Or, perhaps, it is true but what she wants is for me to want to do what she wants me to do without her having to ask me directly.
Ohhhhh... she sounds so much like my boss. My boss really wants me to already be thinking what she's thinking without her having to say it. Like she'll say "Can you write up X? No rush - whenever you get to it." And I'll plan to do X, right after I finish up Y, which will take about an hour, and needs to be done that day. Before the hour is up, someone stops by her office to look at X and she's all frustrated that I haven't gotten to it yet. Her favorite line is "Can I ask why this isn't done yet?" When I say that she told me it was no rush and I was finishing up the deadlined item, she'll sigh and say "Well, I really needed it done right away." How would I know that? Naturally, I try to do her things immediately, to avoid these conversations, but most of the time it's just not possible for one reason or another. And she will not give me a deadline, even when I ask her point blank.
Another typical interaction: we're proofing a brochure or some other item from our graphic designer.
Boss: What do you think of this font on cover?
Me: It's good - I really like that blue.
Boss: NO! it needs to be MUCH bigger!
Me: Bigger? Ok, I'll have the designer make it bigger.
Boss: Don't YOU think it should be bigger?
Me (studying cover): Sure - bigger would be fine.
Boss: But you didn't say that before.
Me (now I'm a little caught): I think it's fine this size, but it's not a problem to make it bigger.
Boss: I can't believe you think this size is fine...
And on like that. It doesn't matter that I'm not arguing with her and that that what she wants is what's going to happen - she really, really wants me to already have the same opinion that she does. It drives me bonkers, because I always feel like she asks my opinion in order to trap me into having the "wrong" one.
At any rate, Blue, sorry to hijack this with my own tales of woe
But I thought you should know that there is a kindred soul out there that shares your frustration. I don't know how old your boss is, but mine was coming up through the ranks in the 80s and I think she has this thing where she wants to be liked (because she's human), but then she thinks she's not supposed
to want to be liked (because she's a Modern Career Woman) so she gets caught in a spiral of not knowing how to ask things of her employees. (In case you can't tell, I spend quite bit of time internally psychoanalyzing my boss. That's what keeps me sane!)