News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • September 22, 2017, 11:13:27 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1172272 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

jaxsue

  • Member
  • Posts: 10343
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1290 on: December 09, 2013, 10:25:49 AM »
When I was at university there were a couple of students where he was FirstName Father'sLastName and she was FirstName Mother'sLastName. I remember them as being from one of the Nordic countries but it was a long time ago and that may be wrong. Certainly they said that was normal for their culture, and that it was taking the university some time to comprehend that John Smith and Mary Jones were twins. it didn't help, or maybe it did, that while obviously they weren't identical twins, physically they were very much alike.
They might have been from Iceland, where the children's last name is their parent's first name with a suffix specifying -son or -dottir (daughter).

So John Smith and Mary Brown's children would be named Bob Johnson and Sally Johnsdottir (i.e. John's daughter). Bob Johnson's children in turn would have the lastname Bobson or Bobsdottir.

It could be that the parents decided to split the naming between the two parent's so the son has the father's name (Bob Johnson) but the sister had the mothers name (Sally Marysdottir).
That's a holdover from the viking-era (and earlier) Norse naming practices.  It's a particular book-peeve of mine when a historical novel is laid in that era and place, but does not understand the naming practices.  (Yes, Catherine Coulter, I'm looking at YOU.)  There is no "Haraldsson family" and Ragnar Haraldsson's wife is NOT Inga Haraldsson -- she's Inga Eriksdottir.   (Disclaimer: I've just pulled Norse names out of the air here.  Don't remember if they were the actual names used, but Coulter did both of those things. Oh, and also fell into the trap of using "Viking" as if it was the name of the people, instead of a job description.)

Interesting. I'm into genealogy, and have a lot of Viking history in the family. That explains a lot of what I've found!

oogyda

  • Member
  • Posts: 4086
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1291 on: December 09, 2013, 10:28:58 AM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

bloo

  • Member
  • Posts: 1238
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1292 on: December 09, 2013, 11:40:53 AM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

Donna is hysterical and lightning quick!

OT but my DH has a name (let's pretend it's 'Mark') and ALL of his relatives refer to him as 'Marky' because his dad is also 'Mark'.

I loathe 'Marky' so I just call him 'Mark' and deal with the resultant confusion over 'which Mark?'

Carotte

  • Member
  • Posts: 1744
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1293 on: December 09, 2013, 01:59:30 PM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

95% of my SO's friends go by a nickname, it was pretty weird in the start when they mentioned my SO by his nickname, or for them when I talked about him with his real name.
Last week I got an email from a John, mentioning having talked about something at Peter's party in the mails header (I use gmail so have the start of the first line as a "preview"). Before I could open the mail I was like, "Who is John? do I even know a Peter?", after reading it I was "Oh yeah, Red, from that night at Mario's place!"  ::).

Anyhow, from the way our customers react you'd think the world has been keeping the bigest secret from them and they are now just learning about it, double-sided sticky tape, (and double sided wrapping paper). Yes it's very handy when we wrap your gifts, and I know you're just making conversation and blabling on about while you wait, but when 95% of your customers mention the exact same thing everytime it gets old quickly and you're left wondering what other high technology you're the only one aware of (erasable fountain pen ink? those mittens/fingerless gloves combo? rechargeable batteries?...)

cwm

  • Member
  • Posts: 2337
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1294 on: December 09, 2013, 02:13:24 PM »
I've had a couple of friends through the years who went by their middle names....however, their wives called them by their first names. 

I was out once with Donna and mutual acquaintance when she referred to "Frank".  Acquaintance said "Who's Frank?  I thought your husband's name was John."  Donna answered "Oh, Frank is the guy I sleep with." 
 :o

Donna is hysterical and lightning quick!

OT but my DH has a name (let's pretend it's 'Mark') and ALL of his relatives refer to him as 'Marky' because his dad is also 'Mark'.

I loathe 'Marky' so I just call him 'Mark' and deal with the resultant confusion over 'which Mark?'

My boyfriend goes by his first middle name. His legal name is Firstname Middlename Odd Lastname. Apparently the Odd is a family tradition and it's Scandinavian (not sure which country it's from).

