Author Topic: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?  (Read 20575 times)

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Twik

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #105 on: May 22, 2013, 11:54:26 PM »
Pod to *inviteseller.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #106 on: May 23, 2013, 06:18:05 AM »
Pod to *inviteseller.

Make that two PODS
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mrkitty

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #107 on: May 23, 2013, 06:26:32 AM »
Make that three.
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KenveeB

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #108 on: May 23, 2013, 08:24:21 AM »
The problem here is not her father coming in which a lot of posters seem hung up on to the point of applying some interesting assumptions to OP and her Dad.  It is how to get OP, who is already in a daunting medical crisis to also learn to stand up to a nasty piece of work manager who has neither a heart nor a brain.  OP has shown medical documentation to the powers that be and asked in advance for time off for Dr's appointments and was denied.  So, it is time to stop asking.  Write down the appointments along with copies of any documents you have pertaining to them and hand it to manager and say "I am unable to work these days due to these appointments." And walk away.  If she schedules you, remind her ONCE, that you have given her documentation in advance that you have appointments and will NOT be in.  Walk away.  If they write you up for a no call, no show, they have to prove you did give her documentation (keep a notebook of day you gave said documentation and always hand it to her instead of leaving it on a desk) and you can refute the write up in your own hand writing on the forms.  If they decide to fire you, apply for unemployment and they have to prove they were justified.  If you documentdocumentdocument, and have written rebuttals on any and all write ups they will have to show good cause for the firing and it doesn't look good in their favor.
And on the tangent of what is a come to deity meeting...everyone I have ever had or had done to me was not yelling or screaming, but the tome and demeanor was one you said "yes sir!' " yes ma'am" to.

Is she being denied, or is her manager just giving her a hard time? The OP talks about the manager "having a hissy fit", rolling her eyes, or "brushing her off" by telling her to just take a pill, but she doesn't say she's actually been denied the time off.

I think the issue with her father is relevant because it seems like part of the overall attitude problem. My original advice was "take this up calmly with the manager's superior or HR." This is a situation to act professionally in -- raise the issue to the appropriate people, document the problem (as you say), and keep calm and professional. Attitudes such as "she's just throwing hissy fits", "she's nicer to the pretty college kids than to me," and "if you don't do what I want, I'll have Daddy come in and yell at you" are absolutely not the way to handle the problem, but they're all what came across in the OP. Addressing that is important in order to raise the issue in the manner that's likely to get the result OP needs. Isn't that what matters?

What attitude problem?  The boss is throwing hissy fits about her needing time off for medical appointments (I have seen this in bosses), she makes a comment about disparity in treatment of employees (who among us has not seen this in a work place???) and NO WHERE does OP say she is making her father go and fight her battles...her father took it upon himself to talk with the store manager after his daughter suffered a serious medical crisis at work and was not allowed to leave.  You have painted the OP as a supreme special snowflake where I see it as a young girl trying to take care of her health and keep a job and is having trouble with a difficult manager and wants to know how to handle it.  She is being denied time off for medical treatments but sees co workers get requested time off for fun stuff, she is told she can't leave during a medical crisis (which leaves her employer open to all sorts of legal stuff) but yet instead of walking out (which I commend her highly for), she is trying to figure out the polite way to handle this with the mean manager.

The attitude I described as coming across in my post you responded to. Thinking of the boss as throwing "hissy fits", thinking "the boss is just favoring the pretty college girls", and thinking "Daddy having a 'come to deity meeting with my boss is a good thing". It frankly doesn't matter if she "made" her father go in or not, because her boss doesn't know that. And she thinks it's a good thing that he did, which is going to come across as well. Those are all problems when you're trying to be taken professionally. OP's question is how to get the seriousness of the situation across. My answer -- just like it was 8 pages ago -- is to stop complaining about all of the extraneous stuff and actually address the issue at hand in a calm, professional manner with the people who actually have the power to do anything about it. If she does that and no one listens, then you can talk about needing to bring in advocates and being denied care in a medical crisis, etc. She needs to address the issue. That's what professionals do. And for this job and every job she has in the future, that is what is going to do her the most good.

