Author Topic: This is somehow my fault...  (Read 11723 times)

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Iris

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #60 on: May 16, 2013, 07:01:37 AM »
She may have been frazzled from a screaming child (nobody needs that, amiright?) and so had a generically irritated tone of voice which sounded accusatory.

When dd was 18 months old she was playing with some fancy soaps while I was on the phone. Sure enough as soon as I took my eyes off her for 10 seconds I looked up to see her walk away while pulling exactly the face you would pull if you had just eaten soap. Then I saw the little teeth marks. Luckily she didn't swallow it so I could have good laugh without worrying. There was no screaming though, not even a tear.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Redsoil

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #61 on: May 16, 2013, 07:20:04 AM »
Is it wrong that I'm picturing the next dinner party with tastefully decorated soaps as decorations on the table?  *snerk*
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lowspark

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #62 on: May 16, 2013, 08:29:11 AM »
For those who asked if it was just tone or if she specifically said something that blamed me/DH, it was hard to tell.  She said something like, "Julia bit into the soap, and found out it tastes nasty."  Someone said, "What?" and Julia's mom replied with, "Well, Julia didn't know what it was, since she's never seen a bar of soap before and there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use". 

Also, Mom wasn't in the bathroom with her; Dad was in the bathroom with her and Mom went to go see what happened when the unearthly shrieking/crying/yelling combo broke out.  Dad's comment was something along the lines of "I don't think she'll ever do that again". 

One more comment - the soap was not decorated/scented in anyway to resemble specific food.  It's shaped like a hockey puck, maybe about 3 inches in diameter, tinted a very faint pink, and smells kind of floral and fruity all at the same time.  I actually made it myself when I was experimenting with how much madder root I needed to color white soap (a lot, as it turns out).

The words themselves don't sound accusatory so whether she was blaming you or not would totally depend on the tone. It could be anywhere from something like:
<shrug> there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use
or
<shooting daggers at the OP> there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use!!!
or any number of other possibilities.

In either case, I agree with the dad, she probably won't do it again.
 

shhh its me

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #63 on: May 17, 2013, 01:21:47 PM »
OP tone matters but try it from this perspective (with hypothetical moms internal narrative)

"Julia bit into the soap, and found out it tastes nasty.I'm so embarrassed , I cant believe she screamed like that , why didn't dad stop her, why on earth did she stick that in her mouth.   Someone said, "What?is wrong with you and your child that she densest know not to eat soap!!!" and Julia's mom replied with, "Well, Julia didn't know what it was, she knows what soap issince she's never seen a bar of soap before and there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use she has never tried to drink the liquid soap.  we do teach her stuff! I cant believe I never thought about her not knowing what bars soap is , what else have I missed ? it could be something more dangerous then soap ,there's nothing wrong with me as a mother!!!". 



Jocelyn

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #64 on: May 17, 2013, 06:06:59 PM »
I had a flash of insight, I bet it happened like this:

A 2.5 year old is too short to reach all the way to the back of a vanity, which is where most people keep the soap. Mom picks up the bar soap and hands it to child; the child thinks that it must be food, so she bites it.
Mom is horrified that she caused the accident, and is trying to explain WHY she handed her child something the child would not recognize as soap. She's sufficiently guilty about it that she's just babbling.


m2kbug

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #65 on: May 18, 2013, 06:02:45 PM »
I am seriously laughing.  I wouldn't give this another thought.  So she's never seen bar soap before.  Now she knows.  Eating random things in a bathroom is probably not wise.  Eating random things from anywhere is probably not wise.  Don't worry about it.  Good story to tell later.  If mom is upset with you for having bar soap in your bathroom, well, that one is all her.   

Pen^2

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #66 on: May 19, 2013, 02:44:46 AM »
This is pretty hilarious.

Daughter eating the soap and so on is an easy thing to occur even under supervision (it only takes a second). Nothing wrong there. Mum may have been frazzled with her daughter screaming and so on, and therefore sounded less polite than she intended, and may not have been blaming you at all. But the lack of any sort of apology at her daughter ruining a home-made soap is what stands out to me.

"Julia didn't know what it was, since she's never seen a bar of soap before and there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use. Now she's learnt the hard way. Listen, I'm so sorry that your soap was ruined. Julia didn't know what she was doing."