His dad's name is Firstname Odd Lastname, with the first and last names being the same. So BF isn't technically a Junior because he's got an extra name in there, but he's always gone by his middle name, except in legal documents. It really threw me for a loop when I was house sitting last spring and brought his mail in, I was half convinced it was all for the wrong person.

A friend of ours has a weird name situation. Her given name is (falsified) Hannah. She was married to a guy, took his last name, had a kid. Kid was very ill and passed, Hannah got divorced, but kept the last name because she wanted to remember her son and distance herself from her family. She went by Hannah during all of this. Fast forward, she gets engaged again, to another guy with a different last name. They get married, but now she doesn't want to go by Hannah anymore, she wants to go by a different name entirely, which is a completely made up name. (She's admitted it's made up, I'm not just saying that because I'm not familiar with it.) So on Facebook her name is MadeUp Hannah MaidenName ExLastName LastName. So anyone who knows her as MadeUp finds it really confusing when half of her friends refer to her as MadeUp and Hannah in the same conversation.

Outdoor Girl

  • Member
  • Posts: 16323
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1295 on: December 09, 2013, 02:19:32 PM »
My Dad is the younger brother.  His older brother was named after their grandfather, Dad was named after his father.  So he has his legal name, Junior and another nickname that he got as a kid.  When my Aunt first came on the scene, she thought her boyfriend had 3 brothers.  It was a while before she figured it out.

Now, Dad is mostly known by his legal name.  But whenever we are with his family, he gets nickname.  And my brother decided his kids would call him Grampa Nickname when they were born.  So it sometimes gets a bit confusing.  Nobody calls him Junior, though.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Pen^2

  • Member
  • Posts: 857
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1296 on: December 09, 2013, 02:21:40 PM »
I knew someone from a very posh family where all the children would get fancy Victorian-sounding first names and plain middle names. You'd get Montague Ben [Surname], Benedict Tom [Surname], Archibald Greg [Surname], etc.

It was standard that they'd never actually go by the first name. Instead of Archibald Greg [Surname] being called "Archie", he'd always be called "Greg" from birth, and the "Archibald" bit was only for official stuff on paper to make him sound posher. Maybe it worked way back when, but all the ones I knew would always just write, "A. Greg [Surname]" when it was needed and leave it at that. Excepting passports and voting, I don't think they ever used their first names at all.

Shalamar

  • Member
  • Posts: 289
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1297 on: December 09, 2013, 03:43:59 PM »
One of my friends at work retired recently.  His name was Douglas, but he always went by his middle name, which was Larry.  When it came time for the Big Boss to make a speech about Larry, he constantly referred to him as "Douglas".  It wouldn't have mattered, except that this boss tried to pass himself off as a pal of the retiree (he's one of those bosses who likes to think that he's everybody's friend).

Pen^2

  • Member
  • Posts: 857
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1298 on: December 09, 2013, 03:51:08 PM »
One of my friends at work retired recently.  His name was Douglas, but he always went by his middle name, which was Larry.  When it came time for the Big Boss to make a speech about Larry, he constantly referred to him as "Douglas".  It wouldn't have mattered, except that this boss tried to pass himself off as a pal of the retiree (he's one of those bosses who likes to think that he's everybody's friend).

Hee hee! I shouldn't laugh at this, but it's somewhat karmic. I had a woman once make a similar kind of speech about me, and although she went on and on about all the good times we'd had together (I barely knew her), she pronounced my surname a different way each and every time she said it over the ten minutes. Even the people who knew neither of us were made aware that she was making stuff up.

Bluenomi

  • Member
  • Posts: 3439
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1299 on: December 09, 2013, 09:30:56 PM »
I think in general people are more flexible over how they chose to name their children. One of my aunts kept her own name when she married - the children (one born before they married, one after) both have her surname, no that of my uncle. And I've met quite a lot of people who either have daughters taking mother's name and sons taking father's name, or simply alternating

I mentioned this earlier, but my friend and her husband have two children (both born after they were married). The first child has the father's last name and the second child has the mother's last name. (My friend did not change her name upon marriage.) So the parents are Amy Adams and Bob Barker, and the kids are Carl Barker and David Adams. Thus two people in the household are Adams and two are Barker.

