Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 293988 times)

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Jocelyn

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When I was about 7, we had a visiting missionary staying in our house. After church on Sunday, my father looked out the front of our house, through a vacant lot, to the back porch of a neighbor's home, and observed a skunk standing on the porch. He ran to the phone and warned them not to go out their back door, and then, because it was a weekend and we didn't have 24/7 police in our little town, began brainstorming about who he knew who had a gun and could come over and and dispatch the skunk.
The missionary began following him around saying, 'But it's one of God's little creatures! Why would you want to harm it?' I remember Dad giving Mom a look like, 'Keep this fool away from me,'; it was the moment in my life that I realized that even highly esteemed adults could be complete idiots about other things. While it was indeed one of God's little creatures, it was most likely one of God's little rabid creatures, because skunks just don't walk that far into town in broad daylight. At any rate, Dad wasn't about to take a chance on a child getting bitten, and  he'd lived most of his life on a ranch where you dealt with issues yourself.
Which reminds me of the limerick:
 
There once was a man from the city,
Who met what he thought was a kitty
He said 'Nice little cat!
And gave it a pat,
They buried his clothes out of pity.

Nikko-chan

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Wonder what the 'kitty' was.

At any rate, these stories you all have are cracking me up!

jedikaiti

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After 20 years on the Ref desk I've been tempted to write a book titled, 'I'm Forever Bursting
Bubbles'.

Please do!

Yes, please!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Slartibartfast

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Wonder what the 'kitty' was.

At any rate, these stories you all have are cracking me up!

I assume a skunk  :P

Nikko-chan

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Wonder what the 'kitty' was.

At any rate, these stories you all have are cracking me up!

I assume a skunk  :P

The last line made me assume vicious predator cat. so when "they buried his clothes out of pity' i thought it meant the fellow was dead!

Thipu1

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Wonder what the 'kitty' was.

At any rate, these stories you all have are cracking me up!

I assume a skunk  :P

The last line made me assume vicious predator cat. so when "they buried his clothes out of pity' i
thought it meant the fellow was dead!

I just thought it was a skunk and the man's clothes were buried out of pity because there was no way to get rid of the smell. 

CrazyDaffodilLady

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I mentioned at work that I was having a salad for lunch because I was watching my weight.  Male Coworker (supposedly a genius) nearly screamed at me not to do it because lettuce was one of the most fattening foods in existence.  I asked why he thought that, and he said, “Look around.  When you see a fat person eating, what are they eating?  Lettuce!”

I didn’t bother arguing with him because it would not have changed his mind.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Jocelyn

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Wonder what the 'kitty' was.

At any rate, these stories you all have are cracking me up!
I tried to attach a picture of a skunk, but it wouldn't attach. ;)

Nikko-chan

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reminds me of those pepe le pew cartoons where he chases after the cat, thinking she's a skunk. this was just the reverse!

Amara

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I stopped in to buy some eggs today from the woman at the local feed store who sells them to favored customers. She had just gotten back from two weeks' vacation with her mother in Maine and had a wonderful time. While she was gone, her husband had done a wonderful job, doing all the chores on the ranch. Perfect!

Except that he didn't wash any dishes. For two weeks. Pots, pans, plates, silverware were all piled in the sinks and on the counters and all manner of disgusting things, including dead (who presumably died happy) flies were encrusted. It took her one and a half days to clean it up. She was going to get mad at him, but because he did everything else she didn't. She did, however, ask him what he did when he ran out of cooking and eating utensils. He ate out, of course.

Dr. F.

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I mentioned at work that I was having a salad for lunch because I was watching my weight.  Male Coworker (supposedly a genius) nearly screamed at me not to do it because lettuce was one of the most fattening foods in existence.  I asked why he thought that, and he said, “Look around.  When you see a fat person eating, what are they eating?  Lettuce!”

I didn’t bother arguing with him because it would not have changed his mind.

Yeah, cause and effect are NOT the same thing! Even grad students have a hard time with that one.

JenJay

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When my husband was at military police school he met a guy from New York who, upon learning that DH was from Oregon, asked "Wow, really? Have you ever had any run-ins with Indians?" He thought it was dangerous to go out into rural areas!

lemonfloorwax

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Yes, we do, in fact, vote for Senators.
No, you can not see the Eiffel Tower from everywhere in France.
No, Pennsylvania Dutch do not speak Dutch, they speak German.
No, the Amish do not have to get driver's licenses.
Yes, bob cats can be female. (How did she think they reproduced?  :o)
No, moth balls are not made from dead moths.
No, waxed paper and parchment (baking) paper are not interchangeable.
No, guinea pigs are not from New Guinea.
No, ink jet printers do not print white. You can not stick a black piece of paper in the printer and expect it to "print with the white ink".

All of these were from the same woman. I honestly have no idea how she survived to adulthood.

Katana_Geldar

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I stopped in to buy some eggs today from the woman at the local feed store who sells them to favored customers. She had just gotten back from two weeks' vacation with her mother in Maine and had a wonderful time. While she was gone, her husband had done a wonderful job, doing all the chores on the ranch. Perfect!

Except that he didn't wash any dishes. For two weeks. Pots, pans, plates, silverware were all piled in the sinks and on the counters and all manner of disgusting things, including dead (who presumably died happy) flies were encrusted. It took her one and a half days to clean it up. She was going to get mad at him, but because he did everything else she didn't. She did, however, ask him what he did when he ran out of cooking and eating utensils. He ate out, of course.

That's one fast way of taking all the joy out of a vacation,

Nikko-chan

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Yes, we do, in fact, vote for Senators.
No, you can not see the Eiffel Tower from everywhere in France.
No, Pennsylvania Dutch do not speak Dutch, they speak German.
No, the Amish do not have to get driver's licenses.
Yes, bob cats can be female. (How did she think they reproduced?  :o)
No, moth balls are not made from dead moths.
No, waxed paper and parchment (baking) paper are not interchangeable.
No, guinea pigs are not from New Guinea.
No, ink jet printers do not print white. You can not stick a black piece of paper in the printer and expect it to "print with the white ink".

All of these were from the same woman. I honestly have no idea how she survived to adulthood.

The bobcat one could have easily been because if a male bobcat reproduces with a female domesticated cat (in the story that happened with my neighbors part bobcat heidi-- don't let the name fool you, he was a male) the bobcat will chase off the female, presumably after the kittens are of weaning age.