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  • December 11, 2017, 01:52:49 AM

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Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1292753 times)

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TootsNYC

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Well, "follow the money" has been decent career advice.

Sometimes I think we've had too many decades of "follow your dream."

Follow the money is decent career advice if you're primarily motivated by money and material possessions. Not everyone is, though. What's wrong with 'follow your dream'?

I'm reminded of this quote: I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. ~ Mitch Hedberg

The problem with telling kids to follow their dreams is it's not very practical. The number of people who have had to take crap jobs to live far outnumbers those who can make a living at what they love. And many of those that had to give up their dreams feel as though they failed somehow, because they gave up, even though it was the only way.

I'd prefer to amend "follow your dreams" to "follow your dreams, just make sure the mortgage is paid first."

I think that has been pretty  much the -only- career advice that's been given any weight.

in fact, the phrase in perpetua's comment that I bolded is actually so often used pejoratively. Crummy and selfish people are motivated by money. Crummy and shallow people are motivated by material possessions.

That's the subtext to all the career advice I ever heard, and still hear now.

And then you end up with people who could have enjoyed a more lucrative career, if they'd trained for it. But they didn't, and now not only can they not make money in their dream, but they're not trained for something more lucrative than what they had.

And meanwhile, people like the guy who started his own company paving roads in South Dakota has a pretty nice life, actually--he chose a lucrative employment, which gives him enough money and enough time to enjoy his family, and to life a relatively worry-free life (which also provided him enough stability to raise a couple of amazing kids and have a solid relationship with his wife). Plus money enough to do the leisure things he enjoys.

That is so often discounted.

I followed my dream. I make pretty decent (maybe more than decent) money at it.

But I tell you, I admire the people who regard their jobs as a means to an end.

ladyknight1

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  • Not all those who wander are lost
I found my passion in my field and I am very excited to work in that field and will not be purchasing luxury cars with my salary, but it should be double what I am making now.

ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

KenveeB

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Also, "follow the money" isn't necessarily bad advice, but "follow the money and go into medicine" is very poor across-the-board advice. Medicine isn't a quick path to riches these days, and not everyone is suited to a career in it even if it was.

CakeEater

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I find the 'follow your dream' thing interesting when it comes to sport. You see so many interviews with Olympians etc where they attribute their success to their hard work and dedication, and their family's support etc. And yes, they did have all those things. But plenty of people were exactly as dedicated, and worked just as hard, but were three inches too short, or not enough natural muscle building hormones or whatever, and didn't qualify.

And then need the same shoulder reconstructions at age 30 that the successful athletes have, but without the medal in their cabinet.

The 'you can dream it, you can do it' thing is really false and unrealistic. I could dream of being a famous ballerina all I wanted, but my 6 foot tall body was never going to be successful in that way.

poundcake

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Well, "follow the money" has been decent career advice.

Sometimes I think we've had too many decades of "follow your dream."

I meant that "be a doctor, get rich" hasn't been good career advice for almost a generation now. The people I know who went into medicine because they thought they'd make tons of money ended up inhumanely overworked, and so in debt that even if they had doubts about their careers, they had to take certain jobs in the field just to pay off their school bills and insurance to practice. Ditto law. One of my friends went into law to "help people" and because she'd "always make money" at it. By the time she graduated, she was so disenchanted with the politics of the field that she didn't want to work in it any more, but couldn't afford any other way to pay off her debts. Thirteen years later, and she's miserable.

Follow your dreams, but if your dreams won't pay the rent, find another way to pay the rent, and keep following your dreams.

oz diva

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  • The Classics are SO last Century
A friend moved to Austria for school a year ago. You would not believe the number of people who have asked her if she's going to see kangaroos and koalas, or wants them to "put another shrimp on the barbie" and that sort of thing. And when she points out that, no, Austria is quite different from Australia, it isn't even that people misheard/misunderstood. It's that most of them didn't realize there was a country called Austria in the first place.  ???
Many years ago my sister worked as a nanny in Florida. Quite often people would tell her her English was great, considering she was Australian.

Victoria

Free Range Hippy Chick

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I find the 'follow your dream' thing interesting when it comes to sport. You see so many interviews with Olympians etc where they attribute their success to their hard work and dedication, and their family's support etc. And yes, they did have all those things. But plenty of people were exactly as dedicated, and worked just as hard, but were three inches too short, or not enough natural muscle building hormones or whatever, and didn't qualify.

And then need the same shoulder reconstructions at age 30 that the successful athletes have, but without the medal in their cabinet.

The 'you can dream it, you can do it' thing is really false and unrealistic. I could dream of being a famous ballerina all I wanted, but my 6 foot tall body was never going to be successful in that way.

