Author Topic: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?  (Read 9896 times)

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stitchygreyanonymouse

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Re: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?
« Reply #60 on: May 24, 2013, 02:54:20 PM »
I've said often that I'd never have dated my SO if I'd met him on a dating website. The. man. can. not. spell. Meeting him in person, I think I'd actually known him as an acquaintance for years before ever seeing anything he'd written, and the spark was already there. On a dating website I'd have just seen a badly spelled profile and clicked the Back button.

Iím glad Iím not the only one! My SO has amazing verbal communication skills, but he cannot write to save his life. Had we not known eachother for years prior to starting to date, thereís no way I would have been willing.

TurtleDove

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Re: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?
« Reply #61 on: May 24, 2013, 02:56:53 PM »
blarg has it right, although I prefer to think of this in a more positive way.  It's not that there is anything "wrong" with any particular trait but rather that some people are compatible and some people are not.  I agree it makes the most sense to be honest about who you are and what is important to you, because if you want an actual relationship you will want to be with someone who likes the REAL you, not the you that you think will be most attractive to some random and unidentified person who might read your dating profile.

whiterose

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Re: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?
« Reply #62 on: May 27, 2013, 06:55:04 PM »
In conclusion:

1) If a man is attracted to women with thin arms, it is his responsibility to seek out women whose profile pics show their thin arms. Not to take a risk with Emma wearing attire that covers them, going on a couple dates where she covers her arms (while at the same time complimenting her otherwise beautiful figure), then upon seeing her uncovered not so thin arms, giving her a look of shock and disgust and ending the date early (or worse, calling her a liar and telling her she has fat arms to her face). Emma did nothing wrong in wearing flattering clothing in her pics that emphasize her beautiful face/figure/legs while covering the arms she feels are not her best asset.

2) IMHO (and this is just my opinion, please no flames or hurled tomatoes), a man who is uncomfortable dating a woman from Latin America who is of Spanish or Portuguese ancestry (for whatever reason) will probably not be tremendously happy with an Italian woman either, regardless of where she moved to his city from, due to cultural similarities. But if a man does not want a woman from a Latin culture, he needs to not only look for "White/Caucasian/European" under ethnicity, but also stick to women whose pictures clearly show they are of Northern European or Eastern European ancestry (and if possible, that give other clues to this on their profile), rather than taking a chance with a woman that looks more Mediterranean- then calling her a hothead once he hears her Spanish accent. So whether Claudia truly just identifies as more "White/Caucasian/European" than "Hispanic/Latina", or she is simply avoiding idiots who make interesting assumptions about her temperament and call her names about it, she is not committing deceit.

3) If a man wants a woman who has previous relationship experience, he should probably look for women who are divorced, widowed, or whose longest relationship was over a year long. Not take a gamble with one that stated "less than a year"/"between 6 months and a year" (whatever is available on the site) hoping that it was 11 months long- then several (otherwise fantastic) dates down the road finding out that Suzanne had only dated someone casually for around 6 months before him, assume that there is something pathologically wrong with Suzanne, and dumping her.

Agree? Disagree?
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Surianne

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Re: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?
« Reply #63 on: May 27, 2013, 10:43:54 PM »
Are these situations that have really happened to you or a friend?  They seem so bizarre to me...I have trouble thinking a guy would really call any of these women a liar or make these assumptions.  So it's hard to wrap my head around them as potential scenarios to agree or disagree with. 

All three of these imaginary/not-so-imaginary guys sound like they're just jerks and looking for excuses to treat women badly.  If they're real people, I'd say the woman/women involved got lucky in getting away from them.

whiterose

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Re: Small misrepresentations- marketing, or deceit?
« Reply #64 on: May 28, 2013, 07:32:48 AM »
They are embellishments of situations that have happened to me. And not just with dating- but also in ballet class, membership in organizations, at a one job, and with platonic friends. I never got bullied about my weight in elementary/secondary school- but some people in other circumstances did notice my big arms. In some cases, people fixate on my ethnicity to the point where they cannot see my hobbies/talents/virtues/quirks- and in the dating context, more than once has that one nasty stereotype about my ethnicity come up (and no others, even though I can tell you negative stereotypes about my ancestry involving all 7 deadly sins, not just wrath). And I can think of at least one person who stopped being such a close friend to me because she had such good luck in romance and I did not. I admit- thin arms is something very unusual to be specifically attracted to- but my having big arms and their being noticed by some people did make me put that example, rather than a more common and obvious one.

I am just glad I do not have to worry about things like these anymore, since I have finally found the right person. But I do think too much and have an overactive imagination.
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