TurtleDove

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #109 on: May 23, 2013, 09:07:37 AM »
POD to KennveeB. From this thread and others, I fear the OP is viewed by her employer and coworkers as a negative complainer, who does not like or respect her bosses or coworkers. This is based on the tone and attitude KenveeB articulated. I can see that the OP's dislike of her employment situation may have some validity, but unless she is going to quit and find another job, she will be best served by changing her negative attitude. Be more of a "I can do this" person than a "but I have this disability" person. Take charge, be happy and friendly at work, and address actual issues, like time off for doctor's appointments, instead of subtle disdain for the "cheerleader types."

fountainsoflettuce

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #110 on: May 23, 2013, 09:35:17 AM »
If I recall correctly, the OP is a bagger at a grocery store.  There's been a lot of good advice here but I don't think all of it is applicable to her job position.  Going home sick (saying "that's not possible") is in an office setting in one thing but is totally different in this type of job.  Saying this or something similar could cause a cashier or bagger to be let go.  Scheduling adequate coverage for cashiers and baggers is already difficult.  It becomes more difficult if the OP becomes too ill while on the job or before her shift as there is no longer adequate coverage.  Now the customers complain and possibly, Corporate comes down on Management.  Ultimately, Management probably views cashiers and baggers as easily replaceable. 

 So I can understand OP's frustration with that part of management not fully understanding or not wanting to deal with the issue.   With OP's limitations, there are not many employment options.  It is also possible that Management is frustrated with the OP - not necessary herself personally but with the situation, i.e. (thinking like a Manager for a minute - she (OP) has health issues and illness can be a serious problem but illness can't be predicted.  I'm trying to work with this with the scheduling but it is not always easy and I can't always give her what she wants or needs becuase I also have to accommodate person X and Y too.)

I do think the OP should avoid any negative attitude at work; put all requests in writing; and get into contact to HR and Corporate.  I don't think the OP will change anything with Management at this point.

Miss Unleaded

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #111 on: May 23, 2013, 09:47:50 AM »
The attitude I described as coming across in my post you responded to. Thinking of the boss as throwing "hissy fits", thinking "the boss is just favoring the pretty college girls", and thinking "Daddy having a 'come to deity meeting with my boss is a good thing". It frankly doesn't matter if she "made" her father go in or not, because her boss doesn't know that. And she thinks it's a good thing that he did, which is going to come across as well. Those are all problems when you're trying to be taken professionally. OP's question is how to get the seriousness of the situation across. My answer -- just like it was 8 pages ago -- is to stop complaining about all of the extraneous stuff and actually address the issue at hand in a calm, professional manner with the people who actually have the power to do anything about it. If she does that and no one listens, then you can talk about needing to bring in advocates and being denied care in a medical crisis, etc. She needs to address the issue. That's what professionals do. And for this job and every job she has in the future, that is what is going to do her the most good.

I didn't get the impression that she thought it was a good thing.  I thought she was pretty neutral about it.  I also got the impression that if she was so sick she had to go to hospital, she probably wasn't in much of a state to deal with the manager.

I think you phrased this way too harshly, and I don't really see evidence of an 'attitude problem' here.

POD to KennveeB. From this thread and others, I fear the OP is viewed by her employer and coworkers as a negative complainer, who does not like or respect her bosses or coworkers. This is based on the tone and attitude KenveeB articulated. I can see that the OP's dislike of her employment situation may have some validity, but unless she is going to quit and find another job, she will be best served by changing her negative attitude. Be more of a "I can do this" person than a "but I have this disability" person. Take charge, be happy and friendly at work, and address actual issues, like time off for doctor's appointments, instead of subtle disdain for the "cheerleader types."

Is there a backstory here?  I don't know which other threads you are referring to.

Tabby Uprising

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #112 on: May 23, 2013, 09:50:07 AM »
If I recall correctly, the OP is a bagger at a grocery store.  There's been a lot of good advice here but I don't think all of it is applicable to her job position.  Going home sick (saying "that's not possible") is in an office setting in one thing but is totally different in this type of job.  Saying this or something similar could cause a cashier or bagger to be let go.  Scheduling adequate coverage for cashiers and baggers is already difficult.  It becomes more difficult if the OP becomes too ill while on the job or before her shift as there is no longer adequate coverage.  Now the customers complain and possibly, Corporate comes down on Management.  Ultimately, Management probably views cashiers and baggers as easily replaceable. 

 So I can understand OP's frustration with that part of management not fully understanding or not wanting to deal with the issue.   With OP's limitations, there are not many employment options.  It is also possible that Management is frustrated with the OP - not necessary herself personally but with the situation, i.e. (thinking like a Manager for a minute - she (OP) has health issues and illness can be a serious problem but illness can't be predicted.  I'm trying to work with this with the scheduling but it is not always easy and I can't always give her what she wants or needs becuase I also have to accommodate person X and Y too.)

I do think the OP should avoid any negative attitude at work; put all requests in writing; and get into contact to HR and Corporate.  I don't think the OP will change anything with Management at this point.

