General Etiquette > Techno-quette

When someone reveals offensive views via facebook.

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Hmmmmm:
I have a BIL you has very different views on religion and politics. He occasionally posts something I think is very inflammatory. I choose to ignore those posts and don't click on the links. I don't love him any less for his beliefs or fault him for choosing to share his beliefs in any method he chooses.

katycoo:
You've regularly had chats with her in the past without censoring your topics of conversation and she has never once said anything to your face that you find offensive.  Her FB wall is a place where she can share her views as she pleases and you've handled that appropriately but there's nothing to suggest that she feels then need to convert you to her opinions.  I'd just carry on as you have been and only take action to distance myself if you see that she wants to espouse her opinions to your face.

Hillia:
My BIL posts very, very inflammatory things.  He also calls those who don't agree with him 'moron' 'idiots' etc ("Those morons actually believe xxx"  "The idiots in <group> want to kick your dog and burn your popcorn")  My personal favorite  ::) is 'libtard'.  Charming man.

I have to block him periodically because he just gets so offensive. Even people who share his views will call him on the things he says ("Dude, I'm pretty sure you didn't mean every person who's a <group> is secretly a Martian in disguise").  I'll unblock him now and then to follow what's going on with MIL/FIL - they're on FB but don't post much.

mime:

--- Quote from: HotMango on May 19, 2013, 06:54:45 PM ---I also have several friends and family on FB with whom I have vastly different views - socially, politically and religiously - although I don't think they realize it. I never post anything controversial on my page. Instead, I try to keep it light and fun most of the time. And I certainly don't engage them in any of their posts that I don't agree with or try to defend a contrary view. Really, what good would it do? They're not looking for a stimulating debate but rather confirmation of their views with people who think just like them. I just sigh and keep scrolling through my feed.


--- End quote ---

(bold added).
Well put.

I hoped that FB would be a way to keep current with friends and family. If a FB-friend's posts no longer concern their lives and what they've been up to since we last met, but become dominated with a series of rants that are meant to belittle or offend people with my views and beliefs, I block them. I connected with them to stay in touch and share parts of our lives, not to read hateful tantrums.

If these opinions become an issue in face-to-face interactions then I would express disagreement. Fortunately in those face-to-face interactions most people keep their emotions (and mouths) under better control for the sake of getting along with others and avoiding offense or argument. I don't view it as being phoney, but rather practical and courteous, and I happily extend the same courtesy.

CakeEater:

--- Quote from: katycoo on May 19, 2013, 11:54:34 PM ---You've regularly had chats with her in the past without censoring your topics of conversation and she has never once said anything to your face that you find offensive.  Her FB wall is a place where she can share her views as she pleases and you've handled that appropriately but there's nothing to suggest that she feels then need to convert you to her opinions.  I'd just carry on as you have been and only take action to distance myself if you see that she wants to espouse her opinions to your face.

--- End quote ---

I don't understand the idea that FB is somehow a private space for people to espouse all their opinions. FB puts your opinions right in my face, unless I choose to block them, so saying that all purple people are stupid on FB is like saying it right to my face.

Anything you choose to say on FB does affect real life relationships, because it is real life. FB is a method of communication. If the OP's relation were to print out the jokes and slurs and post them to everyone she knows, or phone everyone she knows and say the same thing, it would be exactly the same.

In my opinion, you shouldn't say anything on FB that you wouldn't say to everyone on your friends list in person.

All yous general.

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