Author Topic: An Adult Should Really Know This - Silly Things You've Had to Tell People  (Read 213759 times)

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audhs

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

oogyda

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Sitting in the cubicle farm I once worked in, I heard the woman in the next cubicle asking for a phone number. 

"I need a listing for John Doe in Shre-vee-port.  It's in L.A.  No, I don't know what part...it says Shre-vee-port." 

I walked over, hung up her phone and looked at the account on her computer screen.  Then I told her that LA stands for Louisiana and it's pronounced Shreeve-port. 

She had called directory assistance in southern California.

It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

cwm

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

I want your mayor to come be our mayor. He sounds like fun.

Pen^2

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

The world needs more mayors like yours.

AndreaBeth105

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

My mayor's response to the same (I'm guessing) flooding included the phrase "shower with a buddy."  It sounds like we both have great mayors.
"Humor is reason gone mad." ~Groucho Marx

siamesecat2965

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

My mayor's response to the same (I'm guessing) flooding included the phrase "shower with a buddy."  It sounds like we both have great mayors.

He must be related to my Governor. He can be pretty blunt, and has come out and told people NOT to do things that should be common sense, like during Hurricane Sandy stay OFF the beaches, and so on. He's awesome.

Softly Spoken

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Okay I can't get it out of my head every time I come back to this thread so I have to drop this last tidbit re: apple cider and apple juice...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fDsuHH8RAA

If the video doesn't work, here is the key quote from Ned Flanders on "The Simpsons":
"If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there fella! If it's tangy and brown you're in cider town." ;D

I always got sparkling apple cider while my parents had wine to toast the New Year. One year I got to try a sip of their wine - I begged for my sparkling cider back! To me, the wine just tasted like grape juice that has gone bad. Plus the apple cider had fizzy bubbles! :P
These days I stick to juice and non alcoholic cider, because I find most alcoholic drinks to be too bitter for me.
"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."  ~Frank A. Clark

White Dragon

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

I saw that same news clip!
Just boggling that people needed to be told not to boat on rivers running 10x normal speed and volume.
Oh - and after a torrential rain and massive flood...don't water your lawns... ::)

CrazyDaffodilLady

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A friend who’s a park ranger at a public beach in Texas says that whenever a hurricane is coming in, people flock to the beach to watch, or even to surf.  Many get quite irate when told the park has been evacuated and they have to leave.

It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

CuriousParty

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When your city has declared a state of emergency due to flooding (described as once in a hundred years kind of flooding). It's a really stupid idea to take a Canoe out on the river.


They mayors response

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You cannot boat on the river. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people I saw in a canoe on the Bow river today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency, I'm not allowed to invoke the Darwin law.
If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we're taking away valuable resource from others. Everytime we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river, it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flooded. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So, do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you're interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use."

My mayor's response to the same (I'm guessing) flooding included the phrase "shower with a buddy."  It sounds like we both have great mayors.

He must be related to my Governor. He can be pretty blunt, and has come out and told people NOT to do things that should be common sense, like during Hurricane Sandy stay OFF the beaches, and so on. He's awesome.

I was just saying to DH that the mayor sounds like Christie, except, yannow, slightly more polite.  Must be the Jersey-Canada translation ;)

White Dragon

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My coworker told me this one today.

She was talking to a woman in her mid 30s who had only just learned that pickles are made out of...cucumbers.

kherbert05

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A friend who’s a park ranger at a public beach in Texas says that whenever a hurricane is coming in, people flock to the beach to watch, or even to surf.  Many get quite irate when told the park has been evacuated and they have to leave.
That ticks me off to no end. When you are told to evacuate - evacuate. Do not create more trouble for the first responders, they have too much to do.


What really makes me mad is people in evacuation zones that stay there then complain that they were in danger and no one came when they called for help during the storm. This is after they have been told repeatedly that if you don't evacuate no one is going to be able to get through the storm to help you. People staying in evacuation zones with kids deserve a special place in hell and should be charged with endangerment and neglect at the very least. Of course if they don't have transportation out - the authorities should make arrangements to get those people out of the evacuation zones.


Unlike any other natural disaster with hurricanes you have usually a week or more of watching the storm develop and move towards the coast. From June to October I never let my car get below 1/2 full. If we are on the edge of a cone - doesn't get below 3/4 - in the middle I fill up every evening if I've been out. I have a go kit in garage - just add dog food, computer, photo albums, some cross stitched pillows Mom made, and bag of important papers.  and I can leave. I have another box of emergency supplies if I'm told to shelter in place.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

ladyknight1

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I live in the middle of Florida and hurricane season is in sway as I type. All county and city governments offer clinics to help people prepare for these storms, the local hardware/home stores offer classes and kits of supplies.

Still, there is always nearly 1/3 of the people who live here (not tourists) who will have no food, batteries, candles, manual can openers, pet supplies, drinking water,  first aid kit, hygiene water, or store of their medication.

Hurricanes always give at least 8 hours of notice of their arrival as long as you pay attention to the local news or radio station.

Thipu1

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A friend who’s a park ranger at a public beach in Texas says that whenever a hurricane is coming in, people flock to the beach to watch, or even to surf.  Many get quite irate when told the park has been evacuated and they have to leave.

When I was a teen, I worked for several summers at a pool.  The area was subject to pop-up thunderstorms that could be pretty fierce.  The area around the poll was also wide open. 

We were always amazed how many visitors had to be almost literally pulled out of the pool and herded into sheltered areas. The classic plaint was, 'Why?  I don't care if it's raining.  I'm already wet'.     

Jocelyn

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I'm not sure that's so silly- many of us have been taught that lightening will strike the HIGHEST point around, so being in a pool doesn't seem too dangerous. I didn't realize that there is a danger in being in an indoor pool during a thunderstorm, either, until a lifeguard explained that if lightening were to strike a tree outdoors, it would travel into the ground and all that water would be the path of least resistance...