Mistakes happen, sure, and in the end what matters is how they are handled. This was handled without a thought for the person who's property was ruined. I don't like that much.

RingTailedLemur

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #67 on: May 20, 2013, 04:02:16 AM »
I'm a bit surprised that a child that age would scream so hysterically at an unpleasant taste.

Virg

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #68 on: May 20, 2013, 04:41:01 PM »
ladyknight1 wrote:

"Wow, no OP, this is beyond the pale. I would throw away that bar of soap, though."

Why?  It's relatively easy to clean a bar of soap, and the bite marks would be entertaining to say the least.  I'd keep it to pass on to the girl as a graduation present.

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ladyknight1

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #69 on: May 20, 2013, 05:08:18 PM »
Because (once used) soap already has a lot of bacteria, and someone's mouth touching it would amplify that a bit.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #70 on: May 20, 2013, 05:17:43 PM »
ladyknight1 wrote:

"Wow, no OP, this is beyond the pale. I would throw away that bar of soap, though."

Why?  It's relatively easy to clean a bar of soap, and the bite marks would be entertaining to say the least.  I'd keep it to pass on to the girl as a graduation present.

Virg

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Jones

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #71 on: May 20, 2013, 05:23:43 PM »
Ha, I thought of this thread over the weekend when DD, age 7, and I were at the salon. There was a display of locally homemade soaps. They smelled wonderful; everything from oatmeal to raspberry. DD asked if they were snacks, I had to tell her no, even though they smelled great they were actually soap. I plan to go back for some of the soaps this weekend, hopefully no one tries to eat my new soap.

Calistoga

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #72 on: May 21, 2013, 12:26:17 PM »
Well that would be a funny conversation in the future.

"Are your children familiar with bar soap? Do they know not to eat it?"

As a child who was perfectly familiar with bar soap, I STILL tried to eat it at some point. It was a learning experience. Keep the soap and let that be her personal bar since she gnawed on it.

workerbee

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #73 on: May 21, 2013, 01:11:12 PM »
This is hilarious, and I can't believe the discussion has gone on for 5 pages! At least there is definitely a consensus -- OP, you were not at fault in the least.

I do think the mom comes across as a twit, but I wonder if, as some folks have mentioned, she was just having an "I'm a terrible parent" moment and it somehow came across as blaming you. I've definitely had those times where my child is upset/injured/crying over something that I feel like maybe I could have prevented (however unrealistic that possibility). Mommy guilt is far reaching and irrational!!

Now that I think about it, until about a year ago, my young kids would not have been familiar with bar soap - I use bodywash, we have liquid hand soap in all the bathrooms, and we would have used liquid soap to bathe them as infants. It's only in the recent past that we've switched to bar soap at bathtime. Even in public bathrooms, most have one of those foam/liquid dispensers.

On a final note, this story reminded me of my 2-year-old this morning, who picked up a bottle of pink shavng cream from the side of the tub and, looking at the picture, asked me if it was ice cream!   :D  Thankfully I told him no before he tasted it!!

ettiquit

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Re: This is somehow my fault...
« Reply #74 on: May 21, 2013, 02:36:37 PM »
For those who asked if it was just tone or if she specifically said something that blamed me/DH, it was hard to tell.  She said something like, "Julia bit into the soap, and found out it tastes nasty."  Someone said, "What?" and Julia's mom replied with, "Well, Julia didn't know what it was, since she's never seen a bar of soap before and there wasn't any liquid soap for her to use". 

Also, Mom wasn't in the bathroom with her; Dad was in the bathroom with her and Mom went to go see what happened when the unearthly shrieking/crying/yelling combo broke out.  Dad's comment was something along the lines of "I don't think she'll ever do that again". 

One more comment - the soap was not decorated/scented in anyway to resemble specific food.  It's shaped like a hockey puck, maybe about 3 inches in diameter, tinted a very faint pink, and smells kind of floral and fruity all at the same time.  I actually made it myself when I was experimenting with how much madder root I needed to color white soap (a lot, as it turns out).

Well sure, anytime I don't have liquid soap available, I put the first unidentifiable object I see in my mouth.