Author Topic: Redundant forwards from parents  (Read 3206 times)

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JacklynHyde

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Redundant forwards from parents
« on: May 20, 2013, 05:30:55 PM »
This has been happening with greater frequency over time.  My mother will send out a forwarded email (usually a joke, sometimes a large attachment of photos or PowerPoint).  A day later, my father will send out the same forwarded email.  This has gotten so problematic, my brother has flagged both of our parents' addresses to spam (which means I have to send him a note or call him if they have something important to say). 

I have previously taken my father to task about the content of his forwarded email, explaining it is inappropriate to send jokes about octogenarian Scrabble to his daughter.  However, now I need to find a polite way to let them both know their double-downing on email forwards is alienating behavior.

Suggestions?

Amava

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2013, 05:38:29 PM »
Just delete every email from them that indicates it's a forward, and only read emails that are titled as clearly personal messages?

PastryGoddess

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2013, 05:40:13 PM »
Just tell them outright.  I had to do that with my Mom after I went away to college.  I told her because she kept sending me those forwarded jokes, all of her mail was going to go to spam  It only took a couple of months of me not responding to anything to get her to stop.

AvidReader

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2013, 05:51:49 PM »
DH had this problem when his 75 y/o DF got an email account a number of years ago.  We'd get the FW:FW:FW ad infinitum of the jokey emails from him.  Finally, DH sat down with his father and said that he just doesn't have the time to read anything but informative emails, so please stop as he automatically deletes them.  It took a while for the "new" of email to wear off of dear old dad, but eventually he stopped sending them (at least to DH).

TootsNYC

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2013, 11:35:51 AM »
With your own parent, I'd suggest sitting down and helping them create a group to use for forwards. With your name NOT on the list.


artk2002

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2013, 03:27:40 PM »
This has been happening with greater frequency over time.  My mother will send out a forwarded email (usually a joke, sometimes a large attachment of photos or PowerPoint).  A day later, my father will send out the same forwarded email. This has gotten so problematic, my brother has flagged both of our parents' addresses to spam  (which means I have to send him a note or call him if they have something important to say). 

I have previously taken my father to task about the content of his forwarded email, explaining it is inappropriate to send jokes about octogenarian Scrabble to his daughter.  However, now I need to find a polite way to let them both know their double-downing on email forwards is alienating behavior.

Suggestions?

Stop doing the bolded/underlined. All you're doing there is allowing the situation to continue. If your brother misses something because he's blocked them, that's between him and them; by inserting yourself there you make yourself responsible for their communications which is always a bad idea.

If they are reasonable people then "Please stop with the duplicated forwards; it's filling my inbox and I may well miss important things in all the noise. I'd hate to miss out on Aunt Gertrude's eleventy first birthday because of that."

If they aren't reasonable, then there are no magic words that will get what you want without pain and anguish, so you have to decide which is more important, harmony or an uncluttered inbox.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

JacklynHyde

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2013, 04:19:50 PM »
Sadly, this is going to be painful or they're going to wind up in spam.  Mom sent me a forward last night that was flagrantly untrue, and I responded with a Snopes link refuting it.  Her answer?  She doesn't trust Snopes and their "research".  Okay, then.

Iris

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2013, 07:38:16 PM »
Sadly, this is going to be painful or they're going to wind up in spam.  Mom sent me a forward last night that was flagrantly untrue, and I responded with a Snopes link refuting it.  Her answer?  She doesn't trust Snopes and their "research".  Okay, then.

That one always makes me laugh. Don't you know that a random stranger on the internet is MUCH more reliable than any other credible source?  ;D

On the OP, personally, I would just go with a PP's suggestion to just delete anything that is a forward and only read personal messages. I would also stop translating for your brother. If he misses something it's his own fault, you are not his social secretary.

"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

JoW

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2013, 02:58:22 PM »
I have a similar problem with my mother.   She sends me articles from on-line newspaperss.  My e-mail program allows me to set up "rules".  I have rules that send her newspaper articles to the trash as they arrive.  I'm about to do the same with messages that start with "fw:fw:"  That way I'll still get real news from her, but not editiorials from the New York Times and updates on life events of distant relatives I've never met.

checkitnice

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2013, 07:15:27 PM »
Suggest to your brother that he modify his filter to only exclude their emails that contain "fw" in the subject.  And then do the same for yourself.  I did it with my father's email address YEARS ago and it's been so nice.  He'll occasionally ask me if I got something, and I just say "nope" and beandip.

JoW

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2013, 08:01:39 AM »
.......ask me if I got something, and I just say "nope"........ 
I tried that with mom.  It backfired.  When she learned I hadn't seen her latest trash she would send it again.  I now tell her "I saw it and deleted it.".  I don't tell her that I didn't read it.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2013, 01:02:41 PM »
.......ask me if I got something, and I just say "nope"........ 
I tried that with mom.  It backfired.  When she learned I hadn't seen her latest trash she would send it again.  I now tell her "I saw it and deleted it.".  I don't tell her that I didn't read it.
Yes but if you filter it, then even if she sends it again, it'll go into the trash.

JacklynHyde

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2013, 01:22:06 PM »
I think my brother has already set his spam folder to catch the FW stuff from my mother.  My father, on the other hand, deletes that from his forwards, so my brother tends to delete his stuff completely unless I let him know my grandfather or mother is sick.  That's when he takes our father off spam filter.

wyliefool

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Re: Redundant forwards from parents
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2013, 01:11:55 PM »
You can try refining the spam filter. Several years ago I had to write a lengthy set of outlook rules at work. They went something like this

Emails from [certain addys]
  or subject matter contains [fwd, singles, mortgage, christian, obama, c!alis, ...]
  unless [from certain people not spammers]
  send to trash

YOu could add something like
  unless body contains [grandpa, grandma, aunt gertie, birthday]

That way, you filter out emails from the parents that don't contain any keywords that might indicate they're not spam. Should work better. Any emails that you still miss, oh well. It's 2013, time for the email fwdfwdfwd craze to die.

Requires a bit of up-front work, but is worth it for the reduction in annoyance.

(Apparently our IT dept has gotten much better as I haven't had to update these rules in a long time )