn't seem all that likely that you'd make it.  Sure, the baby may come early and you already have experience with a newborn, but you just don't know how you're going to be feeling or even how the baby will be feeling even if it does arrive early.  Because your cousin needs to pay for every person that comes to the wedding (I'm assuming), I think the safest bet is to just decline, stating that the baby is due to arrive around that same time.

You can always express your desire to attend if the circumstances allow and let your cousin offer you the "maybe if it works out" response.  But, I don't suggest you lead with it.  Offer to help with wedding prep during your pregnancy, if that is practicle for you.

TootsNYC:
Or, tell them your dilemma.
If you subscribe to the "don't bother the bride & groom with trivialities" school of thought (I generally do, but I'm not sure this is so trivial), explain your dilemma to someone you *know* is close to the planning (bride's mom, perhaps).

Some people might be able to wait for the final answer from you. Or they might say, "say yes, and we'll deal with the extra plates."

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