Personally I'm not a big fan... There's so many situations now where the names are just inherently complex (blended families, for example), it seems silly to me to intentionally create complexity. But, on the other hand, I think it's more of a personal preference, definitely not rising to the level of naming your kid Felon (in an English-speaking place) or something like that.

Friends of mine did this and the other parent's last name is the middle name. Son has dad's last name and daughter has mums.

Minmom3

  • Member
  • Posts: 2712
  • Life moves onward and upward
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1300 on: December 09, 2013, 10:36:24 PM »
On the middle name/nickname thing - I was known by my family nickname by nearly everybody until my mid-30's.  Didn't really use my full name until about then for much but legal paperwork.  My husband is known ONLY by him middle name, and a diminutive of it.  He has never ever used his first name that I'm aware of, not even as a little boy.  So, our wedding presents were instantly identifiable as to what side of us they came from - gifts from his side were addressed to "DH's middle name and my full name" and gifts from my side were addressed to "My nickname and DH's first name".  Only his immediate family used both family names.  It had us laughing the day we opened everything.
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

MariaE

  • Member
  • Posts: 5049
  • So many books, so little time
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1301 on: December 10, 2013, 01:38:55 AM »
Ereine, iridaceae: thanks for the thoughts.  My impression (based on no deep knowledge) about Scandinavian countries and languages, is that names ending in -a are more likely to be female there, than male: but I could be making an "interesting assumption".

"More likely" is true - at least for Denmark. I know of one traditional Danish male name that ends with an 'a'. But at least one exists, and there may be even more in the other Scandinavian countries. So I'd agree to "more likely" but not "solely". :)
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

bloo

  • Member
  • Posts: 1238
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1302 on: December 10, 2013, 08:43:20 AM »
Ereine, iridaceae: thanks for the thoughts.  My impression (based on no deep knowledge) about Scandinavian countries and languages, is that names ending in -a are more likely to be female there, than male: but I could be making an "interesting assumption".

"More likely" is true - at least for Denmark. I know of one traditional Danish male name that ends with an 'a'. But at least one exists, and there may be even more in the other Scandinavian countries. So I'd agree to "more likely" but not "solely". :)

"More likely" might also apply in Japan where it seems all female names end in '-ko'. Yoko, Mitsuko, etc. I know there may be other suffixes but I read of so many ending in 'ko' that it seems like they're all named '-ko'.

Virg

  • Member
  • Posts: 5409
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1303 on: December 10, 2013, 08:51:51 AM »
bloo wrote:

"
"More likely" might also apply in Japan where it seems all female names end in '-ko'. Yoko, Mitsuko, etc. I know there may be other suffixes but I read of so many ending in 'ko' that it seems like they're all named '-ko'."

At least one not-ko that popped into my head (mostly because Westerners tend to find it difficult to picture as a female name) is Hideo.  You're right, though, that -ko is a lot like -a in America, where the vast majority of names ending that way are feminine.

Virg

Pen^2

  • Member
  • Posts: 857
Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1304 on: December 10, 2013, 09:12:46 AM »
"More likely" might also apply in Japan where it seems all female names end in '-ko'. Yoko, Mitsuko, etc. I know there may be other suffixes but I read of so many ending in 'ko' that it seems like they're all named '-ko'.

Not all, but a lot, yes. The official numbers say it's at the end of about a third of all Japanese female names. It's just a common feminine suffix, like "-ette" in English. "-ko" is more common in Japanese than "-ette" in English, of course, but it's hardly ubiquitous. "-a" is another common feminine ending in English names, because in Latin (and possibly Greek, but I might be wrong here) it almost always denoted feminine gender for a noun. We don't have gendered nouns in English much anymore, though, except for things like boats and ships and sometimes countries.

"-ette" basically has connotations of small and dainty (originally "diminutive"), which was traditionally considered suitable for women, hence it's use in names. "-ko" means "small child", which is pretty similar. It's kanji 子 actually looks rather obviously like a small child with outstretched arms and a trianglely-shape for a head, which is kind of nice, because a lot of kanji are so abstracted or altered that you can't easily rely on them having a similarity to what they're supposed to represent.

Incidentally, "-taro" is a common male suffix in Japanese, and it can even be a whole name by itself. "Yamada Taro" is Japan's "John Smith". I know a few Kentaro, Jotaro, Shintaro, etc.