Author Topic: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.  (Read 3610 times)

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Specky

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2013, 10:04:00 AM »
I would never be bothered by a verbal or emailed thank you. 

SPuck

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2013, 10:23:40 AM »
So I don't get why you'd be more tempted to use the same wording for a letter you're typing than you would for an email you're typing.

I'm going from the perspective that it still creates a lot of work which might entail some people to cut corners. With an e-mail or a hand written thank you letter you create it than send it on it's way. Typing something out, printing it, signing it, then sending it creates extra steps some people might not tempted to take. I wouldn't but some people might. For me the actual content of the message is more important than how it is sent. I would rather get something that is written specially to me through e-mail than something that has been sent to fifty other people through mail with just the name changed.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2013, 10:27:00 AM by SPuck »

TootsNYC

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #17 on: May 21, 2013, 10:37:03 AM »
Yes, but email can ALSO be the same wording; and a letter (whether handwritten or typed) can be duplicated.

Especially w/ a gift-giving event with a large guest list, like a bat mitzvah.

I wrote about 100 thank-you notes for my wedding, 75 for my shower. All by hand. And believe me, the wording was the same for many, many of them. I had about 4 basic formulas, and I *did* try to make sure I wrote something different to daughters/mother groups and sister groups, so that if they compared notes, they'd see I wrote something different.

But I ran out of all that much personal to say, especially when the gift was money. (I did assign different people different parts of the sofa--"thank you for the left arm of our new sofa we're going to buy"--but otherwise, there wasn't that much personal to say.)

If I were doing it by email, I'd probably do exactly the same thing.

Thipu1

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #18 on: May 21, 2013, 11:08:54 AM »
When you have to write a lot of TY notes, they do all start to go into a sort of boilerplate.

'Dear Aunt Herbert and Uncle Edith,

It was lovely to see you at (celebration).

Thank you for your gift of X.  It is much appreciated and I/we will enjoy it and think of you while I/ we do so.

Best wishes to you in hopes I/we will see you soon again.

Love,

Bratleigh.'

Isn't that the way most TY notes go? 

There's nothing wrong with that, is there?


TootsNYC

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #19 on: May 21, 2013, 11:37:23 AM »
Nope. And for a gift of cash, I'd be perfectly content with that sort of a note.

Well, even for a personally chosen gift, I'd be *content* with that sort of note. But only content.

But if the gift is more personal than cash (or more personal than from a registry), I would *treasure* a thank-you note that was more clearly written only for me.

katycoo

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2013, 10:03:11 AM »
But if the gift is more personal than cash (or more personal than from a registry), I would *treasure* a thank-you note that was more clearly written only for me.

I think this sentence really highlights the different importance that people place on TYs.

I appreciate receiving a TY note.  I notice when I do not receive one (although I don't feeel slighted so much as I think they were lazy).  Verbal thankyous given directly to be are sufficient.  I'd rather receive none at all that a preprinted generic card that everyone gets which have become popular.

But I have never in my life treasured a TY note and cannot imagine circumstances in which I would.

This is not to cast any opinion on the fact that they are important and meaningful to you Toots, just that people are always going to feel differently about them.

Jocelyn

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2013, 10:26:30 AM »
I'd say to tell the young lady to make up a personalized note- perhaps using clip art, or perhaps using decorative paper- something other than just putting a plain typed note on a plain piece of paper.  Putting the typed note on a decorative background and then embellishing it like a scrapbook page should more than take away any feelings of hurt that it wasn't sufficiently personalized.

FoxPaws

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2013, 12:44:04 PM »
I always thought the problem with typed notes was that they were not personalized. The assumption was that typing was a specialized skill that secretaries had and that if a note was typed it had come through the secretary and wasn't personal.
This is an important point. Sometimes the rules of etiquette need to be updated and expanded to keep up with the changing times and advances in technology.

But I have never in my life treasured a TY note and cannot imagine circumstances in which I would.

This is not to cast any opinion on the fact that they are important and meaningful to you Toots, just that people are always going to feel differently about them.
There is also the environmental factor - for those of us that aren't sentimental, paper notes just end up in the recycling bin. I'd just as soon get an email or a verbal thanks.
I am so a lady. And if you say I'm not, I'll slug you. - Cindy Brady

Arrynne

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2013, 12:54:56 PM »
In this situation the keyboard is an adaptive device, not a shortcut or a cheat.  It allows the child to work around a disability.  We wouldn't ask someone who needed crutches or a wheelchair to give up their adaptive devices.  I don't think any mention of Ginny's disability needs to be made in the note. Many of the people receiving the notes will know Ginny well enough to know that she was doing the best she could by typing the notes.  For those that don't, they will hopefully be pleased to have their gift recognised with a written thank you, and not be judgy about handwritten vs. typed.

TootsNYC

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Re: Bat Mitzvah Thank You Notes.
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2013, 08:39:24 PM »
But if the gift is more personal than cash (or more personal than from a registry), I would *treasure* a thank-you note that was more clearly written only for me.

I think this sentence really highlights the different importance that people place on TYs.

I appreciate receiving a TY note.  I notice when I do not receive one (although I don't feeel slighted so much as I think they were lazy).  Verbal thankyous given directly to be are sufficient.  I'd rather receive none at all that a preprinted generic card that everyone gets which have become popular.

But I have never in my life treasured a TY note and cannot imagine circumstances in which I would.

This is not to cast any opinion on the fact that they are important and meaningful to you Toots, just that people are always going to feel differently about them.

You know, I should probably say that I'd still toss that thank-you note. But I'd keep it around for a week or two, and I'd remember it for a long time. It would have a bigger effect on my relationship with that person.