And the same with the various talent programmes on TV. 'I deserve this! I want it so badly! I've worked so hard!' Yes, sweetie, maybe you are doing it for the granny who's dying, and maybe you have worked yourself into a lather, but that doesn't affect the fact that you sing like a bandsaw in a bathtub and dance like a rhino on speed. You may want it but you have no talent.

Twik

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Well, "follow the money" has been decent career advice.

Sometimes I think we've had too many decades of "follow your dream."

Follow the money is decent career advice if you're primarily motivated by money and material possessions. Not everyone is, though. What's wrong with 'follow your dream'?

I'm reminded of this quote: I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. ~ Mitch Hedberg

The problem with telling kids to follow their dreams is it's not very practical. The number of people who have had to take crap jobs to live far outnumbers those who can make a living at what they love. And many of those that had to give up their dreams feel as though they failed somehow, because they gave up, even though it was the only way.

I'd prefer to amend "follow your dreams" to "follow your dreams, just make sure the mortgage is paid first."

And many dreams are not all that practical. If everyone who dreamed of becoming a movie star, rock musician or pro sport legend followed those dreams, there would be few people left to do the real work of life.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Lynn2000

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I find the 'follow your dream' thing interesting when it comes to sport. You see so many interviews with Olympians etc where they attribute their success to their hard work and dedication, and their family's support etc. And yes, they did have all those things. But plenty of people were exactly as dedicated, and worked just as hard, but were three inches too short, or not enough natural muscle building hormones or whatever, and didn't qualify.

And then need the same shoulder reconstructions at age 30 that the successful athletes have, but without the medal in their cabinet.

The 'you can dream it, you can do it' thing is really false and unrealistic. I could dream of being a famous ballerina all I wanted, but my 6 foot tall body was never going to be successful in that way.

And the same with the various talent programmes on TV. 'I deserve this! I want it so badly! I've worked so hard!' Yes, sweetie, maybe you are doing it for the granny who's dying, and maybe you have worked yourself into a lather, but that doesn't affect the fact that you sing like a bandsaw in a bathtub and dance like a rhino on speed. You may want it but you have no talent.

Though, on the other hand, I think a lot of bosses, managers, etc. would rather have an employee who, yeah, had some talent, but was also personable and hard-working--as opposed to a creative genius who was unreliable and unpleasant. Of course those people tend to make a splash publicly, but they often make life horrible for those around them. And if we're talking about, say, a designer at a company, and not a rock star, I think they're more likely to be let go, because the boss would rather have a decent product on schedule, than a brilliant product "whenever I feel like it."
~Lynn2000

Shalamar

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I'm remembering a female character in Of Human Bondage - I can't remember her name, but she was studying to be an artist in Paris at the same time as the protagonist.  She had no talent, but she was convinced that if she just kept "plugging away", eventually she'd be successful.  Alas, it didn't turn out well.

cabbageweevil

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Mind you, I do get the impression that old W. Somerset was a bit of a miserable, cynical so-and-so...

Thipu1

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Years ago, a few friends were running a local marathon.  I lived a few blocks away from the route and knew their projected times.  The weather was a bit raw that day so I watched the TV coverage until the winners crossed the finish line.  That still left me plenty of time to get to the route and cheer on my friends. 

When I got there, a pleasant older lady and I started a conversation.  She wondered who would win.  I told her that the male winner was X and the female winner was Y.

She looked totally befuddled.  'Then, why are all these people still running?'

Twik

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Follow your dreams, but if your dreams won't pay the rent, find another way to pay the rent, and keep following your dreams.

Be like Wallace Stevens - insurance executive by day, Pulitzer Prize winning poet by night.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Dazi

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I had a friend that was throwing out two week old refrigerated apples. I asked her what the heck she was doing and she told me they were "too old"  to eat now. I totally blew her mind when I told her store bought apples are usually already at least a year old  sometimes nearly two years old. Two weeks in a home refrigerator is not going to make them go anymore bad.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Lynn2000

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I had a friend that was throwing out two week old refrigerated apples. I asked her what the heck she was doing and she told me they were "too old"  to eat now. I totally blew her mind when I told her store bought apples are usually already at least a year old  sometimes nearly two years old. Two weeks in a home refrigerator is not going to make them go anymore bad.

Not sure I would've known exactly how old the produce was before it got to me. Was she throwing them out because they didn't look good to her anymore, or because of some arbitrary two-week threshold she'd picked up somewhere? If the former, I don't see anything wrong with that. I live alone, so if I know I'm not going to eat something, I get rid of it. Like milk past the date on the carton--intellectually I know it's just the sell-by date, not the "milk turns into poison" date, but I know I'm not going to drink it past that date, so I might as well pour it down the drain.
~Lynn2000