Author Topic: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?  (Read 22265 times)

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TexasRanger

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I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« on: May 21, 2013, 05:25:13 PM »
I have a rare and potentiolly life threatening medical condition and at times I have to go see several specialists (cardiologists, hematologist, neurologist, etc). My parent's insurance will only cover me until the day I turn 26 (3 years) and my health is going downhill. I only have one or two appointments per month and I try and ask off as soon as I can. My job is a non essential retail one (everyone at the store can do it) and so I am not leaving them short handed when I go. The problem is a certain manager.

She, and her crony, for some reason don't like me. I am on time or early every single day, I don't ask to go home early and I do a good job (customers ask for me). She will through a hissy fit the minute I tell her I need the day off (yet the pretty college kids can go en-mass to the beach and she is happy for them. ::)) My appointments are during the day, usually in the morning or afternoon.

My dad ended up going to the store manager and having a "come to diety" meeting after I had a migrain the ER doc said could of killed me. (I had asked to go home and the manager's crony brushed me off and told me to take a pill). That ended up with some changes, but not much.

What is the best way to phrase "I really need these appointments" without seeming SS? I have shown them the refferel slips, along with Dr's notes and she rolls her eyes.

I would work somewhere else if I could, but my two conditions make that hard right now.
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mrkitty

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2013, 05:29:11 PM »
I am so sorry to hear about your health problems. I wish you better health and a better manager.

I would recommend you escalate the matter to your company's HR division, and seek legal advice on your situation. I really feel for you and hope things get better. ((Gentle hugs))
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jedikaiti

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2013, 06:10:08 PM »
Yea, don't even bother talking to this manager until you've spoken with her higher-ups &/or HR. She doesn't need to know WHY you need the day off (beyond perhaps the words "doctor's appointments", they just need to give it to you. Explain the situation to HR, and if things don't improve, seek legal advice and a better job. The stress this idiot is causing you cannot possibly be doing your existing conditions any good.

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Oh Joy

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2013, 06:19:35 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

TootsNYC

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2013, 06:27:23 PM »
you should also stop caring if she rolls her eyes and ONLY worry about whether you get the time off.

Curious Cat

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2013, 06:28:29 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

KenveeB

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2013, 06:45:59 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

Agreed! OP is 23 years old, long past the time when Daddy should be interfering. This is something to take up calmly with this manager's superior and/or HR. If you're allowed this time off through company policy and it's not affecting your job performance otherwise, they have no right to refuse you your time.

jedikaiti

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2013, 06:49:50 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

Agreed! OP is 23 years old, long past the time when Daddy should be interfering. This is something to take up calmly with this manager's superior and/or HR. If you're allowed this time off through company policy and it's not affecting your job performance otherwise, they have no right to refuse you your time.

Very very true.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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Promise

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2013, 06:59:17 PM »
I think it's time to contact a disability specialist or HR .

KenveeB

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2013, 07:01:27 PM »
I think it's time to contact a disability specialist or HR .

I think it's too soon for that. It doesn't sound from the OP that she's actually brought up the issue before. I think that is the first step. You should never escalate without taking the first step. Always give someone a chance to fix an issue once they're aware of it. If they let the problem continue, then you escalate.

jpcher

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2013, 07:02:10 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

That's interesting that you say that.

If an employee tries to talk to you (yes, putting you, Curious Cat, in the first person due to the bold above) about serious health concerns and special needs, and you "through a hissy fit" the minute an employee tells you that she needs the day off due to medical reasons . . . are you seriously going to fire this person because her father came in to stick up for her?

That seems rather harsh, to me. Not being snarky, I'm just extremely curious as to your reasoning.

I can understand if the employee was a serious SS concerning laziness, not doing well at her job, asking for unwarranted time off (OP has Dr.'s notes) and simply cried to Daddy! Please save me! Yeah, that would be a no-go in my book, too.

But that doesn't sound like the OP's situation.

It sounds like OP is dealing with a nasty manager.

I agree that Daddy shouldn't have stepped in and OP should go through HR or upper management herself.



Yea, don't even bother talking to this manager until you've spoken with her higher-ups &/or HR. She doesn't need to know WHY you need the day off (beyond perhaps the words "doctor's appointments", they just need to give it to you. Explain the situation to HR, and if things don't improve, seek legal advice and a better job. The stress this idiot is causing you cannot possibly be doing your existing conditions any good.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

POD! 100%.

Moray

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2013, 07:07:25 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

Agreed! OP is 23 years old, long past the time when Daddy should be interfering. This is something to take up calmly with this manager's superior and/or HR. If you're allowed this time off through company policy and it's not affecting your job performance otherwise, they have no right to refuse you your time.

