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Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1175109 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1590 on: December 27, 2013, 04:19:15 PM »
I am jealous of everyone who's mothers actually told themthe facts of life.  (We live in the South and the school's philosophy is: of course boys are going to get into trouble and want sex but girls should know better!)  My mother was too embarrassed to go over it with me so she handed me an illustrated book (it was NOT a scientific text, and maybe just 30 - 50 pages) and let me figure it out on my own.  I mis-learned a lot from friends and assumed they must know better than I did.

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder. 



did you mean orifice or organ?  Because the two organs are accessed through the same orifice

Ah - Mom told me a horror story about a young woman who had NOT ever seen a doctor before getting married...finally came in after her honeymoon in real pain.  She'd been told that things would be painful at first, when her hymen broke - but would not be painful after that.

Her hymen was unusually thick with a couple of tiny holes in it (so she'd been menstruating) but apparently she made it into the medical books (or at least that doctor's anec-data files) because it was also still intact...and what should have been an almost unnoticeable and slightly in front of the other opening was enlarged, inflamed, and....well...

The doctor got a scapel & cut the hymen, used a small mirror to show her where her lady parts were, and instructed her to tell her new husband that they needed to wait a few days for the inflammation to go down - then she needed to make sure that he got the right orifice....

The story was told me in Texas and was supposed to have happened in the fifties (or possibly earlier) as Mom said she'd heard it from a retired doctor who wasn't real clear as to WHEN it happened - but he'd practiced from the mid-thirties to the very early sixties....

I grabbed a mirror & watched while I went to the bathroom to make sure that I could tell which was which...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

checkitnice

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1591 on: December 27, 2013, 04:21:43 PM »
My coworker just asked me today "Is influenza A contagious?"  I replied that it was, that it was what my infant son had just gotten over.  "Oh, well isn't there a kind that isn't contagious?" 

...no, no there's not.  They're all contagious.   She walked away a little put out over that. 

Psychopoesie

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1592 on: December 27, 2013, 04:22:50 PM »
I am jealous of everyone who's mothers actually told themthe facts of life.  (We live in the South and the school's philosophy is: of course boys are going to get into trouble and want sex but girls should know better!)  My mother was too embarrassed to go over it with me so she handed me an illustrated book (it was NOT a scientific text, and maybe just 30 - 50 pages) and let me figure it out on my own.  I mis-learned a lot from friends and assumed they must know better than I did.

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder.

We had sex ed at school every year starting from about year 6 (so about 10-11 year olds) for which I am extremely grateful. Think it starts before that now.

I'm told that my grandma totally avoided the topic with her children. My eldest aunty married at 21 and the poor groom had to explain the facts of life on her wedding night apparently. This was in the 1940s. Mum was lucky to be the youngest sibling - her older sisters explained the basics.

VorFemme

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1593 on: December 27, 2013, 04:36:06 PM »
Apparently Mom got something along the lines of "you'll figure it out" from her rather Victorian mother - she might have gotten a little more information from her father - but since she'd gone off to college, she might have been able to do a little research at the college library.

Or not...it was a religious college, after all!  You might have had to have declared as a medical student to access those shelves...

Heaven knows that I've heard some real doozies of misinformation over the decades....none from Mom - just a very involved scientific explanation that confused me at four, at five, at six, and again every time she gave it to me until I gave up & bought a copy of "Everything That You Wanted To Know about S** But Were Afraid To Ask" as a senior in high school.

It was kind of the "Idiots' Guide To ____" precursor - and explained a lot of things that I knew the scientific terms for....but didn't know much about some of the other stuff.  I was told a dirty joke my freshman year of high school and didn't "get" the joke - nor did I understand the rather stumbling explanation of the girl who had told it to me.  But when you LOOK older than you really are - nobody believed that I really was that nave. 

Lil Sis didn't hit puberty until her senior year of high school - people did believe that she was that nave....
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Jones

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1594 on: December 27, 2013, 05:08:21 PM »
Would like to respectively request we move on from the current subject and explore a variety of "adults should know this" subjects...

Aside from an anecdote about one of my coworkers pulling a pickup truck into our shop, left the keys and beeper in it, and locked them in, I don't have much fodder for changing the subject myself, though. :-[
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis

Julian

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1595 on: December 27, 2013, 05:13:19 PM »
I had surgery last week, and a complication required that I had a catheter in because I couldn't pee.

Housemate, bless her, asked how I was supposed to pee with the catheter in.  I had to explain that it did the job for me.

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nutraxfornerves

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1596 on: December 27, 2013, 05:25:37 PM »
Not as egregious as some, but at least it doesn't involve body fluids.

I had a new employee, first-real-job-after-college, take me aside and discretely ask how the annual Christmas bonus to all employees was distributed. I had to explain ot her that that kind of Christmas bonus was usually a way to share the business profits with employees, and that, since we were a government agency, taxpayers would not exactly be thrilled with us making a profit, much less handing over tax dollars to staff. So, no bonus.

She was only familiar with the kind of large corporations that handed out annual bonuses and it never occurred to her that it was not a universal practice, or that it was tied to company profits.

At least she figured out why the office did not treat employees to a lavish annual holiday party. At that agency, more than one newbie (usually student interns) couldn't believe that any holiday party would be paid for by employees and would be on their own time.

