Author Topic: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?  (Read 19936 times)

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TexasRanger

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #120 on: May 24, 2013, 09:31:38 AM »
Is there a corporate office?

Not really.

And to those still on the "daddy" thing. I was recovering from the Migrain AND was on morphine when this happened. I did not tell him to talk to the boss, I didn't even know he had done it until the next day.

I still live with my parents since i don't make enough to live on my own (a second job is next to impossible, my hours are too erratic and I barely anyone is hiring right now).  I would love to be living in my own house/apartment, but that is just not possible right now. To those who, I'm sure, will acuse me of "leeching" I pay for my own food and gas, I also help out as much as I am physically capable of.
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Tabby Uprising

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #121 on: May 24, 2013, 09:54:30 AM »
Any updates, OP?

I am off today, so I haven't had to mess with them.

The store is badly run ( customers even comment on it) and since the new boss, HR department fell apart. I can never find anyone to talk to.

Even if you aren't at work, you can still call your boss and try to talk to him over the phone or set up a meeting with him.  You don't need to wait until you are scheduled for work to reach out to your boss, especially if you have had a hard time in the past getting in touch with him. 

You say the HR department fell apart.  What does that mean exactly?  Is there anyone with an HR title at your store location?  Even if you don't have confidence in them, I think in light of your situation you still need to make an effort to at least talk to them.  And what does it mean that there's "not really" a corporate office?  Is there a corporate office? Is this a small mom and pop store or is it a larger chain?  Are the only HR employees the ones at your store?  Do you know who your boss's boss is? 

Again, just like with your boss, you don't need to be scheduled for work to reach out to your HR contact an set up a meeting.  You can meet with your boss and/or the HR contact on your days off too.  I don't know that anything helpful will come out of these conversations, but at the very least you've got to try.  You've got to at least address the issue.  I would not recommend not doing anything and then you have another medical need and find yourself repeating the broken cycle. 

TurtleDove

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #122 on: May 24, 2013, 10:05:59 AM »
I think it is better to NOT try to talk with HR or the boss at a time the OP is scheduled to work.  Presumably she should be working when she is scheduled to work, not going to HR. And POD to blueberry.muffin about the age issues. 

OP, I am curious how you know how other employees in your position are easily given time off?  Do you talk about this with them?

Lynn2000

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #123 on: May 24, 2013, 11:30:16 AM »
OP, sorry you're going through this, it sounds really stressful. I agree with others who have advised you to document all medical needs and appointments; put in for time off through the most strict, official, documented channels; and also log all disparaging comments made by your supervisors, to be sent to the head boss. I'm not saying this is actually going to fix the problem, but I think it's the most professional, CYA way to behave. It sounds like things are somewhat of a mess in the administration, so be the one who always has her ducks in a row. And if you need to leave, just leave. Yes, you try to make sure your supervisor knows you're leaving, but if we're talking a medical emergency where your next stop is the hospital, there's no need ask for permission or get into a debate with someone about it. Note, there is no guarantee this will let you keep your job, either; but at some point your immediate health needs trump your job.
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TexasRanger

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #124 on: May 24, 2013, 11:52:23 AM »
After the old boss left, most of the HR went with her. The peoPle we have now aren't that helpful. They (all three) will go to "lunch" for several hours each day.

Corporate rarely gets back to you if you call them.

I have seen several people go up to the manger and ask her if they can have x,y, and z days off to go to the beach/party/cruise. Other people (some have worked here decades) can't get a day off to see their children graduate. There is alot of favoritism at this location, other stores aren't as bad. I would transfer , but the good ones have no openings.
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DottyG

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #125 on: May 24, 2013, 01:15:14 PM »
Quote
I think knowing the backstory with this poster helps.

I agree that knowing a bit of backstory does help with how to respond in a thread.  The OP is in a grocery store as a bagger?  That's a crucial piece of information for my response here.


jedikaiti

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #126 on: May 24, 2013, 02:43:57 PM »
After the old boss left, most of the HR went with her. The peoPle we have now aren't that helpful. They (all three) will go to "lunch" for several hours each day.

Corporate rarely gets back to you if you call them.

I have seen several people go up to the manger and ask her if they can have x,y, and z days off to go to the beach/party/cruise. Other people (some have worked here decades) can't get a day off to see their children graduate. There is alot of favoritism at this location, other stores aren't as bad. I would transfer , but the good ones have no openings.

Network with the folks at the other locations. Make sure they know you're looking to transfer.
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Dragonflymom

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #127 on: May 24, 2013, 03:11:17 PM »
Is there a corporate office?

Not really.

And to those still on the "daddy" thing. I was recovering from the Migrain AND was on morphine when this happened. I did not tell him to talk to the boss, I didn't even know he had done it until the next day.

I still live with my parents since i don't make enough to live on my own (a second job is next to impossible, my hours are too erratic and I barely anyone is hiring right now).  I would love to be living in my own house/apartment, but that is just not possible right now. To those who, I'm sure, will acuse me of "leeching" I pay for my own food and gas, I also help out as much as I am physically capable of.

This comes across as awfully hostile to those who are attempting to give you advice to help you get ahead in your career and manage workplace issues effectively.

I recommend some work on being politely assertive, in order to get your needs met at work.  Roleplay with a friend, or practice in front of a mirror.  Sometimes it's hard to think of what to say and how to handle things in the moment, when the situation is urgent.

Best of luck!
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NyaChan

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #128 on: May 24, 2013, 03:24:01 PM »
Is there a corporate office?

Not really.

And to those still on the "daddy" thing. I was recovering from the Migrain AND was on morphine when this happened. I did not tell him to talk to the boss, I didn't even know he had done it until the next day.