Very very true.

This.

1) Your father should not, can not, do this for you. You are 23. Your parents cannot wrangle with employers for you.

2) You must separate your need for days off from your manager's treatment of you and deal with both as the individual issues they are. Your manager's surliness should be dealt with via HR.

3) Regarding the actual time off? Well, to be frank, unless you qualify for FMLA or other protections, no one *has to* give you the day off, for any reason, ever. However, it sounds like you have some legitimate medical problems and could benefit from speaking to your HR department regarding corporate policies, including FMLA and you might possibly seek out a disability advocate.

Good luck.
Utah

KenveeB

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2013, 07:08:40 PM »
If an employee tries to talk to you (yes, putting you, Curious Cat, in the first person due to the bold above) about serious health concerns and special needs, and you "through a hissy fit" the minute an employee tells you that she needs the day off due to medical reasons . . . are you seriously going to fire this person because her father came in to stick up for her?

That seems rather harsh, to me. Not being snarky, I'm just extremely curious as to your reasoning.

I can understand if the employee was a serious SS concerning laziness, not doing well at her job, asking for unwarranted time off (OP has Dr.'s notes) and simply cried to Daddy! Please save me! Yeah, that would be a no-go in my book, too.

But that doesn't sound like the OP's situation.

It sounds like OP is dealing with a nasty manager.

I agree that Daddy shouldn't have stepped in and OP should go through HR or upper management herself.

The OP mentioned that her problem was with "a certain manager" and that Daddy talked to "the store manager." That sounds like two different people, with Daddy talking to the problem manager's superior. That is where I would have the problem. If one of my employees came to me with a problem with her immediate supervisor, I would address the situation. If one of my employees had Daddy come yell at me over a problem with her immediate supervisor, I might address the problem with the supervisor, but I would be much more likely to think that the employee was being a spoiled brat instead of an employee with a serious problem. And I would absolutely be reconsidering whether said employee was the right fit for that position if she can't even address problems with me herself instead of having Daddy come in to do it. That is never a position you want to put yourself in.

Curious Cat

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2013, 07:13:56 PM »
Your father, your health insurance, and peers' time off are all irrelevant.  Please speak with someone above this manager or in Human Resources, and address only your need for time off and their policies.

Your everyday professional mannerisms will suit just fine.

Best wishes.

I agree with this post. Everything else is superfluous, and frankly if you were my employee and your father dared to attempt to have a come to deity meeting with me you wouldn't be an employee for much longer.

That's interesting that you say that.

If an employee tries to talk to you (yes, putting you, Curious Cat, in the first person due to the bold above) about serious health concerns and special needs, and you "through a hissy fit" the minute an employee tells you that she needs the day off due to medical reasons . . . are you seriously going to fire this person because her father came in to stick up for her?

That seems rather harsh, to me. Not being snarky, I'm just extremely curious as to your reasoning.

I can understand if the employee was a serious SS concerning laziness, not doing well at her job, asking for unwarranted time off (OP has Dr.'s notes) and simply cried to Daddy! Please save me! Yeah, that would be a no-go in my book, too.

But that doesn't sound like the OP's situation.

It sounds like OP is dealing with a nasty manager.

I agree that Daddy shouldn't have stepped in and OP should go through HR or upper management herself.



Yea, don't even bother talking to this manager until you've spoken with her higher-ups &/or HR. She doesn't need to know WHY you need the day off (beyond perhaps the words "doctor's appointments", they just need to give it to you. Explain the situation to HR, and if things don't improve, seek legal advice and a better job. The stress this idiot is causing you cannot possibly be doing your existing conditions any good.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

POD! 100%.

Kind of a trick question though, because I'd never treat my employees the way the OP says she has been treated. But yes, if an employees parent felt the need to come in and yell at me, I would no longer feel the need to employ their child.  Grow up, go up the chain of command but don't go crying to daddy over it. 


OP - the above paragraph has nothing to do with you - I know your dad acted on his own, but I would still not allow an employees parent to ever, ever think they had a say in anything I did at work.

Zilla

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Re: I polite way to get the seriousness of this across?
« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2013, 07:27:26 PM »
Can you ask for a set day off in the week from your store manager, let's say Thursday and schedule all your appointments for that day?  That way you don't have to ask for it off and just go.  That's what several of my friends do that have chronic conditions.  And in the rare instance that they can't get a Thursday appointment they will of course ask it off, but that's more like once or twice a year rather once or twice a month.