The posts re "bovine-informationally-challenged" bring to mind my favourite thing of all time, on those lines. Admittedly, it was written by a kid, so allowing leeway is in order. An (urban) schoolchild was told to write an essay on one kind of bird, and one kind of beast.
"The bird I am going to write about is the owl. The owl cannot see at all in the daytime, and at night it is as blind as a bat.
I do not know much about the owl, so I will go on to the beast I am going to choose. It is the cow. The cow is a mamal, and it is tame. It has six sides, right, left, fore, back, and upper and below. At the back it has a tail on which hangs a brush. With this it sends the flies away, so that they do not fall into the milk. The head is for the purpose of growing horns, and so that the mouth can be somewhere. The horns are to butt with. The mouth is to moo with. Under the cow hangs the milk. It is arranged for milking. When people milk, the milk comes, and there is never any end to the supply. How the cow does it I have not yet realised, but it makes more and more. The man cow is called an ox, but what it eats it eats twice, so that it gets enough. When it is hungry, it moos, and when it says nothing, it is because its inside is full up of grass.
The cow has a good sense of smell; it can be smelt from a long way away. That is the reason for the fresh air in the country."
