(Background: ) My wife and I don't take separate out-of-town trips very often. Usually we have traveled together, or, actually, the last few years we haven't had many overnight away trips at all.
The last time I took a separate out-of-town trip was about five years ago, when I attended a week-long conference related to my job. I carpooled to the conference city with co-workers.
The first night that I was there I called home just after 9:30 P.M. to let my wife know I had arrived safely and to ask how things were at home. When I called, my wife was watching reruns of her favorite TV shows while she crocheted. She sounded quite annoyed that my call was interrupting her show. It's been 5 years, so I don't remember her exact words, but I do remember her tone sounded quite annoyed. She pointed out that she had been watching TV and had had to interrupt her crochet stitch-counting to answer the phone, and said that the boys were all playing a video game together and she was sure they didn't want their game to be interrupted either. I felt very hurt, but I did not say anything rude. I think I said something like, "OK then, well I guess I'd better hang up now so you can get back to your TV show."
After that treatment on the telephone I did not feel like calling home again all week. (And no, there were no calls to me from home all week.)
In the car, on the way back to my home city after the conference, one of my co-workers was telling us about how her husband had fared taking care of their children all by himself that week (based upon her phone calls home). After she finished her story, she turned to me and asked, "Snappy, how did things go for your wife and sons back home this week?"
I replied by telling her that I had no idea how things were at my house. She seemed surprised at that, so I explained about the one time I tried calling home and said that I hadn't tried any more calls home after that one. She and the others in the car didn't seem to know how to reply to that, and quickly the subject was changed and we chatted about other things the rest of the way back.
When I returned home, I tried telling my wife how hurt I had felt. She acted totally bewildered, said she hadn't intended to be hurtful, and since nothing unusual had happened at home she hadn't seen any reason to call me all week.
Question: A few weeks from now, in early June, my wife and my eldest son (who will be home from college by then) plan to drive more than 1,000 miles away to attend a cousin's graduation ceremony. I'll be staying home with another son who will still be in school here then.
Would it be rude of me to behave as my wife did five years ago? By that, I mean, would it be rude of me to not call my wife's cell phone at all while she is away on this road trip? If my wife does call home, would it be rude of me to react to her phone call the way she reacted to mine five years ago?
I'm inclined to think that it would be rude to treat her the way she treated me. I'm thinking that while it would be so tempting, I'd rather behave myself and treat her the way I wish I had been treated. (I'm thinking I'll feel better about myself if I take the high road here.)
But what do others think?
Edited to add a reference in the subject line to the update at post #36.