Regarding Claudia's ancestry, I should have stated that dating sites (at least in the USA) tend to include "Hispanic/Latino" as an ethnicity. But Claudia marked "White/Caucasian/European" not only because she is of Italian ancestry, but because she does not want a particularly nasty stereotype about Latinas to be held against her.
In the Plenty of Fish site, the lowest option actually is "less than a year". I do not know if that is better or worse than to break ut down into "less than six months" and "between six months and a year". I do not consider several (meaning more than 3) dates in the span of 6 months to be tremendously short. In fact, if you make it to the third date, it likely means that there is nothing wrong with you and that there is even something desirable about you. But some people are really judgmental about other people not having been in a relationship before. Hence Suzanne put the "between 6 months and a year" option.
The older you are the more the fact that you haven't been in a long term relationship is worrying. Because it makes you wonder why. Is it because they just had bad luck and never found someone? Is it because they are so busy with other things they didn't have time for it then? Is it because they have unrealistic expectations of relationships? Is it because there is something wrong with them?
All or none of them could be the reason but I admit that I am not looking to be someone's first big relationship at this point in my life. They could be perfectly wonderful, but I don't want to go through those growing pains right now.
I am glad my boyfriend (of almost 13 months now) did not feel that way. He is my first serious relationship. Before meeting him, my longest relationship was pretty similar to Suzanne's case. I am happy that he gave me a chance. And he is happy too.
And how old are you? Like I said - the older you are the more of a difference it makes. What I wouldn't see as a big deal in a 17 year old I would see as a concern in a 35 year old and as a huge red flag in a 65 year old.
And I am glad that you guys are happy. I would not be - which is why hiding things like that doesn't really do much good - do you really want to attract someone with those issues?
I still don't think it matters...it's not something that needs to be disclosed up front. There are many people that haven't beein in long term relationships
(even in their mid thirties and beyond) because of many different aspects...ranging from reasons such as they chose not to get serious with someone they couldn't see themselves marrying, consentrating on work, to be being really weird.
There are also people who have been in long term relationships
and then had them end for a wide range of reasons...some would be concerning/red flags and others would not.
I could not judge someone based on their relationship
history alone and I even feel that knowing too much about their relationship
history has a danger to bias me in the wrong direction. I did not disclose my past to my DH (or other dates) fully until we were far enough in the relationship
where discussing it made sense...and that was not on the first date, and it was definitely not with everyone. I wasn't totally secretive about it or anything, I had nothing to hide, and would answer the "how long was your last relationship
" question when asked, but it's not something that I feel is totally relevent in getting to know someone or judging whether or not they would be someone I would like to get to know better.
I get that it probably matters to some more than others and there isn't necessarily anything wrong with that. If dating
history is really important to someone, then saying that upfront is nice...I just don't personally think it's something that is important to everyone across the board (and not to me at all).