I really agree with you.  I think the OP, at this point, has nothing to lose by going to management and HR.  Even if she doesn't qualify for FMLA, there could be the possibility that upper management or HR are willing to work with her medical issues. And if she gets the support of the "big boss" and HR, her supervisors can be as snide as they want with her, but she has their superiors as back-up. 

When she needs to leave, she can tell her supervisors, "I am getting a migraine and I need to see my doctor immediately" and they can snark all they want, but she can go.  Later, she can email HR or the big boss (if she has already obtained their support) and say "Just to let you know, I had to leave due to a migraine today.  When I informed Supervisor they said..."

So the supervisors, even while they may never be pleasant, can't fire her or stop her from attending to her medical needs because they can't override the decisions of the higher ups.

Maybe OP won't be able to get any further assistance from management or HR, but she's at least got to try. 

audrey1962

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #113 on: May 23, 2013, 09:52:40 AM »
Pod to KenveeB.

DottyG

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #114 on: May 23, 2013, 12:06:12 PM »
Make that three.

A little late to the party here, but make that four agreements with **Inviteseller.  The OP doesn't have an "attitude problem" any more than anyone else here at EHell who comes to ask for our help does.  She relayed some facts that she's seen, and vented a little (who could blame her for needing to get it out - she's going through a lot right now), but she's certainly not the SS that some here are portraying her as.


Scuba_Dog

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #115 on: May 23, 2013, 02:02:08 PM »
My answer -- just like it was 8 pages ago -- is to stop complaining about all of the extraneous stuff and actually address the issue at hand in a calm, professional manner with the people who actually have the power to do anything about it. If she does that and no one listens, then you can talk about needing to bring in advocates and being denied care in a medical crisis, etc. She needs to address the issue. That's what professionals do. And for this job and every job she has in the future, that is what is going to do her the most good.

POD to KennveeB. From this thread and others, I fear the OP is viewed by her employer and coworkers as a negative complainer, who does not like or respect her bosses or coworkers. This is based on the tone and attitude KenveeB articulated. I can see that the OP's dislike of her employment situation may have some validity, but unless she is going to quit and find another job, she will be best served by changing her negative attitude. Be more of a "I can do this" person than a "but I have this disability" person. Take charge, be happy and friendly at work, and address actual issues, like time off for doctor's appointments, instead of subtle disdain for the "cheerleader types."

KenveeB and TurtleDove have it right and I'm in complete agreement with their opinion on the matter.

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ladyknight1

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #116 on: May 23, 2013, 07:36:21 PM »
Any updates, OP?

TexasRanger

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #117 on: May 23, 2013, 08:00:13 PM »
Any updates, OP?

I am off today, so I haven't had to mess with them.

The store is badly run ( customers even comment on it) and since the new boss, HR department fell apart. I can never find anyone to talk to.
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jedikaiti

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #118 on: May 23, 2013, 11:54:31 PM »
Is there a corporate office?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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blueberry.muffin

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #119 on: May 24, 2013, 08:00:15 AM »
My answer -- just like it was 8 pages ago -- is to stop complaining about all of the extraneous stuff and actually address the issue at hand in a calm, professional manner with the people who actually have the power to do anything about it. If she does that and no one listens, then you can talk about needing to bring in advocates and being denied care in a medical crisis, etc. She needs to address the issue. That's what professionals do. And for this job and every job she has in the future, that is what is going to do her the most good.

POD to KennveeB. From this thread and others, I fear the OP is viewed by her employer and coworkers as a negative complainer, who does not like or respect her bosses or coworkers. This is based on the tone and attitude KenveeB articulated. I can see that the OP's dislike of her employment situation may have some validity, but unless she is going to quit and find another job, she will be best served by changing her negative attitude. Be more of a "I can do this" person than a "but I have this disability" person. Take charge, be happy and friendly at work, and address actual issues, like time off for doctor's appointments, instead of subtle disdain for the "cheerleader types."

KenveeB and TurtleDove have it right and I'm in complete agreement with their opinion on the matter.

I also agree. I think knowing the backstory with this poster helps. I do wish the poster all the best.

I wanted to add one thing - I'm seeing a lot of "young lady" presumptions being used around here. When I was 23 - the OP's current age, based on her original post - I was starting my first year as a high school teacher. I cannot possibly imagine the fallout I would have had from the school if my father had shown up to speak with my principal. I highly doubt I would have held a job the following year. While I certainly sympathize with the poster for her difficult situation, I'm quite frankly astonished at the posters who are giving her leeway on this. I'm still part of the OP's generation (30 now), and believe me, it doesn't do my generation any favors to promote this sort of thing.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2013, 08:04:53 AM by blueberry.muffin »