General Etiquette > Life...in general

Showing up unannounced and unvited

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cicero:
how often are we talking? and when you say "shows up" - what does that mean? he wants to borrow a cup of sugar or he wants to hang out or wants to see if you want to grab a pizza?

depending on the situation, i don't think it's necessarily rude. if i need to to stop by a neighbor's house to borrow/return something, I wouldn't think of calling first (unless i was asked to please call first).  If it was to hang out - depends on the neighborhood culture. in my previous life, in a suburban atmosphere where everyone had a bunch of kids who were running in and out of everyone's home, and most of the moms didn't work, then yes - people would "drop by" all the time. where i live today, it's way different - I wouldn't just drop by if it were to "visit" with someone but I would if i need to borrow something

magician5:
I don't think it matters even a little bit whether people do this where he's from. Right now, he's here ("When in Rome...")

That's not a suggestion to turn him away rudely, but it's not at all rude to gently state your boundaries.

katycoo:
Noone is rude.

Its not rude to ring someone's bell.

It's not rude to be unavailable when your bell is rung.

perpetua:

--- Quote from: katycoo on May 21, 2013, 03:30:23 AM ---Noone is rude.

Its not rude to ring someone's bell.

It's not rude to be unavailable when your bell is rung.

--- End quote ---

This. Ringing a bell is to announce you're there. I don't see the need to telephone first to announce that you're going to ring the bell to announce you're there. If you don't want to socialise when someone rings the bell, don't invite them in.

I do not understand this rather silly notion that ringing someone's doorbell is so terribly rude and I'm glad I don't live somewhere where this is the case.

sammycat:

--- Quote from: perpetua on May 21, 2013, 03:41:44 AM ---I do not understand this rather silly notion that ringing someone's doorbell is so terribly rude and I'm glad I don't live somewhere where this is the case.

--- End quote ---

Same!

Different people have different levels of comfort re. guests/people dropping by, so I don't think anyone in the OP's scenario is either right nor wrong; just different.

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