General Etiquette > general

Showing up unannounced and unvited

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I have a neighbor who shows up from time to time without calling first. He's from France, so I'm wondering if it's socially common and acceptable where he's from. I think it's rude and intrusive, I feel like I don't have privacy because of it. I don't know if it's because of where I grew up (So Cal, where we commonly don't know our neighbors well), but I feel like it's rude to just ring someone's doorbell without calling first IF you have their number. Is it bad etiquette to just stop by without being invited in this situation? Next time I see him, I'm going to ask him to call first, but I'm curious as to how rude it is. Tonight he stopped by and I stepped out of my apartment, closing my door behind me. I did not invite him in, I didn't invite him over in the first place.

Thanks for the input!

Unless he's from very, very rural France, this is not normal.

Next time he drops by, immediately remember that you were about to go somewhere urgently. "Sorry, I can't chat, I'm late for an important appointment! Can you let me know next time before you're going to come over? I'd hate for this to happen again! Thanks!" And leave before he comes in or gets settled. Repeat as necessary.

Act surprised - "Oh Neighbor, I wasn't expecting you.  I'm afraid can't visit with you right now."  If you want to chat at another time, I'd add in a line about him calling ahead from now on.

I don't think he's rude, and I don't think you're rude either. If you (general) show up unannounced and uninvited you run the risk of being unwelcome (where "unwelcome" can mean anything from "I'd love to see you another time, but can't right now" to "Get away! Now!").

I live in a rural village in England. My friends and neighbours quite often turn up "unannounced and uninvited" , and I do the same, for all kinds of reasons. I don't see it as rude at all -- if it isn't convenient I don't invite them them in, or may not even answer the door.


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