Nutrax
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kckgirl

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1597 on: December 27, 2013, 05:36:57 PM »
I work for the government, too, and we all pay our own way; however, our parties are actually on a work day during work hours.
Maryland

kherbert05

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1598 on: December 27, 2013, 05:53:36 PM »
Not as egregious as some, but at least it doesn't involve body fluids.

I had a new employee, first-real-job-after-college, take me aside and discretely ask how the annual Christmas bonus to all employees was distributed. I had to explain ot her that that kind of Christmas bonus was usually a way to share the business profits with employees, and that, since we were a government agency, taxpayers would not exactly be thrilled with us making a profit, much less handing over tax dollars to staff. So, no bonus.

She was only familiar with the kind of large corporations that handed out annual bonuses and it never occurred to her that it was not a universal practice, or that it was tied to company profits.

At least she figured out why the office did not treat employees to a lavish annual holiday party. At that agency, more than one newbie (usually student interns) couldn't believe that any holiday party would be paid for by employees and would be on their own time.
I had to explain to several people why our faculty Christmas Party was LEGALLY required to have either a cash bar or no acholol. It is illegal for the school district to spend money on acholol. It doesn't matter that the social committee was paying for the party from our dues and isn't tax money. Most people were moving drinks out of the shot, before they took pictures just to be careful. A friend even scooted my coke out of the picture, because you can't tell from looking it isn't a rum and coke. (YOu could tell by the fact I was able to stand upright ;) .
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Elfmama

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1599 on: December 27, 2013, 06:04:14 PM »
I am jealous of everyone who's mothers actually told themthe facts of life.  (We live in the South and the school's philosophy is: of course boys are going to get into trouble and want sex but girls should know better!)  My mother was too embarrassed to go over it with me so she handed me an illustrated book (it was NOT a scientific text, and maybe just 30 - 50 pages) and let me figure it out on my own.  I mis-learned a lot from friends and assumed they must know better than I did.

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder.
Dh didn't know that until he was 60.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dr. F.

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1600 on: December 27, 2013, 06:07:51 PM »

I also knew girls in college that had no idea women have separate orifices for reproduction and bladder. 


did you mean orifice or organ?  Because the two organs are accessed through the same orifice

Ah - Mom told me a horror story about a young woman who had NOT ever seen a doctor before getting married...finally came in after her honeymoon in real pain.  She'd been told that things would be painful at first, when her hymen broke - but would not be painful after that.

Her hymen was unusually thick with a couple of tiny holes in it (so she'd been menstruating) but apparently she made it into the medical books (or at least that doctor's anec-data files) because it was also still intact...and what should have been an almost unnoticeable and slightly in front of the other opening was enlarged, inflamed, and....well...

The doctor got a scapel & cut the hymen, used a small mirror to show her where her lady parts were, and instructed her to tell her new husband that they needed to wait a few days for the inflammation to go down - then she needed to make sure that he got the right orifice....


OW. OW OW OW OW OW. OW!

Did she not get a UTI? Oh, and OW.

Hillia

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1601 on: December 27, 2013, 06:09:21 PM »
I once supervised a young man who had been raised by a single mom in a very, very sheltered style.  He'd been homeschooled, with no contact with other homeschoolers; their only contacts outside their home were members of their small, fundamentalist church.  He'd only been to the doctor once or twice in his life; no annual checkups, vaccinations, etc.  So when he became eligible for health insurance through the company, he had no idea how insurance worked: premiums, deductibles, copays, etc.  I was helping him understand the various options and had to explain that no, the company did not pay his costs after he met his deductible - he still had to pay, just a smaller amount.

VorFemme

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1602 on: December 27, 2013, 07:21:50 PM »
The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Sara Crewe

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1603 on: December 29, 2013, 12:43:23 AM »
The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.

I was once in a police van where this happened (on my way back from a site visit with my client) - the driver tried to go through a car lane at the tolls and took the flashing light bar off the top.

My client found the entire thing incredibly amusing.

Elisabunny

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #1604 on: December 29, 2013, 10:51:09 AM »
The time I went to the work at the car insurance place and found photos for a damage claim from a bank.  It seems that someone had tried to use the drive up teller machine - while driving a rented moving truck that was taller than the overhang on the machine.  They had left their debit card in the machine when they realized that the teller machine was going to be torn up by the moving van being stuck....so the bank knew who had been driving (and could confirm with footage from the security camera that it matched the guy who had the account). 

I was so glad that I was only required to forward the photos to the adjuster on the claim - instead of try to keep a straight face while talking to Mr. My 10 foot truck can go under the 9 foot six inch (measurements on bar restricting access to that lane) overhang (remember, I saw the still photos taken from the security footage).

I could only assume that he was so used to driving up in his regular vehicle, that he just "forgot" that the rented moving truck was NOT the same size....

Either that - or he was really, really bad at math.

I was once in a police van where this happened (on my way back from a site visit with my client) - the driver tried to go through a car lane at the tolls and took the flashing light bar off the top.

My client found the entire thing incredibly amusing.

The town where I went to college had an underpass that regularly trapped large trucks, in spite of having the height posted. 
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...