Author Topic: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?  (Read 10761 times)

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DottyG

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2013, 11:40:14 AM »
Quote
Or, heck, the bushes, just not where people are, or will be, eating.

Was this a typo, or did you mean the bushes? I mean, I guess that's possible, but I wasn't sure if that's really what you were saying.


Syrse

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2013, 04:39:14 PM »
I must admit I'm a bit surprised that people object to my DH going into the ladies to change a diaper? The stalls are all closed, and the diaper table is always outside of the stalls (or in the disabled one), so how can he run into inappropriate things? Or am I missing something?

I have never heard of anyone getting mad at mixed genders in the bathrooms... I have seen daddies help their 5 year old girls, etc. It's sort of mutually agreed upon that kids fall outside the rules. We have never gotten even so much as a weird look with DH going into the ladies. The diaper bag and baby make it very clear he's not there for fun  :P

Might this be a Europe-US difference? Or maybe a difference as to where the table is set up?

And yes, we always bring a changing pad. But if there's a diaper table available, no way in heck is my DH going to put our baby on the bathroom floor next to the urinals  ::)

*edit*

Suppose in a few years time, my DH is out with our daughter and I'm someplace else. She needs to go to the bathroom. Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?  ??? It's not like he can take her into the men's.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2013, 04:49:21 PM by Syrse »

Onyx_TKD

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2013, 05:25:09 PM »
I must admit I'm a bit surprised that people object to my DH going into the ladies to change a diaper? The stalls are all closed, and the diaper table is always outside of the stalls (or in the disabled one), so how can he run into inappropriate things? Or am I missing something?

I have never heard of anyone getting mad at mixed genders in the bathrooms... I have seen daddies help their 5 year old girls, etc. It's sort of mutually agreed upon that kids fall outside the rules. We have never gotten even so much as a weird look with DH going into the ladies. The diaper bag and baby make it very clear he's not there for fun  :P

Might this be a Europe-US difference? Or maybe a difference as to where the table is set up?

And yes, we always bring a changing pad. But if there's a diaper table available, no way in heck is my DH going to put our baby on the bathroom floor next to the urinals  ::)

*edit*

Suppose in a few years time, my DH is out with our daughter and I'm someplace else. She needs to go to the bathroom. Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?  ??? It's not like he can take her into the men's.

Are you in Europe? This is a typical US restroom stall--you can see that there is a significant gap between the floor and the bottom of the doors, as well as decent-sized gaps (~1/2-1 in?) on either side of the doors. They provide reasonable privacy as long as no one is intentionally trying to see into a stall, but that's about where it ends. IME, the restroom stalls in, e.g., Germany, were more completely closed off, with full-length doors and no gaps like individual tiny rooms.

Syrse

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2013, 05:37:45 PM »
Ahhh, I should have remembered that. Over here, stalls are completely closed 9 times out of 10.
Movie theaters and the like sometimes have the gap at the bottom, but it's usually only 2 inches or so. No way a grown man could see anything unless he went through a lot of trouble.



DottyG

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2013, 06:00:07 PM »
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Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?

In the US, yes. So remind him not to do it if he's over here!

But it sounds like you might have different customs where you are. Maybe it's done there.


snowdragon

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2013, 06:11:44 PM »




Suppose in a few years time, my DH is out with our daughter and I'm someplace else. She needs to go to the bathroom. Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?  ??? It's not like he can take her into the men's.

 Here he may even be breaking the law depending on where he is.  And why is it ok for a grown male to invade a ladies room, but the men's room is sacrosanct?  ???   He can cover her eyes or carry her in as she hides her eyes in his neck or something. But the double standard here is baffling.

Amava

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2013, 06:14:21 PM »




Suppose in a few years time, my DH is out with our daughter and I'm someplace else. She needs to go to the bathroom. Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?  ??? It's not like he can take her into the men's.

 Here he may even be breaking the law depending on where he is.  And why is it ok for a grown male to invade a ladies room, but the men's room is sacrosanct?  ???   He can cover her eyes or carry her in as she hides her eyes in his neck or something. But the double standard here is baffling.

Not at all. Where Syrse and I are, the ladies' have seperate stalls, the men have open urinals.
Big difference.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2013, 07:31:08 PM »
The bathrooms at the park we were camping at recently didn't have changing tables, but they did have benches which I did use to change the little guy's nappy, though most times I just took care of that in the tent. And when on the beach I'd change him in our cabana and tuck the diaper into a plastic bag to be tossed later.

