Thanks for all the replies. My brothers wedding is planned for 2015. If I can get the venue for the reception I would like mine could be May next year. A simple registry office ceremony followed by a kick behind party at a cafe restaurant on the beach. Fun, informal, with a "free your inner child" kinda theme.
My ex and I are on good terms, and as the father of my children I would not be bothered if he was invited to family events on my side of the family.
My mother isn't taking my new well according to my sister, she said to my step dad "I don't even think I can go" well....kinda speaks volumes to me, but I will still be inviting her. Then the ball is in her court and she can come, or not. But if she makes a scene, she will be asked to leave. This is not about her. If she can't accept I am who I am, that's her issue, not mine. If she insists on making a judgment of my fiancÚ without meeting him, that's her issue, not ours.