I still live with my parents since i don't make enough to live on my own (a second job is next to impossible, my hours are too erratic and I barely anyone is hiring right now).  I would love to be living in my own house/apartment, but that is just not possible right now. To those who, I'm sure, will acuse me of "leeching" I pay for my own food and gas, I also help out as much as I am physically capable of.

This comes across as awfully hostile to those who are attempting to give you advice to help you get ahead in your career and manage workplace issues effectively.

I recommend some work on being politely assertive, in order to get your needs met at work.  Roleplay with a friend, or practice in front of a mirror.  Sometimes it's hard to think of what to say and how to handle things in the moment, when the situation is urgent.

Best of luck!

I'm not getting that sense at all.  She's making it clear that she did not - as some have implied or asked - ask her father to do what he did.  She is also making it clear that she was not given an opportunity to stop him from doing it beforehand.  Explaining one's circumstances so that people aren't forced to assume or guess is a useful method of keeping the discussion on point rather than chasing tangents.  Hostility is a long ways off IMO.

*inviteseller

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #129 on: May 24, 2013, 05:19:19 PM »
I don't see the OP as hostile at all..she is clarifying points for the posters who are, IMO being hostile to her.  Yes, at 23, I was living on my own, supporting myself (barely) , but I also did not have a potentially fatal disease and a crap job that stayed at because at least it is a job.  I give the OP a lot of credit for not going on disability or welfare, but is trying to work and be a productive member of society.  I too worked at a place like hers when I was 16..the one assistant manager had her favorites and if you weren't one, watch out.  The manager was a nice guy who could not or would not stand up to her even though he knew dingdangity well what she was doing to me and others.  Some people need to put themselves in OP's shoes and think of how it would feel to make little money and be unable to get anything else due to medical limitations and then to be harassed (quite illegally) by someone in charge..and then when you (general) ask for advice, you are ripped to shreds over one stinking thing that you didn't know was going to happen.  Let's all get off the fact that her dad went in, it is over and done, and come up with ways to help OP build up that shiny spine and stand up to the evil manager.

LeveeWoman

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #130 on: May 24, 2013, 05:26:08 PM »
I don't see the OP as hostile at all..she is clarifying points for the posters who are, IMO being hostile to her.  Yes, at 23, I was living on my own, supporting myself (barely) , but I also did not have a potentially fatal disease and a crap job that stayed at because at least it is a job.  I give the OP a lot of credit for not going on disability or welfare, but is trying to work and be a productive member of society.  I too worked at a place like hers when I was 16..the one assistant manager had her favorites and if you weren't one, watch out.  The manager was a nice guy who could not or would not stand up to her even though he knew dingdangity well what she was doing to me and others.  Some people need to put themselves in OP's shoes and think of how it would feel to make little money and be unable to get anything else due to medical limitations and then to be harassed (quite illegally) by someone in charge..and then when you (general) ask for advice, you are ripped to shreds over one stinking thing that you didn't know was going to happen.  Let's all get off the fact that her dad went in, it is over and done, and come up with ways to help OP build up that shiny spine and stand up to the evil manager.

FTW!


DottyG

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #131 on: May 24, 2013, 05:49:00 PM »
I'm not seeing "awfully hostile," either.


DottyG

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #132 on: May 24, 2013, 05:50:34 PM »
I don't see the OP as hostile at all..she is clarifying points for the posters who are, IMO being hostile to her.  Yes, at 23, I was living on my own, supporting myself (barely) , but I also did not have a potentially fatal disease and a crap job that stayed at because at least it is a job.  I give the OP a lot of credit for not going on disability or welfare, but is trying to work and be a productive member of society.  I too worked at a place like hers when I was 16..the one assistant manager had her favorites and if you weren't one, watch out.  The manager was a nice guy who could not or would not stand up to her even though he knew dingdangity well what she was doing to me and others.  Some people need to put themselves in OP's shoes and think of how it would feel to make little money and be unable to get anything else due to medical limitations and then to be harassed (quite illegally) by someone in charge..and then when you (general) ask for advice, you are ripped to shreds over one stinking thing that you didn't know was going to happen.  Let's all get off the fact that her dad went in, it is over and done, and come up with ways to help OP build up that shiny spine and stand up to the evil manager.

FTW!



FTW times 2 :)


Miss Unleaded

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #133 on: May 24, 2013, 05:52:29 PM »
I'm not seeing "awfully hostile," either.

Nor I.  The only real hostility I see here is coming from the posters who keep chastising her for something her father did while she was too sick to defend herself.

AngelicGamer

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #134 on: May 24, 2013, 05:53:05 PM »
I don't see the OP as hostile at all..she is clarifying points for the posters who are, IMO being hostile to her.  Yes, at 23, I was living on my own, supporting myself (barely) , but I also did not have a potentially fatal disease and a crap job that stayed at because at least it is a job.  I give the OP a lot of credit for not going on disability or welfare, but is trying to work and be a productive member of society.  I too worked at a place like hers when I was 16..the one assistant manager had her favorites and if you weren't one, watch out.  The manager was a nice guy who could not or would not stand up to her even though he knew dingdangity well what she was doing to me and others.  Some people need to put themselves in OP's shoes and think of how it would feel to make little money and be unable to get anything else due to medical limitations and then to be harassed (quite illegally) by someone in charge..and then when you (general) ask for advice, you are ripped to shreds over one stinking thing that you didn't know was going to happen.  Let's all get off the fact that her dad went in, it is over and done, and come up with ways to help OP build up that shiny spine and stand up to the evil manager.

FTW!


FTW times 2 :)


Times 3!  Even if I don't agree with the bolded (I'm a productive member of society and I'm on disability), I agree with everything else.




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