When we went to the boardwalk though, one day we stopped into a Dunkin Donuts until the stores opened and when the little man needed a change I just went out to the van to do his change there.  I can't imagine changing him where people eat and expecting them to ignore it. Even changing a #1 where there's barely any smell is still gross and unsanitary.
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turnip

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2013, 07:39:20 PM »




Suppose in a few years time, my DH is out with our daughter and I'm someplace else. She needs to go to the bathroom. Is he seriously breaking etiquette by walking into the ladies with her?  ??? It's not like he can take her into the men's.

 Here he may even be breaking the law depending on where he is.  And why is it ok for a grown male to invade a ladies room, but the men's room is sacrosanct?  ???   He can cover her eyes or carry her in as she hides her eyes in his neck or something. But the double standard here is baffling.

I have never heard of a man being arrested for accompanying his 5 year old daughter into the ladies room.  It would be quite a court case! 

But there is a considerable difference between women's rooms with stalls and men's rooms with urinals.    You may not consider that difference significant, others probably disagree.

Peregrine

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2013, 10:06:47 PM »
I had situation identical to Slartibartifast and did the same thing.  I couldn't change my infant on 120 degree asphalt in front of the fast food joint...the bathroom wasn't available.  I found the furthest corner bench seat and changed him on his change pad (literally the only thing that touched the seat was the change pad).  I took the soiled diaper with me in a ziplock, didn't leave that at the fast food joint, and I used additional diaper wipes to wipe down the seat after I was done.  No one saw me, and I am pretty sure I left the seat cleaner than it was before I changed him.

Turned out that after I had gotten him changed and all the equipment put away we saw a man and woman sneak out of the restroom as we were leaving.  It had been locked approximately 30 minutes....  :o  The way the restaurant was configured the restrooms were in an out of the way side aisle not visible to employees.

katycoo

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2013, 11:44:09 PM »
I always carried a changing pad in my diaper bag. My sister used to change my nieces diaper on her lap.

How on earth does a lap change work with a toddler?

katycoo

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #26 on: May 19, 2013, 11:45:51 PM »
I object to a man in a multi-occupant woman's room and have reported men for being there. I have seen a couple of places kick men out for this. And I've seen enough adult men in the woman's ( multi-occupant) bathrooms, that I will only go at places that have single occupant bathrooms, or family rooms. I'd rather risk ANYTHING other than being in a room with my pants when a male walks in.

Do multi-occupant bathrooms where you live not have stalls with doors?  If they do, what difference does it make if a male is in the sink area?

CocoCamm

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #27 on: May 20, 2013, 12:05:03 AM »
I object to a man in a multi-occupant woman's room and have reported men for being there. I have seen a couple of places kick men out for this. And I've seen enough adult men in the woman's ( multi-occupant) bathrooms, that I will only go at places that have single occupant bathrooms, or family rooms. I'd rather risk ANYTHING other than being in a room with my pants when a male walks in.

Do multi-occupant bathrooms where you live not have stalls with doors?  If they do, what difference does it make if a male is in the sink area?

I wonder this myself. I mean what difference does it make if someone of the opposite gender is outside the stall? How does that affect anything? What is the difference between a male being outside the stall door compared to waiting outside the door of a single stall bathroom or even outside of a private bathroom in a private residence?

sammycat

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #28 on: May 20, 2013, 12:09:28 AM »
I object to a man in a multi-occupant woman's room and have reported men for being there. I have seen a couple of places kick men out for this. And I've seen enough adult men in the woman's ( multi-occupant) bathrooms, that I will only go at places that have single occupant bathrooms, or family rooms. I'd rather risk ANYTHING other than being in a room with my pants when a male walks in.

Do multi-occupant bathrooms where you live not have stalls with doors?  If they do, what difference does it make if a male is in the sink area?

I wonder this myself. I mean what difference does it make if someone of the opposite gender is outside the stall? How does that affect anything? What is the difference between a male being outside the stall door compared to waiting outside the door of a single stall bathroom or even outside of a private bathroom in a private residence?

I wonder too!

If there simply isn't a choice, I'd rather a man brought his young daughter into the ladies toilets than take her into the mens, where there actually IS a chance she'll see something private.

Elfmama

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Re: S/O No changing tables: what is or isn't appropriate?
« Reply #29 on: May 20, 2013, 12:11:30 AM »
I object to a man in a multi-occupant woman's room and have reported men for being there. I have seen a couple of places kick men out for this. And I've seen enough adult men in the woman's ( multi-occupant) bathrooms, that I will only go at places that have single occupant bathrooms, or family rooms. I'd rather risk ANYTHING other than being in a room with my pants when a male walks in.

Do multi-occupant bathrooms where you live not have stalls with doors?  If they do, what difference does it make if a male is in the sink area?
That was covered upthread.  Most US women's rooms have significant gaps in the door coverage. Very few have completely enclosed stalls.
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