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  • September 24, 2017, 04:25:21 PM

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Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 1173815 times)

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Cleargleam

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5790 on: August 09, 2017, 08:21:51 PM »
A back-baring sundress does nothing to present a professional, informed business image.

<headdesk>

I suppose it's better than jeans and a hoodie, but never have I seen anyone so actively resistant to presenting in a polished business-appropriate manner.
It might have been here, might have been on campus that the idea was brought up that to recent graduates 'dressing up/looking nice' and 'club wear/going out on the town as a student' are conflated somehow.  So they think they are 'dressed up'.   Probably falls more on the females since there is so much range in clothing types as opposed to guys.

And here I thought that the process of acquiring that shiny degree involved acquiring an understanding of how to reason, and how to research.  But then, she's not exactly proactive, either.  If it isn't handed to her on a silver platter, she doesn't exactly go looking for information.

There's a current thread about this on Ask A Manager, and people are pointing out that a large part of the problem is figuring out who can be trusted here. In particular, a lot of what is presented both in fashion magazines and in clothing stores as "professional" or "work clothing" isn't appropriate for many offices. One poster mentioned having had a job at Macy's, and as part of orientation being told about the things that they store was pushing as "career" clothing that weren't acceptable for her to wear to work in that store. Search terms like "office wear" also led people to things that wouldn't be appropriate for most jobs. "Assume the experts are lying to you" isn't part of standard "how to do research" advice.

I need to add to this, in that no one should have to tell you that dresses and skirts that don't quite reach mid-thigh are not work appropriate without an opaque legging or tight. We have a fairly new employee in our building that wears only skater dresses and many of hers are just below the panty line. It's really not appropriate.

"Skater dress". I like that. It's much nicer than what we called them

Maybe they want a career showing what's behind curtain number one?  The model/presenters on some of the game shows have awfully short skirts.

gmatoy

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5791 on: August 09, 2017, 11:43:22 PM »
In the early 1970's I worked for a publishing company and one of the female editors wore clothes that I never, ever would have worn.

One day I got called into the highest editor's office and was asked how I knew to wear clothing that was always appropriate. I told him that if I wouldn't wear it in front of my father, I wouldn't wear it to work. He laughed and dismissed me.

I was the receptionist. I didn't wear suits, which all of the editors, male and female, did. I wore blouses and skirts or slacks and dresses. Oh, yes, I did wear a bra. Every day. Guess who didn't?

I still have no idea why that gentleman called me into his office, but I got a lovely raise not long afterwards.

#borecore

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5792 on: August 10, 2017, 06:56:28 AM »
On the other hand, I'm an attorney with witness meetings today, and I am wearing a sleeveless dress, as I do about half the time in court, too. So do most of my female colleagues. My office has a dress code, and I follow it. I just wear a blazer any time I'm not alone in my office. I find button-down shirts mostly unflattering and dresses with sleeves less than easy to find (and often dated or overall too conservative or plain, though certainly not always). Businesswear dresses very often don't have sleeves.

I can see being confused about dress when people present you with rules and then you see people 'in the wild' breaking the rules appropriately. How do you do the same? Unsuccessfully, at times, it seems!

siamesecat2965

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5793 on: August 10, 2017, 08:09:32 AM »


I'm like jpcher. I separate more around drying cycle than I do colors. We wash towels separately because they can be dried on high and we don't get their lint on other items. Jeans or heavy pants are together because they take a longer drying cycle and can be dried on med high (I might throw in a stray cup towel in this batch. Then I wash the things that need to be dried on low. And finally the items that are hung or lay flat to dry.

Anything I think might not be color fast the first few washes gets washed separately.

This is one of the few reasons I love having to go to the laundromat. While I may wash jeans and tees and other lighter weigh stuff together, I tend to dry like items. And they have tons of dryers, so unless its super crazy busy, i'm usually able to separate one wash load into 2 dryers...It annoys me when I'm dogsitting and doing my laundry since i usually will dry my wash loads in stages, which takes longer :)

nutraxfornerves

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5794 on: August 10, 2017, 10:22:31 AM »
Way back when, my first "real" job was with a government agency, in a unit that did Science Stuff. I was the first woman ever hired for a fully professional position; before that women had only been accepted as technici s, AKA lab flunky. Time passed, a new broom came in, and the agency discovered that there was s huge untapped talent pool in these underemployed technicians.

