Etiquette School is in session! > "Have you tried the bean dip?"

Polite bean-dip for polite inquiries?

(1/3) > >>

I get the idea of bean-dipping when someone's been rude.  But what about areas where the question itself is completely innocent, merely becoming difficult or awkward because of factors the other person doesn't know about?  I've had this happen a lot with my family.  The situation is a mess.  This means holidays or times when I'm flying home can be a veritable cornucopia of awkward conversations that I don't really want to have, set off by polite inquiries like "Aren't you looking forward to spending time with your mother?  You two should go out for dinner or something!"

Just using your example sentence, I'd say something like "Yeah, eating out at restaurants is pretty fun. What's the best restaurant you've ever been to?" Would that work?

Most of our family members truly understand "I would rather not discuss that right now".

I guess our families are weird in the non-pushy way.

We just recently had a  situation that was not ready to be discussed, and the slight brush-off, casual comment took care of the questions. The problem has become common knowledge now, so they know that in the long run all the questions have been answered.

We feel that way, too. We are now the older generation, very close, and are just preparing for the new 4th generation.

Yeah I'd agree something like that would work out. 

Like if someone had said "Well is your family coming out for the baptism?" I'd say "Well yes, my in-laws, my brother and his girlfriend, and my best friend will be there, I can't wait!" To me that is my family so it's not a lie and I don't have to go into the sticky business of why my parents aren't invited.

If someone asks about you spending time with your mother could you try "Well, we haven't made any plans yet.  We'll see what happens."?


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version