One of the first techs moved into a full scientist position was "Jane." By that time, I had moved into a first level supervisory position, again the only woman at that level. I didn't directly supervise Jane, but my employees often collaborated with her.

Not long after she was hired, I was chatting with her and a few other staff. Someone asked Jane, "How do you like working with Nutrax."  Jane relied "Well, she's a better role model than 'Barbie'."  Everyone laughed, but it actually brought me up short.

Barbie was a well-known lab tech. She did just enough work to keep management from going through the considerable civil service hassle of firing her, but she was a notorious goof off. It seemed like every time I went to the ladies room, she was in there doing her hair or make up. She also favored skimpy skirts and tight blouses. I don't think she actually did any "favors" for the male scientists or supervisors, but she knew how to flirt just right to get her way. She generally ignored women.

It hit me that Jane was right; there were almost no female role models in supervisory or management positions.  Here was a niche I was occupying, without realizing it. One of the steps I took was to change how I dressed at work. It was a pretty casual workplace, and I had been dressing the same as lower level staf (well, not like Barbie). I took my cue from lower and middle level managers. They tended to dress in what is now "business casual," although many still wore ties. So, I switched to the equivalent of that. Later on, as I advanced, I moved on to more formal attire.

I don't know how much influence I might have had, but I also never had problems with inappropriately dressed staff   

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

TootsNYC

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5795 on: August 10, 2017, 10:44:28 AM »

I do, however, separate by weight (jeans/sweats in one load and blouses/shirts in another) due to drying time.

@jpcher - I would never have thought to do that! Very interesting.

I separate by color for washing, and by weight/temperature for drying. But, I just realized, I live in an apartment building, and I can do two loads at once of both.

jpcher

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5796 on: August 10, 2017, 04:41:20 PM »
RE: Business attire

Many years ago we had a new hire (Crystal) in our graphics department. She was a young 20something and this was her first job out of college.

She was working with us for maybe a month or two when we had a new director (ND) come in to meet the team. It was informal, we all sat in a round circle (no table) and went around the group introducing ourselves to the ND.

ND was impressed with our group experience and said as much.

Once the meeting broke up and ND left the room Crystal flounced away and loudly stated "You know why he loved us so much? It's because I wore my short skirt."

She didn't make any points that day, nor did she last much longer with our company. Gee, I wonder why. ::)

WolfWay

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Re: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People
« Reply #5797 on: August 11, 2017, 07:29:41 AM »
RE: Business attire

Many years ago we had a new hire (Crystal) in our graphics department. She was a young 20something and this was her first job out of college.

She was working with us for maybe a month or two when we had a new director (ND) come in to meet the team. It was informal, we all sat in a round circle (no table) and went around the group introducing ourselves to the ND.

ND was impressed with our group experience and said as much.

Once the meeting broke up and ND left the room Crystal flounced away and loudly stated "You know why he loved us so much? It's because I wore my short skirt."

She didn't make any points that day, nor did she last much longer with our company. Gee, I wonder why. ::)
Conversely, one of our female sales department staff members wears incredibly short skirts and low cut tops and is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but she is very popular with a certain type of client. She doesn't handle big clients or accounts by herself but often goes along to assist on certain sales meetings.

We had a rather hilarious conversation about that once on a conference call with a client who didn't realise that he was on a conference call (boss just has us sitting together silently around the conference phone on his end to just nod or shake our heads when the client asked him about our technical capabilities). Client finished off the call by asking our boss if he could "bring that nice little bit of blonde hotness" with him next time boss went to visit the client onsite. The boss snatched the phone off the receiver so he could finish the rest of the call in private, while the rest of us silently died of laughter around him.
<3